| You know you've been away from Xanga too long when it takes you five minutes to figure out how to begin a new blog. I dislike new buttons. And I dislike these ads. What is with that?
I have much going through my heart these days but not much to say. It's the times I feel God tugging on my heart that I'm few of words. Not sure why. Maybe because I'm exhausting my energy on trying to figure out what he's trying to tell me so I have no energy left for socializing. That sounds silly, though. It's more that I 'm just a deep thinker and will seclude myself while I contemplate on decisions and where my life is going. I'm excited about where God is taking me. I'm growing more than I ever have and there is this burning desire in me to be set on fire for my Creator's kingdom...I just don't know what I'm to do in His kingdom yet.
I'm being reminded constantly that I'm being prepared for his work -- something big. But I don't know what that is yet. I've known for most of my life He is preparing me for something special planned for me. I've accepted the fact that I may not know what that "big" thing is until I meet him face to face.
Recent revelations: the closer I grow to Him the less I like this world. The more joy I find in Him the less happiness I have from this world.
For the first time in my life, it's starting to make sense to me why any of us are here and what our true purpose is. I've heard it preached my whole life. This is the first time it is real.
May we never follow anyone but Christ. If we stand with Christ, we cannot stand for people of this world. If we stand with people of this world, then we cannot stand with Christ.
I choose Christ. End of decision.
My mind will never be altered. My heart will never be swayed. I know who my Savior is and no one compares.
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| I took a sabbatical from Xanga. I didn't really miss it...don't really miss it. But tonight I felt a need to write. Haven't done that in a while.
Married life is as wonderful as I thought it would be. Sharing a bed is not. Waking up with a knee in my side every night or an elbow in my face is intimidating. I sleep on the edge a lot. (No pun intended.)
Best discoveries in marriage: Brad sleep talks every night and will answer questions; Bike rides are a good way of quality time; Our only quarrel is over where coasters belong.
I started a new job today and suddenly realized I'm a grown up now. Darn. No more "when I grow up" statements. I'm already there. That came fast.
Life is good. I think it will always be hard to not take for granted what God does for me in my life.
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| I did not expect life to be this hectic.
What paper do I choose for my wedding programs? What thickness? Metalic or satin? Cardstock or linen?
And what hairstyle do I go with? Down and informal? Up and classy? Cascading curls or straight locks?
I don't have time to make the programs but I want them to be unique. I'd like to apply my graphic design skills to them, but that will all depend on if I have the time to do so.
I thought I cared a lot about my hairstyle, but now I think I'm just going to tell my hairstylist to do whatever the heck she wants. It will save me from having to make a time-consuming decision. 
But I am so excited and so ready to married.
And so ready for all the planning to be done with!
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I'm not really sure of anything anymore.
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And this is how it happened....
He picked me up at 5 p.m. That's the earliest we've ever gone out on a date.
Waiting for me on his passenger seat was a single rose.
He drove me out east to an"unknown" restaurant which I soon discovered was the Italian Garden.
After dinner he took me outside and told me we couldn't leave
yet. When I kept prompting as to why, he would smile and say, "I
have a surprise." Suddenly he tugged on my hand and grinned, "There's
our surprise." He turned me around to see a Townecar from a Limosuine
company pull infront of the restaurant.
For two hours we took a limo Christmas light tour and drank Dr
Pepper. Afterward, the limo dropped us off at the Waterwalk near
Abuelos and PF Chang. He took my hand and led me down toward the
water. We walked along the sparkling, calm water that had
Christmas lights reflecting off the top.
We stopped walking when we got to the large Commerce Bank's veranda
that overlooked the lake. It was dimly lit by the trees' soft
Christmas lights reflecting off the patio furniture and the
water. We leaned against the railing of the veranda--he slipped
his arms around me as we chatted about anything and everything.
Then he whispered in my ear,
"Do you know how truly blessed I am to have you in my life?" He turned
me to look at him as he continued. "Kayla, you are so perfect for
me..." I felt his hand reach into his coat pocket and as he went down
on one knee he finished with, "Which is why I want to ask you to be my
wife."
And pretty soon I will be.
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