BarelyJen's Xanga

bff revolution comes to a close.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:56:30 GMT

it's been an absolute joy to share my best friends with you. i would also like to mention a few more fabulous friends ... i'm so glad i have y'all in my life!

steve: thank you for making me sit down with HIMYM. haha, thanks for loads of other things, but mostly HIMYM.

shaun: oh, other boyfriend, i heart you. we'll run away to japan one day.

grayson: you're the best big brother i could ever ask for. (now dammit, pose in some pictures!)

jason: i will kick your ass at chess one day. i promise. thanks for growing up with me and being the best (blood) brother a girl could hope for.

ian/peter/di: i know you were alex's way before i came into the picture, but i'm glad you're in my corner, too.

bran: i can never thank you enough for all that you've done for me. (plus, i love you even more because we share a birthday!!)

bff revolution day four: alex.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:32:05 GMT

as the bff revolution draws to a close, i'd like to focus your attention on the most important person in my life.

he is more than just my best friend; he is a person i admire, the person i trust more than anything ... and of course, the only person i will passionately kiss (and ...) for the rest of my life.

alexander wesley bare, your turn has finally arrived.

the story of how we met has already been put out there. but it's everything after that made me fall in love with you.

you were never afraid of jumping into our relationship with everything you had. even when i was ready to jump ship because of my insecurities, you stuck with it and made us survive. it's a testament to your greatness that, after five years, we're not sick of each other. lol, in fact, i just can't get enough of you.

your unfailing support has helped me get where i am now. you've pushed me to do things i never thought i was capable of. i appreciate it more than anything i can put here.

... an hour has passed since i wrote the previous line. i've been trying to come up with a way to encapsulate everything i'm thinking and feeling, but for once, i am speechless.

i'll let my previous posts do the talking (one from each year we've been together since the birth of my xanga):

may 8, 2004
Alex left yesterday, but that's ok. I haven't cried since he left. I watched him walk in the door of Hubbell, and that was that. He went back to packing, and I went to do checkouts. (read more)

november 3, 2005
I had no idea that I would be given as much stress as I have been since being engaged. It's a good kind of stress, though, and I'm loving every minute of it. (read more)

august 21, 2006
Saturday was a day filled with birthday parties, let me tell you... and it made for the best pre-birthday birthday ever! (read more)

june 6, 2007
...can you believe it!?! It was an amazing few days leading up to the wedding, and it was followed by a perfect honeymoon. Here's a recap: (read more)

february 14, 2008

i love you for ...

being a kind person.
taking the trash out.
holding my hand.
watching girlie flicks.
driving me around.
not snoring.
making me laugh.
watching tv at night.
talking to me.
doing laundry.
kissing me lots.
walking the dog.
being intelligent.
scooping cat poo.
being supportive.
having a job.
grocery shopping.
giving me space.
rubbing my back.

loving me.

it is these moments — and so many more — that have cumulated into my consciousness, forming the love greater than any i'll ever know.

i love you with my whole heart, best friend.

two of the people i trust most in this world.

i know i said i hated you, but thank you for proposing.

we're married!

it took us four years to get here. i can't wait for the rest of forever.

honeymoonin' in disney.

"love is as strong as death"

marrying you was the best day of my life.

haha, it's the little things.

our first puppy. (probably our last )

our family.

our first christmas card.

you are simply irresistible.

you always give the best presents.

my hard workin' man.

you make me try new things:

and you do the same for me. (at least you've confirmed your hatred for pickles!)

most of all, you make me laugh!

i love you, baby. times infinity squared plus one.

heinz's banned advertisement.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:45:17 GMT

should it have been allowed to air? is society afraid to show it's progress? thoughts?

RIP randy pausch.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:17:37 GMT

after a valiant battle with terminal cancer, carnegie mellon professor randy pausch died this morning at his home in virginia. he was 47.

i've been an admirer of his since his "last lecture" came out last year. here are a few samplings of previous posts of mine he's been featured in:

my hero.

randy pausch, i salute you.

"... there was one practice where coach just rode me all practice. You’re doing this wrong, you’re doing this wrong, go back and do it again, you owe me, you’re doing push-ups after practice. And when it was all over, one of the other assistant coaches came over and said, yeah, Coach Graham rode you pretty hard, didn’t he? I said, yeah. He said, that’s a good thing. He said, when you’re screwing up and nobody’s saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up. And that’s a lesson that stuck with me my whole life. Is that when you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are your ones telling you they still love you and care." —randy pausch

i don't want to be alone.

life isn't fair
God works in mysterious ways. i have no idea how he chooses how and when a person will die, nor do i want to. that is his Divine right as the Creator to decide. that said, it still doesn't make it fair when a person is killed in the prime of their life.

freak accidents: a daddy-to-be dies on a late night run to satisfy his pregnant wife's hankering for ice cream. a woman killed on the way to her daughter's dance recital.

car crashes. bullets. explosions. war. terrorism. earthquakes. floods.

the randomess of it all is up to chance, but it's one you take each day to live.

take randy pausch, for example.

he was dealt a bittersweet hand, to be sure. after years of being single and building his dream career, he married the love of his life and had three children. just as he was realizing his own meaning and purpose in life, he was given a concrete death sentence in the form of incurable cancer. with only months to live, he is scrambling to get his family's affairs in order while struggling to stay healthy as long as possible.

every few days, he posts his status on his website. he is very candid about his progress: his kidneys are slowly failing; his tumor count is in the hundreds, increasing daily. how can he have the strength to prepare for death? equally as curious: how can his wife, jai, find the strength to live when part of her life stops? the strength is in everyone, i'm sure, but to be able to draw from it —and continue to be grateful — is the challenging part.

this is his famous lecture on "really achieving your childhood dreams"

here's his updated "last" lecture on time management.

i pray for the strength of his family and friends to get through this difficult time ... rest in peace, randy ... your next journey is just beginning.

what was his message? at the core, he wanted us to take away these simple concepts for a more meaningful life:

1. Earnest Is Better Than Hip
2. Don't Complain, Just Work Harder
3. Get People's Attention
4. Show Gratitude
5. A Bad Apology is Worse Than No Apology
5. Tell The Truth
6. Get in Touch With Your Crayon Box
7. Look for the Best in Everybody

how has randy affected your attitude on life?

external links that you may find interesting:
a final farewell — wall street journal
randy's website
an enduring legacy — carengie mellon

rogue ad wins at cannes.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 10:08:22 GMT

i'm not sure if anyone keeps up with the advertising world, but i thought i'd share a little something that hits close to home.

apparently, a rogue agent at ad agency saatchi and saatchi created a bogus ad for jcpenney. they thought it was so good, they submitted it to the cannes festival ... and it WON.

now, jcpenney is up in arms about the negative conotations of an ad they didn't ask for, and saatchi is claiming they didn't have anything to do with it.

as with most things placed on the internet, it's viral nature has claimed the curiousity of many netters, including myself (and most likely, you as well).

i think the ads are very clever and funny, despite going against the very image penney's has tried to portray. i don't think it was a horrible misstep for the company; in fact, it's got more people buzzing about jcp, piquing consumer's interest about a company that stereotypically appealed to an older genre.

truth is, jcpenney has totally revamped their image in recent years. with hip new brands and snazzy marketing, it's really appealing to the younger generations. (seriously. go check out their new back to school campaign)

maybe the company isn't ready for such a dramatic advertising shift like this, but i think the public is ready to learn more about the freshness of jcp.

and here's another rogue ad ... not as controversial, but once again, not requested by the company.

my styrofoam art ...

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:57:30 GMT

placed fourth overall!!

bff revolution day four: sara.

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:00:41 GMT

it's funny how you can fall into friendship. it came so easily for sara and i.

we had known of each other for almost a year, but never really connected. we were both in community college — different ones, of course — and went with a phi theta kappa group to tour a college in texas.

hah, i remember it perfectly. we were touring the education building, and as we came downstairs in the glass elevator, we turned to each other. not knowing much more than each other's names, we asked to be each other's roommate.

the friendship was on like donkey kong.

six years later, i am still proud to call her my bestest.

so sara, i would like to thank you for all of the awesomeness (including, but not limited to ):

being my roommate our first year. it was the best trial marriage i could ever ask for.

afternoon naps.

KAPPA SIGMA.

doing my hair whenever we went out.

trusting me with coloring yours!

making me make the most out of college.

holding my hair when i threw up (that ONE memorable time!!)

road trips!!

introducing me to my husband.

joining kappa delta, and becoming my official sister. AOT forever.

fighting. we've only grown closer because of it. (ya stubborn ass! j/k!)

driving up to visit me (with or without alex) on the weekends.

finding the love you deserve.

being my maid of honor.

trying on every ridiculous dress we found.

holding my dress up when i had to pee.

giving the best speech i could have ever asked for.

movie nights.

kelly clarkson concert. a-maz-ing!!

unlocking my door when i forgot my keys inside.

watching my house on vacation.

and most of all, being the most stupendous person i've come to depend on. i have enjoyed every moment of watching you grow into the woman you've become. we're gonna grow old together, sister (and watch your kid marry mine, of course)

i love you, bestest!!

what can a person do to be more optimistic in life?

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:08:40 GMT

just don't think.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

bff revolution day three: brent.

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:29:37 GMT

i truly believe that women are better at being friends with men than they are with women. there are some notable exceptions to that, to be sure (and i have a "girl" friend or two to prove that). nonetheless, women unwittingly crave a man's friendship.

nothing could be closer to the truth for me than with my BBFF (best "boy" friend forever) brent.

actually, i think i kind of stole brent from alex. even though they remain best friends to this day, i sometimes forget that he "belonged" to alex first.

it's been great to form our friendship outside of the confines of "i'm just hanging out with my husband's friends because i have to" kind of thing. (in fact, i'm very proud to say that i've formed fabulous friendships with just about all of his FM friends!)

they may have been alex's first, but they're mine too.

instead of going on and on about how we met, etc, i'd like to share with you a list of things i appreciate about my BBFF:

of course, he's funny, smart and handsome ... heehee. gotta get the superficial part out of the way.
he (and brandon) drove alex six hours to see me for a weekend during our first long-distance stint. he's just nice like that.
he and i have the same "quirks", and he has been instrumental in getting me through the rough patches.
we started an annual "celebrate the break up at the bar" drink night. he knows what i mean.
he's a crazy-ass driver.
he made us get out and socialize, even when i didn't want to. some of the best times were had with the gang at his apartment.
he had the innate ability to keep the entire FM group together; he was our rock.
he gives the best advice, and when he doesn't have any, he doesn't pretend otherwise.
he had the guts to pick up everything and move across country for love.
he's in the 26 club.
he has (mostly) good taste in women ... especially the one he has now!

essentially, he's one of the most genuine and honest people i've ever met. since he moved away last year, it's been quite an adjustment on all of us. to his credit, he's been working hard to keep in touch. i know that in him, i have a true friend for life.

aww, i heart you, b!

bff revolution day two: pam.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:37:00 GMT

i was six years old when we moved into 30 in den langwiesen (landstuhl, germany). it was our third time to move that year, and i remember feeling scared to be in a new place ... especially since we knew no one.

even so, i was so excited to live there. previously, we were in a five-floor walk up apartment in miesenbach. lol, it was the top apartment above a car dealership, and a stone's throw away from a slaughter house. needless to say, there weren't too many kids around that part of town.

but in our new neighborhood, the streets were teeming with kids. jason (my brother) and i went down to the park, hoping to introduce ourselves, but we were ignored.

looking back, that's just what kids did ... they kept with what was familiar, and we were anything but.

as i was playing in the far corner of the sandbox, a girl came up to me and sat down. we started building things in the sand and talked some. we decided right then to be best friends.

her name was pam.

it was such a happy coincidence that we lived right next door; it made being inseparable that much easier!

it was just like something out of a movie. our parents were best friends, our brothers were best friends, and of course, we were friendly soul mates.

some of my fondest childhood memories — most of them, in fact — have her in it.

we LOVED "the little mermaid", and would walk up and down the street for hours singing it. in fact, i'm sure you could ask either one of us to recite the dialog, and we could. we did it THAT MUCH.
the judds came out with their single "love can build a bridge." we came up with cheesy hand motions and would perform it for our parents every evening.
we played with our barbies all the time. it was always a struggle to figure out who would be barbie, and who would be ken. normally, i'd win the coveted role of barbie. our logic? i had longer hair. (until i turned 10, when my mom cut it all off. that's when i realized how much it sucked to play the boy! )
we discovered the "record" button on her sanyo cd player. we created "sanyo radio station" ... i was the DJ, and she was the co-host and theme song singer. i still have some of our recordings. LOL, we didn't have too many songs to work with, so we mostly featured our parent's records ... disco, carpenters and dolly parton were our favorites ... but of course, "fern gully" and "little mermaid" made the cut, too!

we were about 11 when her dad got transferred back to the states. that was the first time i had ever felt heartbreak or loss. for five years, we had done just about everything together — our two families had melded into one — and now, she was leaving me.

we kept in touch for a few years after she left, but as we got into our high school years, we just naturally drifted apart.

a little over a year ago, however, we found each other again — shortly before our weddings. it was funny to see how similar things had turned out between us: we had been with our to-be husbands about the same time, we were getting married within a week of each other, we chose the same colors, the same type dress ... yup. soul mates, indeed.

so, here's to you, pam. thank you for shaping my childhood into something magical and being the fabulous first best friend i could have ever asked for.