Weblog

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

  • Wow long time no update...mmm lets see 2006 what an interesting year everything was alright. Christmas and the New years sucked. But that was pretty much a given.  Its wierd to say my dad died.  It doesn't feel like it. I hate it. I don't want to talk about it though because I don't know what to really say.  I'm tired of losing people I care about though, hopefully this year will prove to be better.  At least I plan to continue trying the best that I can to make the best happen.  My adopted family lol leave Oregon on Saturday, but i'll flying out there this summer to visit them so beach here I come!!! I'm pretty stoked about that....so mmm nothing else too exciting going on.  O i did submit something I wrote though so i'll  have to see if i get some feedback on that.

    Court

Friday, December 08, 2006

  • So my birthday was alright wow...finally 20!! Kinda insane to be that age. Got my liscense renewed and i can now proudly say im a donor, that was pretty exciting.  Work has been kinda stressfull we have some new people one in particular who doesn't know how to be respectful to the rest of us and thinks he knows it all, gotta love those people.  Anyway....nothing to new. If anyone cares i think i'm just gonna delete this cuz its kinda pointless....

    court

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

  • As I lay here and watch the candle light flicker and bounce off the walls. i'm drawn into the silence of the moment.  It lulls me almost to sleep.  Slowlly the wax drips down the sides of the candles to pool around the wick, some of it even spilled onto my table which brings back a memory I had long forgotten.  I smile and for the first time I feel relaxed almost lazy.  Breathe in, breathe out, just one moment at a time.  Slowly every nerve, muscle and even hairstrand is relaxed, right down to the very bone.  My eyes are silently begging to give in and just close, but my pen still has words to write so they flutter back open.  One more line and I shall give into sleep and far away dreamlands; I forgive you and I'll always love you for who you used to be......

Saturday, October 21, 2006

  • So i've been promising to write on here and I haven't and now i finally actually have the time to do so. This week has been hell. lol. But anyway heres what i got.....

     

    I just watched a minute pass by.  It was almost sad, to just sit there and do absolutely nothing for an ENTIRE minute.  Willing knowing that the same minute was probably the worst minute or maybe even the happiest of someones elses life.  The seconds, minutes, and hours just keep passing me by.  It seems that its the only thing that keeps me sane in this chaotic broken world.  Otherwise I think I would be lost and just live in my memories and dreams.  Which might not be so bad considering how reality is. 

      She looks at it and instantly her stomach recoils and her hand flies to her mouth to try and control herself from throwing up.  She squeezes her eyes shut and prays that she doesn't throw up what she just ate. God how she wishes she could just be happy and normal.  Her eyes fill with fear as another attack hits her just as violently as the first.  Eyes start to turn in her direction, and friends ask if shes alright. She looks around for an escape, finally she spots the restroom and with a laugh and a smile she makes her way from the table and friends. No one can know, because noone understands.  She doesn't even understand it herself.  But she knows that its her secret and hers alone. And thats how she plans to keep it.  She looks up at her image in the mirror and dries that tears that have streaked her pretty face.  She finishes washing up, opens the door and throws on her best smile the one that she is so well known for, and prays to God that no one asks.

     

    ~ read these however you want....but i want everyone to know that these are ideas that i get and write them down

    but opinions on them would be appreciated.

    court

Top Tags - Weblog

[no tags]

BitterSweet2005

  • Visit BitterSweet2005's Xanga Site
    • Name: Court
    • Birthday: 11/22/1986
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 9/23/2004

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

About Me

  • I love to shop, drive around w/my friends, coffee, pool, racin around in my nonracin car, LOUD music, mt.dew, SUBWAY!!!! I love to write and just enjoy everything I can. add me to ur msn.... courtnetmcarlisle@hotmail.com

Pulse

BitterSweet2005 has no pulse!...

Photostrip

[no photos]