| BoswerLK |
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read my profile sign my guestbook  Name: Wan Country: United States State: New York Birthday: 8/21/1986 Gender: Male Interests: food, video games, MMA, prowrestling, D&D, TV, hot chicks, professional gaming Expertise: I watch TV Occupation: Rogue 13/Ranger 1/Bard 1 Industry: Chaotic Good Message: message meEmail: email me Website: visit my website AIM:  BoswerLKICQ: Member Since: 7/18/2002 |
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Thursday, July 24, 2008
| School nightmares....they haunt me still. But why? I thought I've seen the last of them after I moved out... Back in the day, I'd be haunted with them every night because my dad couldn't shuttup about school. I really really hate school. Always have, always will. Even now when I'm studying a field on my own will, I still hate it. Even knowing that, it doesn't make sense. As you all know, I have easily breezed through all 16 or 17 or whatever the hell amount of years I've been in school. Yet, it has never once mattered to me whether I pass or fail. But in all my nightmares, since from way back before I can remember, whenever it's about school, it's always about me failing. Or rather, it's me being forced to work hard because my 2% effort wasn't quite enough anymore. I still don't understand why I have this fear of working hard in school. Perhaps it's because it's what my parents always wanted for me, and something I never wanted. I have always rejected the notion of slaving through school to show employers that you're a worthy obedient white collared slave. That is how I view the current walk of life. I like to learn, because knowledge is power, and you all probably know I'm obsessed about having power. I have never once felt that I need to prove myself to others, but that could be that I've always seen the majority of the human population as inferior beings who have no idea what they're doing and judge only based on how similiar one is to themselves, rather than by the true reality. So why is it that I'm haunted by failure in school...I don't get it....is it because I can't stand to sink below the pathetic average human...or is there something about me that I don't know about? The nightmare didn't even make sense. It started out with me kicking some major ass at quake 1........next thing I know I shoot my way into a classroom and am being forced to learn math and take math tests to fail them over and over. O.o | |
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
| Dear Firefly A firefly followed my mom earlier. At first I thought it was a huge mosquito and was gonna kill it, until it started glowing. I contemplated letting it live here for the night, as fireflies die the morning after they glow. It was beautiful at first, flying around with its pulsating green light. But shortly after, it stopped on a wall to rest. It stopped glowing on the wall. I got a pretty close look at it actually, my eye was mere centimeters away from the little guy. It was then that I saw it. There was nothing beautiful about its dance at all. No, it was sad. Fireflies glow in search of mates. But there were no mates to be found in my home. The answer was clear to me. I put an old slurpee cup over him, and he seemed to understand and walked in. I carried him to the balcony, where I let him fly back out into the outside, praying for him, that he finds his way back to his firefly friends. Even now I worry about him. What if he got lost or something? Dear firefly, I know you guys don't exactly use internet, but I hope this message from my heart finds you well in firefly heaven with your new family. Thank you for your short visit. Please, be happy. Is a human really supposed to have this kind of empathy and compassion? Is there anyone out there like me. I've always felt that there aren't. Why do humans only care for their own kind? Demon Within While I embrace, my nice side, I also equally love and embrace my vicious demonic side. That which always thirsts for battle and devastation. My hatred and anger, my cruelty and vengefulness. I love them too. At the same time, it's one of my only fears in this world. My top 3 fears list would probably be boredom, talking to cute girls, and losing control of my demon within. There was a reason I shut myself off from most of the outside world during the last few years in my old house. Circumstances there drove my hatred and anger to a point where I could no longer control it, and I ended up physically attacking people and things close to me, and destroying quite a few things. Such fury was never meant to be unleashed onto anything other than my opponents and enemies. After moving, I thought that losing control wasn't gonna be a problem anymore. And so far, it hasn't. But that hasn't calmed me. I still fear it. Every move I make, everything I touch, it haunts me in the back of my mind, what if the darkness inside me is still too much for me to control. What if I destroy it in an uncontrolled fit of anger? I generally never vent my anger while in control. Being obsessed with power, I've always locked my hatred inside my heart, so I can unleash it whenever I see fit. It seems such a tactic came with a heavy price. I've locked away too much, and my hatred has proven to me that I can't control it forever. Hopefully, it will dissipate over time, in my new quiet and peaceful life. Everything feels new to me now. But I still can't let go of the fear that my rage will overtake me...yet at the same time, love my hatred too much to let it go. I wonder what will break me first. The fear eating me up inside out, or my hatred that's unbinding the chains I used to confine it? | |
Saturday, June 21, 2008
| So, I walk into the Grand Central market and dramatic music is playing. You know, dramatic music like when they walk into a grand city or a giant majestic building or something. Then all around me, I'm surrounded by beautiful glorious food!! Laid out all nice and fresh and yummy looking. It's like they were playing that song with me in mind. It was weird. | |
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
| Jury duty is as boring as they say. It's all good though, cuz they didn't pick me for juror. This is how I did it. Lawyer: "Mr. Tung, would you blahblahblahblahblah interested blahblah defendant blahblahblah?" Me: "........................wait, what?" Inner Me: (.........wtf did he just say?) Lawyer: "......................................................................" Later, after I've been excused from the courtroom... Inner Me: (...good answer...I RULE! MUHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHHAHAAHAHHA!) I knew my slowness was good for something! BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! | |
Thursday, June 05, 2008
| Yes! My component A/V cable arrived and now I can enjoy ps2 games in 528p high definition goodness! HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! | |
