Rescue me from my solitude.

"The Good Left Undone"

Rise Against

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding now what I’ve been missing,

But I know…
So I tell myself, I tell myself it’s wrong.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it can live. I walked away now.

But I know…
Not a day goes by that I don’t feel it’s burn.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long,
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

All because of you…
All because of you…

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

You know how that is?

Currently Watching The Little Mermaid - Based on Hans Christian Andersen's Classic Tale (UAV Corporation) By Little Mermaid see related

So I was bored tonight and watched the old old anime version of the little mermaid where Marina (the little mermaid) dies in the end because her prince gives his love to another. I got angry with this and decided to watch the "our time original" version with Ariel and Flounder where she and the prince marry at the end and it's all happy.

So far I've watched about 15 mins of the movie and thought that King Triton reminds me so much of my own father... sad.. but true (hehe that's a movie quote). He has a short temper and is over protective... and he looks a lot like my dad as well. Oh my gosh Disney created the epitome of my own father.. how scary is that. Well... it's late and I'm going to stop my movie.. and go to bed... I can finish it tomorrow during breakfast.

oh.. and Disney does a poor job of making Ariel look and act 16... there's just no way she is...

I talked to Zack today on the phone.. it's so good to hear from him again.. haha we send pictures to eachother too. It's great seeing him as well.. just sucks that he never smiles for his pictures... He looks quite different. Apparently he had feelings for me again while he was in basic and I asked him about it.. but he doesn't want to act on it because he's afraid that he just felt that way because he was away.. we'll whatever he feels, as long as he's happy I'm happy and that will never change. I just can't wait to have him home again so we can all hang out like old times. Those were great.

Currently Listening The Sufferer & the Witness By Rise Against see related

"You're just another one of the guys, Koste."

This seems to be a common quote I hear often these days in the different groups I'm in. It's kind of interesting because I've gotten the acceptance I wanted and I don't have to dress or truely act like a guy. I still dress nicely, style my hair, and wear make-up/fragrances. I certainly don't try to hide the girlish figure I have been graced with. I pretty much only have guy friends these days. I only escape into the world of having "gal-pals" when I'm around Brianna or meet up with a girl I've known in the past. I'm more comfortable around guys; they generally are more laid back and uncaring and are able to have more fun.. in my opinion. Atleast the guys I hang out with are that way. I can take a beating and give one back, and I'm sure that gives me respect. I'm also able to take guy-sarcasm and just laugh it off, they generally aren't serious and a lot of the things they say are pretty funny. The only thing I hope is that this doesn't ruin my "dating in the future" plans. I don't want a guys excuse to be "You're just too much one of the guys, it would be weird." I don't really see that happening though because I can be girly. I can shut off "guy mode" haha. If such a mode ever existed. We shall see in due time.

"Ready To Fall"

Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything
I know I've been gone for what seems like forever
But I'm here now waiting
To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger
But closer than you think
She said, "just go on to what you
Pretend is your life but
Please don't die on me"

Wings won't take me
Heights don't phase me
So take a step
But don't look down
Take a step

Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

Perpetual motion the image won't focus
A blur is all that's seen
But here in this moment like the eye of the storm
It all came clear to me
I found a shoulder to lean on
An infallible reason to live all by itself
I took one last look from the heights that I once loved
And then I ran like hell

Wings won't take me
Heights don't phase me
So take a step
But don't look down
Take a step

Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

I count the times that I've been sorry
I know, I know
Now my compassion slowly drowns
I know, I know
If there's a time these walls could guard you
I know, I know
Then let that time be right now

Now I'm standing on the rooftop
Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall
I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall

Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on the rooftop (ready to fall)
Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall