BassHarmony's Xanga

Great-ish Expectations

Mon, 26 May 2008 17:39:55 GMT

   A week ago, I received my stupid-good-better-than-I-deserve MCAT score. You'd think this would make me ecstatic, that I would interpret it as some shining beacon towards getting into a good med school. To be fair, there is a nontrivial amount of that. Yet, I've been more stressed than expected this last week, more so than before I got my score.

   I've finally figured out why (thanks, cathartic runs!). I think that one of the few things worse than scoring poorly on the MCAT is scoring very well on it, then not making use of it. I interpret the score as a combination of my preparation and quite frankly, a gift from God. Now that I've got this gift, I very much do feel the pressure to make the best of it.

     I'm well aware that the exam is something that helps put you on a particular tier, but there's still much work to be done to make sure that you stay there and get into something of that tier. I'm just mortified that I won't put in the last remaining work (essays, recommendations) that an admissions person would expect of someone with my score. I guess this is the very definition of heightened expectations, and why anyone in the know tells me that the (medical) rat race never will never until I willfully and consciously get out of the race.

Involvement vs. Commitment

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 03:47:03 GMT

I heard the following quote today, and upon some googling I found that it originated from Martina Navratilova:

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed."

If only it were bacon instead of ham, I'd totally be committed!

Awards

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:24:23 GMT

Every now and then I gain recognition in interesting ways. At the end of high school, I was voted 'most likely to go wild with his newfound college freedom'. I discovered today that one of my current groups of friends has voted me 'person I'd least want to trade lives with right now'. Ouch.

I don't think my current life is all that sucky, but I will admit that the friends in question probably have better ones..less stressful ones at least! Oh well, c'est la vie.

Alone

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 03:15:15 GMT

I was at a party earlier this evening with a number of friends. At one point, there were only four of us in the room, the other three being friends who have been in Boston for as long as I have, a year and a half shy of a full decade. Then it hit me that six months from now, all of them will have moved elsewhere, either for school or work. I had known this for a while now, but I was suddenly hit with a large dose of loneliness. Not because I'll be friendless here (I won't be by any means), but that for better or worse, next winter will be markedly different at least with regard to my social life.

I can interpret this one of two ways. Firstly, that I should really look into moving on like so many of my friends have and accelerate the process that I've already set in motion. Alternatively, I can take this as a sign that it's time for me to improve at defining myself beyond the friends I have. I mean this in the sense that in the next party I attend, perhaps my first action shouldn't be to look for friends or acquaintances I know, but to meet people I don't. That I should actively create a niche such that when I look back many decades from now, I can unequivocally say that I charted a path that was motivated solely by my aspirations. The question then becomes, do I have that kind of will?

Spring in New England

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 15:44:01 GMT

I biked into work today wearing no layers but a t-shirt. It's currently sunny and 65 out with a light breeze. Lest you think something's wrong with this, I assure you it's very much in line with the schizophrenia that is Boston weather. This highlights the fact that Spring in New England isn't a continuous season -- it's really two weeks of Spring-like weather scattered between March and December.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 17:20:35 GMT

I was hit today with the notion that I possess a nontrivial amount of academic talent. I'm sure of this because it certainly wasn't my work ethic that got me through college.

Moods? WHA!??!

Wed, 31 May 2006 23:02:01 GMT

Realizations of the day:

1) Since virtually the beginning of the year, I've found that I now have not-so-infrequent mood swings, something that's entirely new to me. A part of me is thinking, what the heck, how do people live like this!?

2) At least for the moment, I'm finding a challenging run to be most cathartic for my mood.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:42:58 GMT

A few weeks ago, I had the thought that disappointment is almost an essential part of life, since it's one of the most common ways by which one's will or resolve is strengthened. Having had that thought, of course it's fitting that last week I experienced what probably counts among my larger disappointments. So now my current thoughts are more; yes, disappointments are necessary. Yes, I'm fairly sure that I'll come out of it better, stronger, and more aware of what I want and what I need to do to get it. But at the same time, I feel that I've lost some sense of hope and innocence through this process, and I wonder how much, if any, of it will ever return.

On a possibly related note, I've been sick for the last few days. This is really a rarity for me, as my illnesses almost never last longer than 48 hours. I think it's been at least seven years since I've been out of it for this long. So as a result, I cancelled my weekend activities and more or less just stayed inside. I don't know why I should be so surprised that it's been remarkably relaxing, despite all the hacking and sneezing. :p This also got me thinking, when was the last workweek (Mon-Fri) that I had zero planned extracurricular activities? According to my calendar, this last happened during the second week of August. It's been over eight months since my last truly free workweek!? Argh.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 19:11:59 GMT

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+ You're a pro at going with the flow. You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer. A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done. You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Monday, January 30, 2006

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 03:22:16 GMT

So I have this tendency to be a total late-bandwagon-jumper when it comes to (non-cartoon) TV shows. That is, by the time I hear of a show and start to regularly follow it, it's almost always already passed its prime. This applies to The Simpsons, Friends, The West Wing, and probably others that are escaping my mind at the moment. So I was genuinely surprised upon realizing a couple days ago that, I've started to religiously follow a show that's still at its creative/enjoyable peak! The show in question is NBC's Scrubs, currently in its fourth season. I watched the following episode, which has just earned a hallowed "Keep Until I Delete" status on my TiVo.

http://www.tv.com/scrubs/my-way-home/episode/586923/summary.html

Riveting drama, high comedy, acapella music, Toto..what more can you ask for out of 20 minutes?