| Hello. Well, since my last update I have become single. No, seriously. I thought we could take a break and make it work but then I was lied to. So that was pretty much bullshit. But I can make it. I wasn't going to move on, but merely take a short break from my love. But since he has already found someone (all fucking ready), I do not want to be with him. But I do wish him the best of luck. I'm not even mad, but just kind of shattered. A piece of him will always remain with me. After all, he was my first at everything, we've known each other for over 4 years and dating a majority of that time, and we almost had a child together, but we had to go through the pain of losing that. It's so hard to lose 2 things you love, but I'm strong so I know I can do it. On another note, I think I've found someone to help me get through this tough time and he's really helped me out alot. He understands my love for Eric and isn't trying to rush me in any way. But I'm still not sure of what I want. I don't think I could be with another guy for a while. It's funny, I dated Eric, then a girl name Ashley, then Eric, so I guess it's time for female. It helped me before so why wouldn't it help me now? I don't know. I'm just so confused and I wish I knew how Eric feels about me. He still tells me he loves me and that he wants to be with me but it's so hard to be with him. I love him with all of my heart but I don't love the way he is sometimes. ::shrug:: It seems like no matter what I do, someone gets hurt...
*Edit* Okay, it's my fault, I broke up with you but it was your job to keep us together, just like you promised. I know I'm a psycho bitch that needs medication but you already knew that from the beginning. That was a joke but you probably think of that statement as serious. I love you and I feel like I need you. I do want to marry you one day but we both have alot to change. Call me or stop by sometime. Don't ever forget the best and worst of times we did have. You showed me who I am inside and how much I need to change. I couldn't have been any happier this past year with anyone else. I feel like I want to leave this place right now but I'm not sure so I'll just wait. Just remember that I'm here for you whether or not you find someone else.
(pee-ess) You just can't tell her you love her, you promised.
you know, forever and always.<3 |
