| | Watched Mystic River tonight with Megh. Was good, but painfilled, made me cry. Course you'd be hardpressed to find anything that doesn't these days, me being a basketcase and all. It's all Walt Disney's fault you know. Grew up on the Disney animated classics; gave me unrealistic expectations for life. If you love someone enough, eventually they love you back. If you're good and you try to do your best, eventually it'll pay off. Time heals all wounds, this too shall pass and it'll all turn out right in the end. Maybe the problem is that in real life there isn't an ending, things just keep rotating. Fucking loose ends. I'm fully aware I don't make any sense, but neither did James Joyce and look where it got him. Ha. I should have paid more attention to Harold and Maude, and Waterloo Bridge. That's how real stories finish. I should go to sleep now. But I don't really want to. Cause when I dream, I can remember what he tasted like and I feel safe thinking it's him and me against the world. And then I wake up and I've forgotten exactly what the scar on the back of his head looks like, or the design of his class ring, I forget a little more each morning, and what hurts is that that is how it should be. Cause these days he's happy, he's waking up next to someone else, but he's happy. Wonder what that feels like.
Ani DiFranco
"you can't get through it. you can't get over it.
you can't get around. just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream and you won't make a sound"
"yeah, i would like to perfect the art of being studiously aloof
like life is just a boring chore and i am living proof "
"
life just keeps getting harder and it just keeps getting harder to hide
the darker it is around me the easier it is to see inside"
"i think that your body is something i understand.
i think that i'm happy, i think that i'm blessed."
"oh, how i miss substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss
and oh, how i miss walking up to the edge and jumping in
like i could feel the future on your skin"
"I could make you happy, you know, if you weren't already." |
