well today i leave for orientation...last night my parents yelled for a solid hour about how i don't appriciate this opportunity they are providing me at miami...they claim i'm not excited enough...

so in order to make the screeching stop...i faked excitement...made upsome lie about how i didnt want to upset them by mentioning leaving , or some crap like that. the truth: i totally regret choosing miami (i did it just to prove a point to a LOSER high school NON-grad! i wish i had decided on UGA...maybe orientation will help = (

to be a slut or not be a slut....that would be the question of the day...

sure, you miss "southern young lady" can pretend like sexual frustraion/drive doesnt exist for you...but you'd be lying...i have been SUCH a good kid (gar no comment from you) and i know i shouldn't screw up now. but sometimes the guy is SO hot or SUCH a romantic or BOTH...the other day he who will remain nameless asked why i was an 18 yr old high school grad and still a virgin...it's a good question...because i don't really know. i mean i've had the offers...good and bad...saying faith would be a bit of a lie b/c i drink...and i'm not supposed to do that...i lie on occasion and that's not allowed either...i could say i've "never really wanted to" but WOW have i ever...especially with the mistake...i dunno

i guess this little thought crossed my mind because in college you really are free to do whatever and whoever you want and you have a place and opportunity to do it...and all the guys are so focused on it...

i guess the reason really is i've been good so far! why break the awesome cycle = ) not profound...most guys don't/won't get it...but honestly it makes sense to me

ps today i bought my 1st real louis!!! it's my baby!!!

oh ya caring about somebody is TOTALLY different i just don't love guys at the moment (in the non lesbian way)

is this summer not WEIRD for everyone? i mean everything i do appears to be in preparation for leaving. i am beginning to get scared...i picked a school i don't like all that much just to be different. allow me to be honest for a moment, i'm not that different. i've never struck out on my own...done anything drastic, hell i never cut more than 4 inches off my hair at a time...what was i thinking trecking more than 500 miles away from the only home/place i've ever known.

it really hit me when i scheduled my orientation...i'm going literally with NO ONE else...what if "they" dont like me...what if i'm as unacepted and unsuccessful in oxford as i was in east cobb...yet in OH i wont have my fall back people...those that have known me forever and love me regardless of my major flaws... what will i do... laura said it best, "lauren how are you going to make friends? i'm worried you dont talk to strangers"

any of you outgoing kids have advice for my shy unconfident self?

i guess i'm updating again...

SO we're graduated...a bench mark in our lives...this summer is a place and time where we haven't officially moved on/ progressed but we definately arent stuck in the everyday life at george walton comprehensive high school!  Some will leave us within the next few weeks, and others in only a few months...i ook forward to spending my last adolescent summer with y'all...the road trips, beaches, parties, and more...

i can't hardly wait to leave this place....this boring nothing to do besides aimlessly wander and layout/drink coffee...but i can hardly stand the thought of leaving the people...the people that have made this "nothing to do" town seem livable and down right fun at times!

ps i may decide not to go to college at all and becone a professional graduate....i mean i made over $3000 dollars for ONE day!! but then my oh so brilliant stepdad pointed out that it's that much for 13 years...not so profitable!