I've had this thing almost ready to post since December, right after I saw "Beowulf" (or was it "I Am Legend?").
So, for those of you that care, here is my review:
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'Tis time for an update, so update I shall. Today's report comes in the form of REVIEWS! w00t.
"Empire," by Orson Scott Card
Rating: 3.5/5 walking suicide tanks
Synopsis (spoilers): Former SpecOps trooper is framed for collaborating with terrorists to kill the President (and VP, and SecDef, and some other guys who happened to be in the same room) and start a civil war between red states and blue states. Eco-freak is behind the conspiracy. Eco-freak builds army and takes over Manhattan with mechs, EMP superlaser, and Legions of Terror(tm). Former SpecOps soldier dies about halfway through. New subordinate (the main character, incidentally) takes over the investigation and arrests Super Eco-Terr'ist.
I don't have the time to write a full editorial-style, newspaper-worthy review, so I'll have to leave you with the synopsis and that I disagree with Card's Mormon-influenced steadfast Republicanism and staunch support of the War of Terror (which I find interesting, because the whole plot was planned and launched inside the US, despite the fact that the Blues deny killing POTUS).
"Beowulf," by LionsGate Films
Rating: 4.5/5 dragon hearts
Synopsis: Denmark is plagued by Grendel, a montrous 12-foot aquatic troll who comes whenever there's a party and kills lots of people, then goes home to mommy (played by a naked CG version of Angelina Jolie) to cry about being hurt and all the noise. Beowulf hears of King Hrothgar's plight and brings a platoon of lusty Geats to kill Grendel. Grendel shows up, Beowulf fights him (naked, incidentally), rips out his ear, tears off his arm, and lets him go home, where Grendel promptly dies. Beowulf is sent to kill Grendel's mother, where he's tempted to have sex with her. Hrothgar throws himself off the tower after crowning Beowulf king of Denmark. It's revealed that Hrothgar had been in the same situation, and that Grendel had been the product. Beowulf goes on to be a merciful and relatively good king when, thirty years later, the contract with Grendel's mother that made him a rich king (or king at all) was broken and a dragon comes flying out of the mountain, bringing all the fire Hell can muster. Beowulf kills the dragon, but dies in the process.
(I'll use Plugged In's format for the actual review)
Positive content: The message clearly broadcasted is that your sin will find you out, sometimes in catastrophic ways. Beowulf's conjugal relations with Grendel's mother ruins his relationship with his queen. In other scenes, Beowulf is shown granting mercy to an invader who has come only to kill Beowulf. Beowulf sacrifices his arm (and his life) to save his wife (and concubine, but more on that in a sec) from his montrous son. Excessive drinking brings monsters to kill you.
Spiritual content: It's hinted that Christianity has been forcing the demons to leave this plane of existance, as well as hinting that rejection of Him leads to continued demonic abuse. One of the slimier characters becomes a priest and lives a quiet, peaceful life after serving Hrothgar.
Sexual content: 6th-century Denmark. Virtually no Christianity. This means a lot of sex between Geats and Danish girls, most all of it implied, thank God. I'd like'd of done something grotesque with me eyes if that had happened. Grendel's mother and Beowulf 'enjoy' extramarital conjugal relations. Forunately, it only shows the two embrace, then cuts to another scene.
Eh. I don't feel like adding more, but I do feel sort of sick. Sinuses strike me as more useless than appendices, but there's nothing to be done but grin and bear it.
In the meantime, I've been working on some songs. Haven't put lyrics to one or two and haven't put music to others (one's an incomplete instrumental). I'll get to it eventually.
I'll probably be joining Josh C[ohalun] and another in a band this summer, Lord willing and time be forgiving.
Obama blew his nose! Isn't that freaking awesome?! I totaly love the guy! If I were a woman, I'd steal him from his wife, kill everybody on earth, and then repopulate it with Obama-babies! Because that sneeze totally converted me!
Seriously, though, he got an applause for blowing his nose. Personality cult much?
Nevermind the fact that the Constitution has never played a part in his rhetoric, policy-making, or legislating. Nevermind the fact that he's a socialist in all but name. Nevermind that he's about as antiwar as McCain. Vote for change!
I think I don't like Obama very much.
Another thing: McCain and Huckabee are just as much in the tax-and-spend socialist camp as Obama and Hillary. They're lying to you. Add to the fact that a draft if inevitable if any of these Obam-inations get in the White House, and welcome to Amerika. Mind your step, Comrade.
Currently Listening One X By Three Days Grace Animal I Have Become see related
I'm thinking about dramatically altering my site. Thoughts?
To Miss A[lnord]: The reason I leave footprints without commenting is that commenting on your site is an extreme hassle for me. I have to change web browsers, log in to Xanga again, navigate to your site, and comment. It's agitating and it depends on your layout. The last one was good. The current one is buggering my browser.
Also, Xanga needs to improve compatibility with Opera. IE is not the only browser out there! Firefox and Opera and all the other Open Source browsers need you to conform to the standards! Just going with what Explorer puts up with isn't good programming practice. Sure, most every browser puts up with some rules-bending, so you can do it, but only to a certain extent. The fact that some of your layouts don't work with Opera (which is gaining market share) is unacceptable.
Some of you have probably heard about Ron Paul's alleged racism.
I'm sad to say that it's true, and here's the evidence.
Sean Hannity's a moron. A socio-fascist moron with no clue as to how the world works. He berates interviewees he disagres with, sucks up to certain candidates and ignores others, then, after behaving most barbarically, expects the supporters of those he berates to treat him with respect! Meanwhile, his screeners try to only allow people who worship him as a god onto the show and his already-inflated ego to go up like a weather balloon. "Sean Hannity the Great American." My muscular butt he is.
"Fair and Balanced(tm)" indeed. Pundits and shills poorly disguised as journalists.
Anyway, this is absolutely hilarious and veritably true. Perhaps another neocon Presidency will rectify this situation. I mean, after the dollar goes down the crapper, there really won't be much for Americans to do but shoot each other and barely survive while the developed world sends supplies at artificially low prices and sends local farmers bankrupt. w00t!
You scored as Dragon. Dragon: Now talk about a legend. These magnificent creatures are of many species. Some can be as large as the Earth itself, while others are as small as a mouse. One image that comes to everyone's mind is the large, fire breathing Dragons that loathed humans and loved to sleep on massive piles of gold. Not all dragons have a bad reputation. Most dragons are very wise, caring, and protective. It would make a person very lucky indeed to meet a dragon. Especially if they walked away untouched. I admire your wisdom, for you are the Ancient Dragon.
