Well, we'll see if anybody still reads this thing.  Last week I returned from England.  The trip was...mixed.  The high points were, if not spectacular, than high enough, but the low points were absolutely wretched.  I am abandoned by a "friend" from Hillsdale on a semesterly basis, so I really ought to have expected it in Oxford.  Casting a friend to the roadside to die a slow, painful social death - in a foreign country no less - is not cool, not cool at all .  To top it off, I realized that I could have taken four two-week tropical cruises for the cost of Oxford.  I could have been treated like royalty in the Caribbean instead of like shit in Oxford.  In retrospect, I got the short end of an enormously expensive stick.  Anyhow, in such a bitter state of mind as consumed me at Oxford I have learned, from hard experience, that it is best not to write here at all, so I took a two-month haitus.

Since I have returned to the Great Northwest, I have had a dandy time .  I am plowing through David McCullough's Truman, a long though excellent read.  Last weekend I went to Davis' and Yale Reservoir, where I became addicted to jetskis.  I reached 54 mph, oh yeah .  Ah, good times, good times.  Yesterday I went out shooting with some magnificent guns.  It is a travesty that most cartridges are fifty cents apiece these days.  Ouch .  This weekend I am going up to the cabin, which will also make for good times.  Next week I start work through a temp agency for a month.  We'll see how that goes.  Well, that's all for now.  Kudos to anyone who still reads this.

Yes, believe it or not, I am still alive, just in a bit of a funk.  Until I can conjure up a pithy post, here is an old classic shamelessly ripped from Sean.  Enjoy...

BOSTON, April 20 - National Guard units seeking to confiscate a cache of recently banned assault weapons were ambushed on April 19th by elements of a para-military extremist faction. Military and law enforcement sources estimated that 72 were killed and more than 20 injured before government forces were compelled to withdraw.

Speaking after the clash, Massachusetts Governor Thomas Gage declared that the extremist faction, which was made up of local citizens, has links to the radical right-wing tax protest movement. Gage blamed the extremists for recent incidents of vandalism directed against internal revenue offices.

The governor, who described the group's organizers as "criminals," issued an executive order authorizing the summary arrest of any individual who has interfered with the government's efforts to secure law and order.

The military raid on the extremist arsenal followed wide-spread refusal by the local citizenry to turn over recently outlawed assault weapons. Gage issued a ban on military-style assault weapons and ammunition earlier in the week. This decision followed a meeting in early April between government and military leaders at which the governor authorized the forcible confiscation of illegal arms. One government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, pointed out that "none of these people would have been killed had the extremists obeyed the law and turned their weapons over voluntarily."

"Government troops initially succeeded in confiscating a large supply of outlawed weapons and ammunition. However, troops attempting to seize arms and ammunition in Lexington met with resistance from heavily-armed extremists who had been tipped off regarding the government's plans.

During a tense standoff in Lexington's town park, National Guard Colonel Francis Smith, commander of the government operation, ordered the armed group to surrender and return to their homes. The impasse was broken by a single shot, which was reportedly fired by one of the right-wing extremists. Eight civilians were killed in the ensuing exchange.

Ironically, the local citizenry blamed government forces rather than the extremists for the civilian deaths. Before order could be restored, armed citizens from surrounding areas had descended upon the guard units. Colonel Smith, finding his forces overmatched by the armed mob, ordered a retreat.

Governor Gage has called upon citizens to support the state/national joint task force in its effort to restore law and order. The governor has also demanded the surrender of those responsible for planning and leading the attack against the government troops. Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and John Hancock, who have been identified as "ringleaders" of the extremist faction, remain at large.

Last night I saw a naked gay man.

I also met my first Hasidic Jew.  I now know why affirmative action was first used to keep Jews from overwhelming Ivy League colleges.  They learn far more in high school than I will ever know by the end of college and probably for a good many years hence.  Simply astonishing.  If I was not a Christian, I'd be a Jew.

Alright, you are probably looking for an explanation of the naked gay guy.  This was not just any old naked gay man, it was none other than Sir Ian McKellan (better known as Gandalf in Lord of the Rings and Magneto in X-Men) in the role of King Lear at Stratford-upon-Avon.  Betrayed by two of his daughters, the distraught king disrobes in his grief.  You can get away with anything in the name of Shakespeare.

I suppose the second England Update is long overdue, so here we go.  Oxford is a lot better than London, more of a small university town feel.

I was inducted into New College, whose name belays the fact that it was founded in the thirteenth century.  It is, by all accounts, one of the five best colleges of the thirty-nine colleges of Oxford University.  Founded by William of Wykeham, bishop of Winchester, the college reflects its religious origins (as do all in Oxford) in the spacious chapel.  Built like a fortress around a grassy square, the architecture reflects the passing of the ages.  Nothing is symmetrical, and you can easily note the various additions to the edifice over the centuries.  The college sits astride the only remaining portion of the city wall and is responsible for its upkeep.  But why, incidentally, do you suppose the individual colleges were sealed if the town was surrounded by a thick, stout wall?  The real threat to peace was not from without but from within.  After several bloody massacres of students and townies, the colleges were constructed as fortresses to keep the students in and the townies out.  And you thought our local relations were bad.  New College showcases El Greco's painting of St. James and Epsteins sculpture of Lazarus, but I'm sure more of you are familiar with the College as a set for the Harry Potter movies.  At one point, in the Bodleian Library, I apparently sat on the spot of Harry's bed, if that means anything to any of you.

As for academics, I am studying the British Empire in the Second World War with the eminent (and elderly) historian Dr. Michael Hurst.  Unlike the American lecture style, the Oxford tutorial pairs students for one-on-one meetings with their tutors once a week.  I meet at his house in a setting much like documentary interviews, complete with bookshelves and big wing-backed chairs.  Students are expected to peruse an extensive reading list and write an essay for each meeting.  So far I have studied the British Empire in 1815 and British India 1815-56.  I am interested to see how this ties in with the Second World War.

On Wednesday we visited Windsor Castle.  The queen, alas, was not in residence, as she was at that very moment bestowing the Order of the British Empire on Hugh Laurie (Dr. House) at Buckingham Palace.  Windsor was, in the British style, lavishly adorned, yet did not impress me.  Due to its staggered construction, it is difficult to comprehend the exterior of Windsor Castle visually.  Inside, only three items truly awed me: a pair of crystal chandaliers, a pair of solid silver tables, and a gold studded bracelet.  Perhaps, having seen so many images of royalty on TV and the magnificent spires of CGI castles, the real deal hardly fazes modern man.

Yesterday Dr. Schuettinger invited the Hillsdale students to dinner at the Trout Inn, a thirteenth-century structure and favorite haunt of C.S. Lewis.  No one ever came to England for the food.  I am still searching for a halfway-decent fish and chips.  The service is also terrible, the British way of showing that the job is beneath their dignity.  Food in general is very expensive, although I can cut food expenses down to about $8 per day.  This is, of course, very high for bargain shopping, but still less than the price of a single meal at Saga.

Back to Dr. Schuettinger.  A sly old fellow, he says he spotted foolishness when he was five years old and has been a conservative ever since.  A graduate of Christ Church (the most eminent of Oxford colleges), a student of F.A. Hayek, and a former member of the Reagan administration who stymied the Russian oil pipeline, he has been around the block a few times.  During a lecture on European anti-Americanism, he concluded, after long and careful study, that Europeans hate Americans because they are envious.  For proof, he notes that 40% of the British population would like to emigrate (to the United States, Canada, and Australia, presumably).  Those who remain, he is convinced, are those too lazy to do so.  To him France is, of course, the source of many ills of the modern world.  Furthermore, he notes that anti-American sentiment is thoroughly hypocritical.  Ever since the Roman Empire, a reactionary counterbalance has always arisen in response to the dominant empire of the age.  The only time that has not been the case is the present.  Logically, the rest of the world must not really view America as a threat to world peace or they would form an alliance against us instead of with us.  He is one of those people you would like to tape record at all times to catch all of the zingers and one-liners.

Finally, today I met Sir Jock Stirrup, British Chief of the Defence Staff (American equivalent of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff).  He sounded like he understands the problems of the modern world well enough but is as short on solutions as everyone else.  So goes the world.