WoW

I know I've once again neglected my duties as a fellow Xangan. Once again I have posted rarely, visited your sites sporadically, and basically just abandoned everyone. I apologize. I have a good excuse, though. Not really. No excuse for neglecting my friends. I have become addicted. I didn't ever consider myself an addict before. I quit smoking New Year's day 1998. Never to resume the habit. I've never been addicted to drugs. Although I experimented with occasional substances in my younger years, I never had the urge to repeat those experiences or feel as though I cannot function without them.

This addiction, however, has taken hold of me like no other.

Look familiar? Any guesses? Die-hard players will know this game immediately.

It's World of Warcraft. aka WoW. I'm not sure if anyone that I'm friends with here plays this or not. I know Marty6001 does. I believe Judah plays. I'm not sure of anyone else. The above picture is of my character who is a Human Warlock. I finally learned how to take a picture without showing my status bars and everything! LOL

The next picture is actually the first picture I took of my character on WoW. I was summoning my demon minion to do my bidding for me!

The next picture is of me with one of my WoW buddies. His character is an Elf Hunter. To Wombat's right is his pet "Fred". Fred is an awesome pet. He takes a lot of attacks without losing too much health. Then my character is next. Beside me is my demon Succubus. She's bad ass! LOL On the far right is a murloc who got in our way! hehe He didn't last long.

If any of you play look me up! Just let me know and I'll send you a message letting you know what realm I am in. I'm slowly getting my friends and family addicted as well. They all love me for it.

Well, I'm off to WoW.

Lately certain people have been visiting my site and sending me rude messages. These aren't from complete strangers, let's just leave it at that. A few years ago I would have gotten really upset over these letters and would have responded to them with as much hate and negativity as they have shown me. Although I did respond to these letters I didn't act like an episode of Jerry Springer! (Which is what it seems like they are after.)

I feel sorry for these type of people that I call "drama seekers". They have so much doubt and negativity in their life that they cannot be happy unless they are constantly producing drama somewhere. Trying to belittle people, put others down, judge people they have no business judging, etc. I'm ashamed to admit that I used to be one of these people. I was so miserable with the circumstances in my life that were beyond my control that I had to take it out on other people so I could take the focus off of the unhappiness and uncertainty in my own life.

I've always had diverse religious beliefs. I have always felt more akin to Native American beliefs than to Christianity. As I studied more and found myself more in tune with the Ancient Earth Religions I learned a very important lesson: the threefold law.

Once I accepted this in my heart and decided to change my attitude and perceptions my whole life changed. For the first time I realized that playing the whole "revenge" game was really more destructive to me than I at first realized. Even though I thought I was basically a very decent human being who had every right to retaliate against the actions that others did to me, I didn't realize how much it was hurting my life by responding to their negative actions. I decided that I would not seek revenge anymore for what others said or did to me. Don't get me wrong, justice is completely different than revenge. This is a line that took me a long time to differentiate. I do stand up for myself, I don't let people walk all over me, I do seek justice when I am wronged. I just don't seek revenge or try to hurt others just to make myself feel better. 

The biggest factor of the threefold law that took me even longer to learn was that this law also applies to what you do to YOURSELF. I now try to always think of how something will affect my health (physical & emotional) before I act.

I've always believed in karma but didn't realize how much control I had over my own karmic relations. Once I stopped trying to seek revenge for what others did to me, my karma completely turned around. My life started falling into place in ways I never could have imagined. I was going through a lot of legal problems at the time as well as having to live with my mother after my childrens' father and I split up.

Amazingly, though, things started falling into place. I got a team of great attorneys that were willing to work with me. As long as I made my payments on time every month I didn't have to worry about representation. I got into an apartment facility that I wouldn't have dreamed of before. So I didn't win the lottery, but my life was (and is) so much better!

I'm still somewhat dumbfounded that these people are harassing me after all of this time. I don't go to their MySpace page, I don't email them, don't contact them in any way. So to get a message from them out of the blue was surprising. I have a site here and I also have a Xanga site. Apparently she's been reading my sites and keeping tabs on my life. My sites are open and I have no problem with people reading them. But when you read my sites, don't like what you read, and then confront me about it? THAT'S when I have a problem. One of her issues was with my sexy pictures. Ooh, I'm such a terrible mother for having pictures of me in my bra and panties. Gimme a break. They see worse on tv every day. Hell, I've had bathing suits that are skimpier than my bra and panties! The thing is I know that it's not really my parenting style that pissed her off. What pissed her off was knowing that her husband had full access to these pictures as well as she did and she didn't want him looking at them. Plain and simple.

It's not my fault if they choose to look at my site. It's not my fault if they click on the tab to look at my pictures. No one is forcing them to look. No one is forcing them to read my sites and my opinions. It's these type of people that get me frustrated. No one should be criticized for feeling good about themselves. I will make no apologies for showing off my body! I have a healthy outlook on sexuality and happen to have positive self-esteem. I'm not going to let anyone make me feel bad for that. I've had 4 children and I think I look damn good considering!  

I just feel so sorry for people like these women because they don't realize how much their actions are hurting themselves. They are hurting themselves much more than they think they are hurting me. I know who I am. I have found my Goddess within and am very proud of that. I know that I'm connected to the Divine, to the Universe, to the Gods and Goddesses, and I am very grateful to feel that connection. I have wonderful children that are being raised to find their own beliefs. One of my sons is a Christian. One is not really religious or found any religious beliefs yet. My other 2 are young and will find their beliefs in time. They are being raised to consider other peoples feelings before they act. They are being raised to be respectful, polite, and open-minded. To realize that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions. I am proud of them. I am proud of myself. I know that people tend to look at my life and think that it can't be that great. I'm a single mother, on disability, raising 3 kids with no help from their fathers. They don't visit, don't pay child support regularly, etc. People who think that couldn't be farther from the truth. Yes, things could be better financially. But who couldn't benefit from better finances?   I don't have to deal with my exes as they choose not to be involved and I am not about to force them. They're the ones missing out on the kids' lives. Not me. I don't mind being single. I get to see whoever I want whenever I want and I don't have to answer to anyone!   I have "buddies with benefits" that I really enjoy! LOL I spend my money how I want. I get to enjoy peace and quiet. Most importantly, I have complete control over the remote control!      

Seriously, though, I wish these people were more secure in their relationships so they wouldn't feel so threatened by me that they analyze every single thing I write to see if I'm talking about "their man". All I have to say is this: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE PICTURES THAT I POST OR THE OPINIONS I EXPRESS THEN STAY AWAY!!!!