Weird Sleeping Habits Lately... I should really be in bed right now... but I'm not... I have been really tired lately too... but then when it comes time for me to go to bed... I'm not... Like I have always said... I feel like there is a window of opportunity when it comes to going to sleep... and its like once you start to feel tired... you got to go to bed... because if you don't that window closes... and it's like at least another hour and half before the next window opens...so here I am... waiting for the next window of opportunity.  And then I got to thinking about what I can do to pass the time... and I remembered Xanga... LOL Everyone has forgotten about Xanga(and livejournal)... and it's sad because by doing so they are forgetting the roots of their internet procrastination...before facebook and myspace. Before I was a facebook whore... I was for sure a Xanga Hoe !!! LOL I feel like a reason I can't sleep is because of my conscious... I have a lot on my mind right now... I feel like I am not fair to others... and that the true virgo comes out in me... and then its already to late once I have realized that I really was too critical... but then the virgo in me tells me to just say fuck it... and move on... But I know that doing that is wrong... so I feel torn... like my mind wants me to be a better person... but my personality traits say whatever. I feel like I am way to quick to turn my back on people that I am supposed to be loyal too...and that maybe I place my values and morals on other people... when I shouldn't... but then a part of me says oh well why would you want someone like that in your life... so fuck it... but I feel like I do that without thinking it through. And I end up feeling bad... like I do now... I also feel like my words come off the wrong way to people... like... I think people secretly think I am mean... but I don't mean to be mean... or like come off that way... I just do. I think its because I am not an emotional person... so because I am not emotional people just feel like I am mean or like I don't care or I am not being empathetic. I am... but I may not show it physically. I dunno... whatever... I'll figure it out and hopefully everything will be ok. God I love Xanga... I think thats why online journal things did so well... cuz you like spill out your life story... and by doing so you are like figuring out what to do with your messy life... and also get cool things like eprops from your friends... basically saying like yeah... you should do that or yeah i feel you... so its like positive reinforcements and shyt... LOL and if you ever like renege on what you say you are gonna do on your xanga... someone will call you out on your next posting describing how you didn't do what you said you were gonna do.... Anyway... not too many updates... Same ol Same ol around here... Going to Orlando in May with Cisco and his family... Then going to Chicago for Memorial Day weekend(aKDPhi Convention). Still want to go to NYC and DC... maybe june or july. Also want to make a trip out to Cali... we'll see about that one... LOL gas so is damn expensive... its killing me. Going to Minneapolis in August... There is a lot going on this upcoming year.... 5 weddings(damn !!! gettin old), MSU aKDPhi 10 year Reunion, my 25th birthday(omg... sooo old ), and who knows what else !!! ok... I think that's all for right now... don't worry Xanga... I'll be back... <3 ya girl B  p.s. I got bangs...
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