One year later...

It's hard to believe that one full year has passed since my life fell apart. As I write this, there's so much to say, yet the words with which to say it somehow do not effectively convey everything that has happened this past year. As I look back on this past year, I am so grateful to say that I have finally made it through the hardest year of my life.

As hard as it was, emotionally and financially, it was so sweet. God met me in my shattered state and carried me. He provided for me, surrounded me with love and comfort, and has given me hope and a future. One year ago, I was sick from crying so hard that I became dehydrated. I was full of fear about my future. I had lost my home, my husband, and my puppy. My husband had left me with almost $10,000 in debt, and I had suddenly had no place of my own to live. Anyone in their right mind would be terrified.

I was.

And yet, deep down, I knew that I would be alright. The ways in which God has provided for me, loved me, protected me, and changed me are countless. I don't have sufficient time to write it all here! God loves each of us so dearly, so tenderly. He has proven to be my comfort.

I'm looking out my window as I type this, and it's just beautiful outside. Sunny and warm, and beautiful green, white, and purple buds are everywhere. This beauty that I see is so reflective of how I feel about my own life. I feel like I have just emerged from a long, dark winter and finally, I have learned to smile and laugh again. God promises to work out all things for the good for those who love Him. This is so true. My life has so much hope. I have a future that God wants to be intimitely involved in, and I want Him to be.

I still have no home to call my own (yet!) and I still have some debt left (but it will be GONE May 31!) but I can honestly say that my life is wonderful. There is nothing like surrendering to the creator of the universe. The freedom that comes with it leaves you changed. Desperation is so sweet, so healing.