Boys are stupid.  Yes, yes.  I'm being bitchy.  And sexist.  And blah blah blah.  *blinks*  Where was I?  Ah, stupid boys.

Logically, I know that not all boys are confusing, or frustrating, or more insane than a whole mental institution.  However, I don't know any of those boys.  If I do, they're all either gay or married--in the latter case, yay for their wives for finding a good one.  We should all be so lucky.

There seems to be a shortage of men who are not...heaps of chisled chaos.  You see, it never frakkin' fails, that I am attracted to the guy who is far from perfect, does the wrong thing in a way that kicks the shit out of my heart, and who has a tough time saying he's sorry.  I don't fall for the nice boy who pays attention to me, or the sweet guy who I had classes with.  No, that would be too easy.  That would certainly make my mother happy.  Instead, I get bored with that type of guy.  Because I'm my own, masochistic worst enemy.  There should be some sort of support group for this.

And somewhere, god, She is laughing at me.  And then she's contemplating her next album.  Isn't it Ironic?  Yeah.  Don't ya think?  *breathes* 

(I got this inspiration for this from several places.  One source was Xinergy's post.  To quote her, "Men are just boys in suits."  Amen.)

• Homophones.  Now, you may be looking at that word, with your head cocked to one side.  You may not even recognize it.  Suddenly, you sound like the dad in A Christmas Story, pronouncing 'fragile.'  Let me clarify: a homophone is a word that sounds like another word, but it isn't.  Example: wear and where.  See?  They sound the same, but they are not.  Consequently, please learn the difference between the following:
  • to, two, and too
  • hear and here
  • knew and new
  • accept and except (no, these are not interchangeable)
  • add and ad
  • peace and piece
  • than and then
  • there and their (Initially, part of there/their was deleted.  I fixed it.)

...and there are many, many more, but I fear that I've already short-circuited a few brains.  Moving on...

• The phrase is not "I could care less."  Why?  Because that implies that you, in fact, could care less than you presently do.  Instead, say, "I couldn't care less." 
• "Unbeknowingly" is NOT a word.  Unfortunately, it appears to be "unbeknownst" and "knowingly" shoved together.  
• Just, because, you, you know, throw commas in a sentence does not mean, you know how to use them.  (The meaning of this should be obvious.)
• Conversely if you are missing an important thing like commas everything becomes confusing and no one wants to read a run-on sentence.
• "Your” and “you’re” do not mean the same thing.  "Your" signifies ownership (it is a possessive pronoun).  Example: Is that your car?  "You're" is a contraction for "you are."  Example: You're very interesting.
• You know, while we are at it, “its” and “it’s” convey a different meaning, too.  "Its" is possessive.  "It's" means "it is" or "it has."
• It isn't "alot."  It's "a lot."  Unless you actually mean "allot," which scares me, quite frankly.
• Stop trying to make a time period possessive, or a strange contraction.  Writing "1990's" is wrong.  It's "1990s."  It indicates a span of time. 
• An independent clause can stand on its own; it's a complete sentence.  Example: Grammar is your friend. 
• A dependent clause is--you guessed it--dependent.  Thus, it cannot stand on its own.  Example (dependent is underlined): When I went to the pharmacy, I didn't buy any Tylenol.  You cannot walk up to someone and say, "When I went to the pharmacy."  It doesn't make sense.  Therefore, it's a dependent clause; it depends on the independent clause for clarification and meaning.
• You cannot separate two independent clauses using only a comma.  I know you think you can, but you can't.  Use a semicolon--or a comma with a coordinating conjunction.  Incorrect example: I went to the pharmacy, I didn't buy any Tylenol.  Correct example: I went to the pharmacy, but I didn't buy Tylenol.  Or: I went to the pharmacy; I didn't buy Tylenol.
• Than is used for comparisons.  Example: Coffee is better than tea.  Then has more than one meaning.  It can describe a point in time (I'll talk to you then), something that happens next (Have a cup of coffee, and then we'll eat cheesecake), in addition (There's reason, and then there's accountability), and in a specific case (If you want food, then you should go to the store).

Nothing good EVER comes after that statement.  It’s a cosmic rule.  It’s right up there with the one day you straighten your hair—only to have the humidity be 100%, and it starts to rain the second you walk out the door.

As I said, that statement leads to uncomfortable things, usually.  Because people get defensive, or awkward, or tell you things you don’t really want to hear.  In which case, the human reaction is to ignore what they’re saying, tell them to bugger off, and place the blame squarely on their shoulders—because, let’s face it—it’s their problem.

And who hasn’t been there?  When the person sitting across from you says “we need to talk,"  several things happen.  Your heart starts to race, you roll your eyes, and you start looking for the exit, while you fake an “emergency” call on your cell phone, even though it didn’t ring.  It’s on silent.  Duh.

But what do you do when you really have things to talk about?  How do you address something that’s been on your mind?  Chances are, if you’re like me, you just wait.  And wait.  And then you basically word-vomit it all up, in a frenetic explanation, a siege of genuine statements and questions, which are bundled in such a heap that you’re finished almost as soon as you began (NEVER a good thing).  If I’m lucky, the person I’m talking to can keep up.  If not…it's best to start over, using very small words.  And pictures.  Lots of pictures.  (Not that I know anyone like that.  It’s more of a public service announcement.)

I was reading a post, this morning, about people changing.  And I’ve always found that particular epidemic odd, as if I just turned my back, and (suddenly) someone has become someone else.  I start wondering if I missed the memo, other than the one about the TPS reports.  (Consequently, have you seen my stapler?)  I could list about twenty people, off the top of my head, who has succumbed to that particular rabid happenstance.

Maybe your boyfriend just starts to hang out with a different crowd.  Or your friend starts talking to her old college roommate, who was never a good influence, anyway.  The truth is, generally, people’s behaviors tend to be influenced by those we surround ourselves the most.  It’s human nature, to an extent—and to a greater extent, it’s peer pressure and a personality that’s easily manipulated.  Sure, we’ve all been in spots where we’ve just gone with the flow.  But what do you do when the flow has carried you off?

Honestly, I’ve lost a lot of good people to change (no, not menopause).  There was my oldest (best) friend, who I don’t really speak to anymore.  And that sucks.  But like Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, all we have in common is our past.  And that’s really not a good basis for a friendship.  In my opinion, we took totally different paths.  She joined a sorority, upon beginning college.  I ran in the other direction of the Greek letters.  The last thing I wanted was to spend my time with Elle Woods.  And she just became someone I didn’t recognize. 

Then there’s the girl who was my good friend during high school.  She went off to college, promising to come home for my birthday (there were other circumstances and broken promises).  She was only an hour away (hell, I commuted an hour to and from college; it’s no big deal).  The week of my birthday came, and she told me that she couldn’t come home.  And then she told me how she spent all of the previous weekend celebrating her roommate’s birthday.  She took her to a spa, and they did a bunch of other things.  She had time for that, for someone she'd known a month, but not for me.  And that really was a statement about our entire relationship.  She had time for me when it suited her, when she needed something.  After one huge debacle of me trying to explain my feelings to her, things went to shit, faster than if you put baking soda and vinegar in an easy-bake oven.  She blamed me, and it was an ugly, ugly, horrific, terrible, no-good mess…and the rest, as they say, is frakkin’ ridiculous.  Er, it’s history.

My point?  I think I just realized that I have a real apprehension about people.  Yes, I trust.  And I trust when I shouldn’t.  I have an uncanny ability to believe in people, when a more sane person would be running in the opposite direction.  I do treat people the way I’d like to be treated, giving them the benefit of the doubt.  But, over the years, people have let me down.  A lot.  In crazy ways.  In ways I could never anticipate.  And, sure, there have been people who’ve stood their ground and the test of time…but, if I could be cynical for a moment…what if those people change?  What if it’s inevitable? 

*breathes*  Okay, pessimism done.  Look, I know that people change.  And growing is part of life.  If you’re not growing as a person, you’re doing something seriously wrong.  But there’s a difference between personal growth and turning in Mr. Hyde.  Sure, you still might resemble Dr. Jekyll, but looks aren’t everything, if you catch my drift.  Actions are important.  Choices are important. 

So, what is an instance where a friend, or significant other, changed?  Their behavior became different, or their personality went in a strange direction.  What was the cause?  Did you survive it?  Did you talk about it?