wow...Im here, on xanga...and it hurts to do so so much it brings tears... and yet, here i am ... writing it out for the whole world to know, juss like they have known every other fuked up shit I have written about... despite facebook and myspace...xanga has been the place where i have let it all out in... and me being me...I have not only turned to the page that brings tears to my eyes... but i have relived my whole high school life all over again juss by reading everything i've written.. and I've realized theres still demons i have not conquered...wounds that havent healed despite everything i have done to try to get back on my own... I've set myself to looking forward...and never looking back...yet me being me...I have to take that peek and do so...because the past will haunt always no matter how much you try to avoid it. Christmas eve...and it doesnt even feel like it...I was in Mexico last year...and the year i finally have my own place...i come back to my parents home to be taken care of becuase i had to...and im at home ALONE becuase i refuse to have to deal with people pretend to give a shit about me... you kno...this all happend because I got frustrated; i lost my License and debit card last night and no one gave a shit...Im freaking out because those are things that i live off of...and all they care about is getting to the dinner on time along with all the material shit they are going to give them...so i stayed behind...I rather be by myself...crying becuase im retarded reading sht that makes me sad and depressed...fighting shit i kno im not ready to face...sitting on my ass knowing it still hurts from the surgery...and relaising what a fuked up person i am... im done for tonight... its juss me and my-hurt-self again | 
