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| uh-oh...looks like a two-post day!
I am listening to Paul and Storm (a break off from Divinci's Notebook) and here are some of my favorite commercials they failed at selling.
*When You're done with your Domino's pizza, eat the box because it tastes the same!
*If you wanna turn your daddy parts orange, eat some Cheetos and watch some porn.
*Right hand red, left hand blue, I love to play this game with you; I just hope you can't feel my boner: TWISTER!
*Cats are fun and magical when you can't smell their poop. Fresh Step.
And my favorite:
It's four in the morning, you sneak out of bed, And tiptoe down the stairs.
Go to the kitchen, leave off the light, the Pillsbury cookie dough is waiting there.
Ya you open the door, take the tube in your hand, get the scissors down from the shelf.
Peel back the label, give it a squeeze, your gonna eat the whole thing all by yourself.
There's nothing better than a whole damn tube of raw cookie dough...
Go on and eat it all....
Don't slice it, Don't cook it, Don't serve it, Don't share it...
Go on and eat it all.....
Hide the wrapper at the bottom of the trash and go back up to bed,
Filled with shame and cookie dough....
From Pillsbury.
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| you must not know 'bout me...
Thanks? be to JP the Only for this.
The skinny:
- List 9 random facts/habits about yourself.
- Name 9 people to follow suit.
- Those tagged are to repost their own.
*I watch Saved By The Bell every morning while my dog eats breakfast.
*I think people getting injured/walking into doors/falling down is possibly the funniest thing ever.
*My favorite number used to be 11, now its 9.
*When I lay on the sofa I curl my arm around my head and rest the remote on my forehead and find it ridiculously comfortable.
*I love the movie You've Got Mail.
*My dog is a racist. He only barks at the black postman and not the white one.
*I can't remember the day-to-day happenings of my childhood.
*I hate the person I used to be and have finally learned to love the man I am now.
*I hate sleeping in
*I plan on tagging nine strangers for this. And since this isn't myspace you can't reject my friendship. HA!
BF
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| Max and the VetI got a dog about a two months ago. He is a Dachshund Rott mix. I know....wow! How did that happen. When people ask me I look seriously at them and say, Since the Dachshund was the dad I guess the Rott had to lay on her side or something. I went to the vet this morning because Max has an ear infection. There are several funny instances here that I will share but may come forth as more random thoughts than any look of a story so here come the bullets.
*The last time I was at the vet Max had a scene on my behalf. It was a funny scene though. -Max is long like a Dach but has the coloring of a rott and is about 15lbs.- If he is squirming in my arms I will hold him up with one hand under his front legs and one hand under his back. There are two different things I will do in this situation. One: lift him up and make-believe sacrifice him to the heavens. Two: spin him slowly while declaring "BEST IN SHOW!". I chose the latter while at the vet checkout last time. There was an older couple sitting on the bench waiting for their dog who gave me a wry look. I simply said, "This really helps his self-esteem" and continued calling BEST IN SHOW. The lady who runs the front desk thought it was hilarious.
*Max has an infection in his ears as I mentioned earlier. Funny enough...it's a yeast infection. Apparently this is pretty common in puppies. So when the doctor said this I tried not to laugh because of the story attached to all things yeast related in my head. - When I was in college I dated a girl who I fought with constantly. One day I was sitting on her bed when she said she needed to go by Walgreens because she had a yeast infection. When she said this I said eew. She said, "do you know why girls get yeast infections?" And I unintentionally personalized an attack by saying "Because you're dirty!" Woops. Wrong! Anytime I hear yeast (even if related to bread) I still laugh hearing myself say Because you're dirty.
*So this morning we are at the checkout when the lady (Kyle) asks what was wrong with Max. I said "well, I took him to the kennel this weekend and he came back with a yeast infection. But I guess that's better than an STD right?" She looked at Max and said, "Well little Max, You've got a long way back to Best In Show haven't you?"
I just laughed, paid my ridiculous bill and left.
Max cussed her ass out in the car though. As a good German should.
END
Currently Watching the NFL network.
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| Funny holiday instances:
After my brother in-law and I finished watching the Patriots game Saturday, my mom walked in and asked who won. Mind you my mother knows little to none about sports. She asked if the Colts were in the playoffs and my brother said "yes, they are the #2 seed in the AFC", then asked her if she knew who the #1 seed was? Her reply was, "Oh lets see...Duke?" We all just lost it. We love her still and her lack of sports interest.
Funny instance #2 was when I called my mother to wish her a Happy New Year yesterday. We were recapping our previous evenings when I couldn't believe my ears, My parents spent their New Years Eve playing the wii. Back in 1988 we got our first Nintendo. My mother played a couple games of duck hunt and deemed gaming consoles useless. Apparently 19 years was enough time to give them another shot. She confessed to have a blast.
#3. My brother-in-domestic-partnership's exclamation at eating at Steak-n-Shake.
Oh, and the Ford Family Christmas Train Wreck wasn't too out of hand this year.
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| love: a shocking truthI read through a lot of people's posts on Xanga, and other sites like Postsecret, etc and have come to a shocking realization: love is far from abundant in the eyes of nearly everyone with an electronic voice. It isn't that these people are or aren't hurting. It isn't the lack of self worth or even a pity party for themselves. It is a genuine fear that they will never feel another love them. Not a surface love or parental love, oh no, it is the fear they will never feel the love a peer (soon to adapt a far more serious label) can give them. A love to sweep them off their feet. A love seemingly only created by a novelist or Hollywood. A love they are almost positive as "post-college-singles" not only isn't existent but sure as hell would never find them in their season of single-hood. They weave a cocoon of thoughts, preexisting notions, and lore that say they are for some reason unlovable. I can remember a friend of mine in college saying to me the trick to love was to not find someone who was perfect, just find the one who is perfect for me. Well, that is bull shit. There isn't a "perfect" nor a "perfect for you" person. I will save you that trouble now. I spent way too much time searching for the "one" who was perfect for me. Life is full of decisions, not luck. I didn't luck into a marriage that works. I chose to marry Alicia. Alicia and I are by no means perfect, nor even perfect for each other, but we choose to make our marriage work. I thought the"one" who was perfect for me would be blissful and all daffodils and lemonade and never fight and always be in love. Truth is...the one who is the "one" for you is the one you want to fight with. The one you want to take care of. The one you want adapt with. The one you want to travel with. The one you want to be in love with. And the one you want to love unconditionally. There are no tricks here. We live lives of choices. We chose to be bold and ask out the girl we are fond of or we don't. The torture of love is a result of our metaphoric heart's courage, not our ability to love or be loved. There is no unlovable person. It may sound too easy to be true, but if you think you are unlovable, you are wrong. I am no prophet and do not know when love will find you, but I will say don't wait on love to knock you over when you can be the person sweeping someone else off of their feet.
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