| Photo Blog?Listen, it's not like you (plural. As in, "anyone") read this anymore anyway. So, in all honesty, it's for things I think I should write down, but I don't want to waste paper or hard drive space on. But then I fill in the gaps so you (again, pl.) can understand? Because I figure, since it's on the internet, someone might one day read it. So. Think of them as pictures, but I wrote the story on the back (if you're lucky). But they probably aren't new. So. Completely random moment that I thought of and wanted to tell someone about but I never did, complete with background stories. Background Story Number 1: My mom's name was Sharon. Is Sharon. She just doesn't respond to it anymore. She went by Sherry. I just wanted to tell you, because I recently decided "Sharon" is, in fact, a pretty name (I used to think it wasn't, and "Sherry" is just a drink. Don't tell my mom.) Background Story 2: The same week my mom died, some people from the-church-I-go-to-at-home (which was not my church yet, and is maybe not my church now, but for convenience I'll call it mine for the rest of this) had a baby. She was a girl, and she was not healthy. They named her Sharon. She lived for a few months (I honestly don't remember much of anything from this part of my life), and she was on oxygen for a great deal of her life, if not all--again, I don't remember. Sorry. I only remember (clearly) seeing her once, and it made me very uncomfortable because her name was the same as my Mom and because it's always hard to see babies who aren't healthy, even aside from the grief I was already in. This Sharon has two older brothers. So anyway. Real story: Last-Last summer (as in, '06) my friend Kara drowned, and it was terrible and... uncomfortable. And at her funeral, I was in the... receiving line? To pay my respects to her family, and this family from Story 2 was in line behind me. And one brother asked his dad why we were in a line, and his dad said some answer that I don't remember as poignantly. And then, to illustrate whatever point he had just made, he said, "like at Sherry's funeral," and my blood ran cold and my heart stopped beating and I think I had a panic attack or passed out or went into shock, and my stomach hit the floor so hard it left a crater, because I was trying so desperately not to think about my Mom (and the way human brains work, whenever you think of one sad thing your brain automatically reminds you of every other sad thing ever--I learned this in Ed Psych. It's not the same when you think about happy things or indifferent things. Only sad things and maybe angry things. But I didn't know this for real yet, because I just took Ed Psych last year and this was a year and a half ago. I just knew I was sad and trying not to think about my Mom) and then all of a sudden this man who I was pretty sure didn't know my mom at all was reminding his son about her, and I don't even remember us having a receiving line. It seriously took me the better part of a day to figure out why he was talking about my Mom.... or rather, that he wasn't talking about my Mom at all, but about his baby girl. But I wanted to tell you (the no one reading this) that story because I'm afraid I'll forget it, and for some reason it seems important. |
