Currently Listening The College Dropout By Kanye West 'All Falls Down' see related

Just so you know, I'm gonna make the same amount of effort that you do to be your friend. I'm not going to go out of my way to get you to say hi to me anymore, I'm not gonna chase you around to make sure that you're gonna do the shit that you're supposed to be doing. 'Cause it's like that. I'm not gonna deal with your bullshit anymore. I'm worth more than that. I'm worth having friends that actually give a shit about me. Not some two faced lying bitch. I don't need that. If you're gonna be like that, then I really don't need you.

In other news. I cannot believe that I tricked myself into thinking that I could live without her. She's the original her. I've never been so in love. I need to work on getting better. I don't want to trigger her, but I want to be with her so bad. 13 years is a long time to have to fix, but it has to be down. This disease can kill me, but even worse, it's effects have the possibility of her leaving me.

and that's the scariest thing to me. 

Currently Listening Knuckle Down By Ani DiFranco 'Callous' see related

Sooo, yeah.

Fuck you.

[Shes still my everything.]

Currently Listening Thirteenth Step By A Perfect Circle 'The Nurse Who Loved Me' see related

So. I've been kinda up and down.

I don't know how to play the girlfriend role, when I'm not the girlfriend.
I don't want to have to stop my life when it really isn't up to me anymore.
I don't want to be a dick...I do care about her, but yeah.
It's my turn.

I can't be dealing with someone elses shit, when I have to deal with my own.
That I won't apologize for.

I've spent too long putting myself second, and it landed me in places I never wanted to be.
I have to come first now.

So, I will.

Other than that. Homecoming is saturday. I don't know whats going on with Coalition's float. If we have a float. We may be walking. Which would blow. Umm, I don't have a date, and I doubt I'll get one. I don't really care about that, but I don't really care about asking someone, either. Wait for it, I have my reasons. 1. I don't know who I would ask.  2. I've pretty much asked everyone I've gone to a school dance/banquet thing with. It's my senior year, and I want to be the girl. So I'm not asking anyone unless she's the kind of girl that stops me dead. Or whatever other situation I think works. I'm not worried about it.

This girl is making me antsy.

Oh and to you. The one that I've been bitching about. I'm thisclose to being done, so uh, good luck with that.

Hooooolllllllyyyyy shit.

and that's all I gotta say.

Currently Listening Tidal By Fiona Apple 'Carrion' see related

I swear to God. It's gotta be something in the air.

Everyone is breaking up.

Maybe it's fall. A kind of looking to what we ourselves need. Everything is growing cold, dying. I guess we don't want to fade like that, but to stand like an evergreen, strong and bright against the barren. To have the strength to be on our own.

Then again, maybe I'm just crazy.