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| AngstSo, contrary to popular belief, CCC isn't the only origion of angst. However, I think every girl who has ever gone to CCC, even for just a visit, automatically becomes a lighting rod for angst; an angst rod. Angst blows.I have found that there are precious few ways to deal with angst...and even fewer ways to deal with angsty people. However, if I have learned anything from anime it is how to deal with angsty people. Medication usually doesn't work, but give it a shot first...the angst muffin may just be a part of that small 1% that it does work for. The second option is for the angst muffin to get laid. Getting laid usually helps the angst disappate because noone can be emo and angsty after orgasm...it just isn't possible. The third option, because even after getting laid and being happy for a short period of time, true angst muffins will revert to being angsty again and getting to that post orgasm un-angst gets progressively harder, is to put a bullet between their eyes. I am willing to give the first two options time to be tried, however said angst muffin is having problems coming to grips with the fact that she is an angsty bitch and needs medication. And the biggest problem with option number 2 is that said angsty bitch would prefer my boyfriend to be the source of said lay...which isn't going to happen. EVER. So that leaves option number 3. Now how to do that without getting cought...... | | |
| STUPID FUCKING SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | |
| The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge! Here is how you matched up against all the levels: LevelScore Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low Level 2 (Lustful)Very High Level 3 (Gluttonous)High Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very High Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Low Level 7 (Violent)Very High Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Extreme Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Very High Take the Dante's Inferno Test| Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is... | | | Your Score: | Average For All Users | Average For All
( total) | | | Dating | 7.69% | 34.22% | Gone steady | | Self-Lovin' | 31.82% | 61.37% | When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself | | Shamelessness | 51.61% | 77.61% | It takes a couple of drinks | | Sex Drive | 61.9% | 75.32% | A fool for love, but not always | | Straightness | 18.52% | 39.72% | Knows the other body type like a map | | Gayness | 53.7% | 78.77% | Had that experience at camp | | Dominant | 58.33% | 87.07% | Not afraid to tie the knot | | Submissive | 80.95% | 87.46% | Submits to no one... almost | | Fucking Sick | 85.71% | 90.09% | Refreshingly normal | | Total Score | 55.32% | 74.1% | | Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0
and see how you match up!
(By The Ferrett) |
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| So alot has been going on recently in my life. Lots of random shit that makes life life. Lets see....where to start.....umm....Sean and I broke up. In December...well January...well....long story we were over it just took about a month for it to sink in with some people. And in December I started dating Ryan Majkowski. I've known him for what seems like forever....since frishman year of h.s. when I started taking piano lessons. He was better than me then and continues to be far better than me now on it. Not that I mind....I adore listening to him play. (Don't mind me...this is gonna be a very very random and rambly entry.) It is a little odd dating Ryan....for once I am the older party in the relationship. Also...I'm his first girlfriend and he is obviously not my first. There are times I feel like I am and old tarnished hag and that I shouldn't be with him because of it. IDK.....I'm actually insecure in this relationship because of some things......and mostly I think that insecurity is because if I loose him now.....I think my world really would fall apart. He was the superglue that held me together last semester when there were issues with everything. Issues with work, stress, friends, family, roomates, boyfriends, everything and its brother came up last semester to bite me in the arse. He was there for me through it all and I could rely on him to help me through it. He was a true godsend last semester. Things changed pretty rapidly though....i went from telling him to find a gf at school to going into "Jealous Bitch Mode" when he mentioned one particular girl. It was like he was describing my clone and I couldn't stand it. It took me a while to realize that I had fallen for him hard. I jsut didn't know how to go about it. I mean......how could I be such a hipocrate about Kari and Jason and then go and do the same kinda thing to Sean for Ryan. I truely hated myself last semester. And I hated what I was becoming and what I was doing to other people. He cared and was there for me when I didn't want to be tehre for me.....he made me. It was wonderful. So yeah....now we are dating. And I'm happy again. I actually don't dread getting up in the morning now like I did last semester and I can actually fall asleep. Last semester I had insomnia from all the shit that was piling up and how much I disliked myself. It just over all wasn't a fun time of my life.....let's not push replay. I like where I am now. Though schoolwork still blows....I don't have nearly half the stress I did last semseter. It is really a huge improvement. (BTW....if you are reading this.....which I actually doubt b/c noone reads Xanga anymore, don't worry about last semester and if you were part of the problem or wish you could have been there to help me through it.....it is over and done now and I'm not looking back. so there. ::sticks out tounge at last semester and blows a raspberry at it.::) (On another BTW.....I know there are spelling and grammar mistakes in like very sentence here.....and I noticed them too.....I jsut don't care enough to change and correct them. ::Blows another raspberry:: Yes I am acting like a 4 year old today.) But yeah.....that's the deal with my love life....I have one. Not a relationship with a phone and a letter......there is an actual person that I can actually go and see once in a while....and I don't mean once every 7 months.....I mean like once a week if I have the gas money. Yes...he isn't aprticullary close....but he isn't 12 hours away either. His dad's house is in Woodbridge NJ....so that isn't bad from home...or from school....his mom's house is in PA....about an hour and a half from school.....and pretty much all on one road so that makes it nice......and his school is in Baltimore (Johns Hopkins) and that is 2.5 hours away....but that is a really easy drive...(after the first trip where the directions get you confuzzled about half way there....if you were with me for the Vanity Fair Outlets Shopping Trip.....I got confuzzled and turned around in the same area we were in for that excursion).....I have done the drive to Baltimore a few times now and if traffic isn't stupid on 222 then it is really a very nice relaxing trip with amost no turns ( and once the initial confuzzling is figured out) no tricky parts. You follow 222 to 30 to 86 to Johns Hopkins....it really couldn't be any easier. But yeah....so this relationship has a boy at the other end.....not a phone call or a piece of paper. This relationship status and development makes Breanna very happy. I mean....ther are issues with our relationship....there is this girl at his school who he used to like who is actually very similar to me in tastes and personality quirks and she is one very big issue b/c if I hadn't started dating Ryan.....they would have been together. She hates my guts for it....I can't say I blame her....I think I would too if I were in her place. And she kinda hates Ryan for it too b/c of placing her in a position with such expectations and then letting it crash around her. And he still wants to be friends with her....which I encourage, but I don't know how well this will all work out in the end. The biggest concern I have is that she will end up hating him and he will lose her as a friend and then he will blame me for it all and end up hating me. I used to worry that me being here at CCC and him at JH would be a problem especially with her, my clone, there and so close and so tempting. I've come to realize that isn't going to be the problem....so my mind found the next best possibility for disaster....go figure. I hate the way I think sometimes, but I really can't change it so I'll jsut have to deal with it. Ryan listens to my worries and my bitch sessions and actually listens and comforts me and takes ti to heart and deos waht he can to ease my silly little mind. It really is a wonderful relationship. Thinking about everything i have jsut been writing....I must seem like some gloominus doom over here. Really I'm not. And nothing is as bad as I can make it sound in writting....well....maybe last semester was....but I sure put on a good front and next to noone noticed. Not even when the mast would start to crack in front of them.....yeah....last semsters sucked.....but enough of that.....Breanna is happy now.....and yes....Breanna knows she is talking about herself if third person. It is more fun that way. Where was I? Not that it really matters....this is all jsut one long ramble anyway. Sean and I are still talking......the funny yhing......we talk better now about things then we did for like the past year.....Maybe Mom was right when she said we were better off as best friends and shouldn't date. Maybe the old girl knows something I don't. But if I think that way....maybe Ryan's Dad knows something too and his comments about us will be right since I am the "Older more experienced girl and the first ever girlfriend." Ohhh well. I am gonna enjoy this while I can and be happy while doing it. Let's see......what esle is up.....ummm....oh yes......Spring Break is coming up soon.......I really don't want to go home for it.....and when I mentioned that I might not go home for it.....Momma got a bit angry. I mean.....look at it from my point of view........freshman year.....Momma had surgery over spring break and my entire break was spent nursing her.....not my idea of a break.....sophmor year I spent spring break at the wake, funeral, and burrial of a 5 year old, Sean's nefew. I don't want to even think about what news I'll get if I go home this semester. That Sean was killed in Iraq since he is going back over? That my parents died in a car crash? That my house burns down? You know....what could possibly happen this year? I can think of quite a few possible things....none of which I like the looks of. I would rather be at school anyway....no one will be here...or at least very few people......I could get hours in at student observation, I could get papers written so I wouldn't have to worry about it....I could work at work study and make money (ok...so not as much as I could make while home at Value City....but enough) and if I wanted to.....I could go and spend a day or two with Ryan at JH. His break and mine don't overlap....his is the week after....so actually they do....but jsut the one weekend between our breaks. He probabally won't be able ot spend time during his break with me b/c his dad will want ot see him and his mom will want him home and that means 3 or 4 days at each home and none at CCC with Breanna. So during my break sounds nice to me. I swear I can get work done at his school......while he is working......I know I can get stuff done....I'm sure of it. Oh well......this is something taht needs to be discussed with Momma at greater length. Though I have to go home for at least part of my break......Dana's Sweet Sixteen is the first weekend of my break....and of course I have to go to that. Well.......I think I have rambled for far long enough now and I will get back to pretending to be productive. | | |
| | Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is... | | | Your Score: | Average For All Users | Average For All Sluttily Opportunistic Human Shacking Up Pink-Skinned 17 to 23-Year old Females
(87 total) | | | Dating | 23.08% | 34.27% | 19.01% | Gone steady | | Self-Lovin' | 43.94% | 61.48% | 49.02% | When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself | | Shamelessness | 66.13% | 77.72% | 60.27% | It takes a couple of drinks | | Sex Drive | 76.19% | 75.48% | 56.68% | Monks are envious | | Straightness | 14.81% | 39.96% | 15.18% | Knows the other body type like a map | | Gayness | 68.52% | 78.96% | 57.45% | Had that experience at camp | | Dominant | 63.33% | 87.19% | 76.92% | Not afraid to tie the knot | | Submissive | 87.3% | 87.58% | 73.02% | Submits to no one... almost | | Fucking Sick | 86.73% | 90.15% | 80.25% | Refreshingly normal | | Total Score | 63.12% | 74.23% | 58.84% | | Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0
and see how you match up!
(By The Ferrett) |
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