hello!!!!!!! it's monday... I'm feeling a little pooped.... I need to get more sleep man.....

Had a great weekend tho... well, not great, but ok I got baby sit for my boss on sat. night... His kids are cool... it was SO easy.. I got there, gave them dinner at 6pm, then I played video games with the boy and watched tv with both of them (Ariel-boy-10 and Izabela-7)... and then I put them to sleep at 9 and stayed there till they got home (12:30). Made some extra cash which is really wonderfull around this time of year! Sunday was wonderful! this wonderful singer, Anthony Skinner, came to our church and sang for us... He has such great songs, such a blessing over his life... really awesome.... After church we went to Taco Bell and then to Balagsz's house and watched my best friend's wedding. That movie reminded me SOOO much of Abel and I.... I really hated watching it cuz it made me think of him a lot..... In the end the girl didn't get the guy..... and the guy got someone else... much like real life... at least my life... Made me really sad cuz well, I've been there... I've loved someone a lot and I long to love someone again. To have someone to take care of, to worry about, to love on... It's during times like these that I really miss abel.... but what we had once is completelly over and there's not hope of ever going back to what it was.... I still love him, but now it's a different love, and he loves me that same way now too..... That doesn't mean that it's not difficult for me to accept seeing him loving someone else and not me.... it's very hard.... I just wish I could forget about all our history and all the things we shared together... it'd make things much much easier.

I got in a 'fight' with JT last night (sunday). He had been rude to me all night... Like, when i first got to church he touched my stomac and i was like "hey, no touchie, that's private property" and then a few seconds later my tummy showed a lil bit and he was like "hey anny, why don't u cover your privat property" so just joking around I pulled my shirt up a lil bit and he was like "yeah, that's not appropriate anny"... whatever, can't take a joke man... but I let that go... then after church I went up to a group of ppl and I was like "hey, u guys up for Denny's?" (we always go to Denny's after church) and JT was like "nah, I'm gonna go watch a movie" so I asked him what movie and he told me he was going to go watch Timeline.... Now, I really think that's a stupid movie and I didn't wanna watch it, but all I said was "yuck man..." and he was like "well, anny, I didn't really invite u to go with us, so u can keep your complaints to yourself", I should have let that go, but I didn't, so I bit back and said "well JT I wasn't expecting u to invite me to go and all YUCK meant was that that's not my choice of movie... doesn't mean i wanna go, just shows my opinion" and he kept going on and on about how I was complaining..... so I just kept saying whatever and walked out.... I was SOOOO mad... I'm still pretty mad... anyways.... he was totally thinking that I was hoping he'd invite me to go, or that I even thought he was going to invite me go..... then later on he goes "if u wanna go u can" and I like "yeah I know I can, but I don't want to". I'm so upset... he had to reason to give me that rude answer... none whatsoever!! pissed me off SO bad... so bad.... urgh..... friends just don't say things like that.... yet another reason why I would never date him! anyways.... he thinks it's all about him.... if he's gonna be like that then I'm afraid out friendship will end real soon......

So, tonight practice will be really weird.... we'll see how it goes and I'll let u know how it goes....

Mucho Love 

Anny

wow, it's been a while huh?!

Not very much has happened tho, so I guess it's ok. thanksgiving was cool. We got to go to Priscilla's house in Modesto and hang out with her and her family... then we came home (Pri came with us) and made dinner for about 10 people.... Big ol turkey and all... it was a great time!  I don't wanna use this to talk about how my days are going but about what I feel, SO, lets start...

This week Eduardo told me I'm getting a raise in January.. it's what I've been praying for... God is so great and so awesome! I'm so thankful!!!! I'm also learning how to be a leader, and I'm loving it! I hav 2 girls from youth group whom I'm kinda looking over and talking to, giving advice to... and it's great!!! I'm really thankful for that...

I guess what has really been eating me up is the fact that I think I'm liking someone... and I don't like that feeling! dont take this the wrong way, it's not cuz of the guy. he's awesome! he's SOOOO great it scary at times... He's like a golden nugget that fell from heaven and it kinda eats me up inside! He is so great! Such a man of God.... and cute... funny... plays the guitar....and his family is SO great.... his mom is the sweetest person I've met in a while and his sister is so cool and nice....  argh..... but I don't like liking him cuz I don't think he likes me, or will ever like me for that matter.... Sometimes I feel like he does, but most of the time I just dream about it. I know that we always have someone we kinda have crushes on, but this is kinda getting out of hand! I keep dreaming about him, and not by choice!! it's been this way for like 2 weeks already and I'm going crazy now!!!! I'm praying for God to not let me like him cuz well, like I said, I don't hav a single chance.... but a girl can dream right? well, I probably shouldn't dream too much.... dreaming gets me in trouble sometimes.... argh.... it's a really sucky situation... But I'm praying.. and I know God is watching over me... I know that whatever He has for me will be as good as this guy is, or even better!!! but what I do know is that I'm going puppy eyed everytime I look at him and think about him.... I really don't like feeling this way about a person I don't have a chance with... So I'm praying..... that's really all I can do....

I guess this is what I'm going through... I promise I'll try to keep this journal more updated...

Mucho Love

Anny

good morning, day, afternoon, night, whatever it might be where u, the reader, are reading from!!!! My night was pretty boring last night.... and my day was too! Work wasn't fun but at least I got to see Luke (cute guy who comes in once in a while).... I'm sure I'll be seeing more of him this week cuz his car is still here.... Highlight of the work day was that I told Vish my throat was hurting and he brought me some hot chocolate mix and some mints for my throat!! sooooo sweet huh? plus he wanted to see the Lotus we have here... Then I got to go home at about 5:30... Got home and watched Holes... cute movie, really cute! i didn't know I was gonna like it so much!!! kinda sad at times, but cute! a really cool story behind everything that happens... then I went to my room and watched tv.... got on the internet and scanned some pics! woo hoo eh?! Oh yeah, the people Dustin called about a job or whatever called my cell phone last night looking for him... So I called Jonathan's cell so I could talk to Dustin... then he was like oh yeah, we're all going to watch Underworld at the $1,50 theatre, wanna come? so i told him I had already seen (which is true)... I don't think they would have called me if I hadn't called... it was cute tho, Dustin was like "hey, u ok? u seem kinda down?" so I was like 'yeah, i'm fine, feeling a lil sick right now, that's all!'..... he's a sweetheart.... unlike some other dudes.... *chouch* jonathan* cough*... J.T hasn't called me in a few days, not even just to talk... there must be something wrong... I don't know what... tomorrow night there's the solo try outs for the church choir, I don't think I'm gonna try out... I donno... I guess I don't feel confortable yet with the whole choir yet....

I layed down to sleep at around 10 lst night but I stayed awake for a long time thinking about a "missions fair"..... I really want to tell Dave about it! I have SOOOOO many ideas in my head and so many things I want to tell Dave about! I cant wait until the whole tables thing come sup cuz I came up with the perfect mascot, a Goth Chihuahua!! is that not the greatest idea u've ever heard?! So I kept thinking about ways of making my goth doggie last night! So funny! I hate it when I can't sleep cuz I'm thinking too much, doesn't feel real u know?

I'm getting sick.... I hate it... my throat is killing me... I really think I might die soon... lol, nah, not that bad yet, but I am feeling sick tho! hopefully I won't get sick cuz I don't wanna miss worship and stuff.....

Must leave now, but HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

WHOOOOOOOOOOOO lives in a pinaple under the sea? lol.. thought I should start with an interesting line.... well, my day yesterday was perty boring if u ask me... well, not ALL boring.... I came to work (which sucked)... I left work early, like 5pm, which was weird cuz we've been pretty busy..... Work was normal.. nothing too interesting happened... lets see I answered lots of phone calls, wrote a couple of bills and got annoyed by marco! he's such a jerk and a butt! I really despize him!!!! so then I got to go home I was happy!!! I thought "i'll go home and sleep a lil" cuz I was tired, but when I got home ana had one of her friends over, so I didn't get to sleep... They had actually made some food but didn't save me any, so I went and made some soup... it was quite good actually... then I went to worship practice.... We got there and at 7:30 we decided to start... lol.... and then JT actually wanted to move all the sound system things on a table to the back of the room, so we actually started really practicing at 8:30.... after sound check and all... SO it turns out that JT wants to do a lot of new things, which is AWESOME ... he actually wants to put more people to sing...I'm wondering how he's gonna get more people up where we sing since it's such a small space... But it sounds like a good plan.... Anyways, I don't know what was up with him last night.... he was kinda being rude.... like he gave me at lest 4 really ugly responses and I didn't say a word back.... Dustin looked adorable, as always... Such a cool guy.... We practiced a few songs (more like 3 or 4) and called it a night. It was about 9:30... then we decided to go rent a movie. I knew I wasnt gonna get a movie I wanted to watch, but went anyways.... u know, to hang out.... the guys (JT and Nathaniel) decided to rent Tombstone, which is a cowboy movie.... urgh..... so we got to Stacy's house and immediatelly all the guys took the seats (go figure!!!) so I went and sat on the floor.... But then archie offered me his lil love sofa seat and he went and sat on the floor! I thought that was really sweet cuz I knew none of the other guys would have done that! JOnathan just acts as if nothing happened... I don't understand how that can be! How can u prentend nothing happened? how can u pretend that nothing went wrong and that u weren't a jerk? I don't get it! So about 1 hour after we had gotten to stacy's house archie announced he was leaving, so I asked for a ride back to the church (where my car was), I wasn't gonna stay there and just sleep, cuz that's what I was doing... By this time it was already like 11:30pm.... I really dont understand people sometimes..... but oh well? what can I do huh? so I went home and slept like a baby until this morning....

I really do feel different after I had Christa pray for me.... I'm still worried about my bills and about many other things but I think it's all starting to work out... I feel great peace in my heart for some reason... I feel that God is about to do something great... I'm just waiting...... "we wait for a not yet that feels like a not ever. Waiting is the hardest work of HOPE" Lewis Smedes.....

xanga

hello peeps!! this will be my first post.... Let's start by talking about my weekend... it was pretty boring, lemme tell ya! I went to watch a play that I can barely remember anymore but was ok, then I went home and watched law and order:SVU, my favorite show ever! pretty interesting things... Oh, also had a salami sandwich! On saturday i woke up at 11 (wished I could sleep longer, but couldn't cuz dang ppl were making noise outside!!! *grrs*)... then I went to lunch with my sis.... We came up with the conclusion that we are soul mates!!! I finish her sentences and she finishes mine!!! it trully is a great relaionship. then I went home and cleaned... WOO HOO!!!! Not really... I hate cleaning!! then I got to watch 8 crazy nights, with the cartoon version of adam sandler, and it was HILLARIOUS!!! really funny... then I watched the Hot Chick, disappointing... really... some funny things, but MANY not so funny ones... Then I went to my room and watched more tv (had nothing better to do!!!!) and Vish (my ex who's still a great friend of mine) called me to go to the movies and watch ELF.... I didn't really wanna go, but I went anyways... I knew I'd be home late too... well, the movie was awesome, go watch it, really funny and it's a great children's movie, no cuss words or anything of the sort! then we went to eat at denny's and then went home....  ended up getting home at 12am!! I knew I'd end up home so late... .... Sunday I went to Sunday school, which was nice... then our church service was AWESOME.... worship was really good (it always is). Pr. Don (worship leader) really knows how to get the church to worship... We sang this one song tha goes like "everything, everything, Lor you are everything to me.... My treasure, my priority. Who can compare to you? great is the measure of your royalty. Oh morning star you trully are everything!" and the spirit of God came down... it was a great moment! Our Pastor's preaching was really good too.... About how we won't be able to get what God has for us unless we let go of things that may be inpeding us to succeed.... really good... then I went hom and had lunch with ana and then I watched legally blonde 2... it was ok, not like the first one and it looks like they might make a third one... Who knows eh?! And then I went to church again at night... I had christa pray for me... I felt impressed all night long that I should get Christa to pray for me, and she did. I feel much better. I told her what has been going on with me and with everything I'm going through... argh, it has been so hard!!!! and my stupid emotions are driving me mad!!! it's insane how many things I'm having to deal with, but I trust my God and I know i'll be ok.... After church we went to Pr. Daves house (youth leader) and he talked about his plans for the rest f this year and for enxt year... he's got lots of plans and I'm ready to help those plans come true!! it's an exciting time for our youth group... we'll see how things go huh>? Then I went home and ate yet another salami sandwich... so yummmy!!!!! um um good!!!!! I'm trying to hurry through this cuz I really have to pee man!!!! oowww..... well, I'm going now... c ya'll later!!! mua mua kiss kiss