BriarRose2357's Xanga

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 02:21:13 GMT

Whenever I am reading Hemingway, the scenes he describes appear as bold paintings by Picasso in my mind. Hemingway's words and Picasso's images both have the same cutting effect on me; after I read The Sun Also Rises just as after I first saw "Guernica" I felt as if I had been flailed alive. Their art is confusing and disconcerting, and painful, mustn't forget painful. They take beauty and twist it to painful ugliness, and they take the hideous and horrifying and twist it into something excruciatingly beautiful. At some point it all becomes so indistinguishable that there is a moment of stabbing clarity. I don't like it at all.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 01:21:35 GMT

The CKY vids are soo friggin good. Revolting at times, sure, but sooooo friggin funny. There's nothing I enjoy more than seeing a male in self-inflicted pain. I'm sick I know, but it doesn't bother me as much as it probably should.

They are a haggard looking bunch.

Speaking of haggard, what possessed me to dye my hair red? I mean seriously, so not a good look for me. Course during that period I was more interested in if there was alcohol in the cupboard, munchies in the fridge and whether or not Hannah wanted to bake than in my appearance. I think I was trying to look like Alyson Hannigan. I failed. Miserably.

Such a cliche.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 03:21:05 GMT

Gah it's already midnight and I have hours of work left to do. I've been at it since 3 this afternoon but I've barely gotten anything done. I'm gonna blame my lack of productivity on my lousy Internet connection, which keeps dropping every thirty seconds. But if I'm totally honest, though getting disconnected is annoying it's had less to do with distracting me than the pictures below. Those combined with the Placebo I've been listening to all day have me all hot and bothered. I don't know exactly why I find Placebo so sexy; it's very disconcerting. Well I'm off to find a nice big block of ice to sit on.

I seem to be drooling. and panting.

makes you just want to lick him all over then bite down on one his perfect little ass cheeks. hard.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 02:55:51 GMT

Watched Mystic River tonight with Megh. Was good, but painfilled, made me cry. Course you'd be hardpressed to find anything that doesn't these days, me being a basketcase and all. It's all Walt Disney's fault you know. Grew up on the Disney animated classics; gave me unrealistic expectations for life. If you love someone enough, eventually they love you back. If you're good and you try to do your best, eventually it'll pay off. Time heals all wounds, this too shall pass and it'll all turn out right in the end. Maybe the problem is that in real life there isn't an ending, things just keep rotating. Fucking loose ends. I'm fully aware I don't make any sense, but neither did James Joyce and look where it got him. Ha. I should have paid more attention to Harold and Maude, and Waterloo Bridge. That's how real stories finish. I should go to sleep now. But I don't really want to. Cause when I dream, I can remember what he tasted like and I feel safe thinking it's him and me against the world. And then I wake up and I've forgotten exactly what the scar on the back of his head looks like, or the design of his class ring, I forget a little more each morning, and what hurts is that that is how it should be. Cause these days he's happy, he's waking up next to someone else, but he's happy. Wonder what that feels like.

Ani DiFranco

"you can't get through it. you can't get over it.
you can't get around. just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream and you won't make a sound"

"yeah, i would like to perfect the art of being studiously aloof
like life is just a boring chore and i am living proof "

life just keeps getting harder and it just keeps getting harder to hide
the darker it is around me the easier it is to see inside"

"i think that your body is something i understand.
i think that i'm happy, i think that i'm blessed."

"oh, how i miss substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss
and oh, how i miss walking up to the edge and jumping in
like i could feel the future on your skin"

"I could make you happy, you know, if you weren't already."

Friday, July 02, 2004

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 19:39:15 GMT

It's Friday, I'm in love. Well not really. But I have been listening to The Cure, which is almost like being in love. I'm still at work, watching the cat lick itself and waiting for the stupid printer to quite being a jackass so I can go home. I'm eating german chocolate cake though so life is sweet. I've got a busy weekend planned so right now I'm reserving my energy, other than typing I don't think I've moved in the last hour. Well except to get forkfuls of cake. I'm babysitting tonight, which should be exciting. Planning to take the kiddies to the pool. They absolutely delight in sitting on my shoulders in the deep end holding my hands above the water while I tread desperately to keep us from drowning; kids are sadistic, but it's cheaper than joining a gym and if I'm gonna keep eating cake like this I need some exercise. Tomorrow I have to work, so that I can get Monday off. But as consolation I'm going to the mall tomorrow evening to spend the fruits of my labor on new clothes, and a haircut so I can stop wearing bandannas wherever I go. Then I'm going to eat ice cream and watch Buffy with Margaret Hill all night. I plan to scream and rant at Angel for leaving her, the bloody bastard. How dare he. He promised her forever, and then he just leaves. Men. They all deserve to be castrated. Even the cute ones. Especially the cute ones. Anyway, I'm leaving now so here are a few happy quotes curtesy of the Willster:

"What's his number again. Oh yeah, 1-800-IM-DATING-A-SKANKY-HOE"

"It wasn't me...I mean well...Buffy had three!"

Buffy: Something ripped out his insides and ate him?

Willow: Like an oreo cookie...without the cookie goodness.FY

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 23:39:28 GMT

Ok, so I'm finally posting again after a...6? 7? month hiatus (I'm way to tired to actually check). I feel like some sort of weird lurker reading Meghan and Emmi and Matt's post without actually writing anything myself. I'm like some sort of hermit stalker person. But hey I have finally been getting out a little; went out to dinner with more people than I've seen at one time since classes finished, had a wicked good time playing tipsy cranium and meeting Matt's cutie last week, and saw not one but two movies. Ok so the second one (Spidey II) kinda traumatized me, but I'm not gonna give up on the whole having a life thing that easy. Right now I'm listening to Aimee Mann for the first time in ages, s'good stuff. Her lyrics are all witty like and she's got the perfect range for me to sing along (perfect=limited). I'm also reading Buffy fanfic, which although entertaining is very shocking. There's just something disturbing about all these adolescent girls turning out NC-17 porn stories about everyone's favorite couple (if they're not your favorite couple, take a hike). But it's better than doing something useful, like work or reading something non-trashy.

So I just zoned for a minute, staring at my wall, and now I need to comment on my wall. Very few people have seen my wall, since my room is, as ever, worse than a pigsty. And those who have seen my wall would probably be inclined to think it's fairly nondescript: white, cracked, very uninteresting. But they would be wrong, cause my wall has undergone a transformation. That's right, I now have things on my wall. That isn’t to say that it has become a more aesthetically pleasing wall by any means. But it is much more interesting. It now has a large Ani Difranco poster next to a Buffy season three poster. Underneath those two is an old poster for the 1932 version of Dracula and a black and white screenshot from the Lone Ranger. Can we say clash. Then there’s Sting, my pride and joy limited edition LOTR sword replica mounted on a wooden thingie with elvish all over it. My mother hates the darn thing (I’m trying to tone down my language here, it’s hard, I hadn’t realized how foul my mouth has gotten) cause she’s sure I’ll either stab myself, klutz that I am, or stab my lil sis in a fit of rage. And then the wall gets weird. Sitting on the left side of my shiny sword is a periodic table over a human anatomy poster. The wall is completed a Lord of the Rings poster. I probably should have planned the layout a bit better, cause I’m well aware that the order doesn’t make sense, but I really was just so excited about putting something on my wall at long last that I didn’t think ahead, I just slapped things up there. Course it will all finally come together when I get a Rocky Horror Poster. I think it’ll go nicely over the sword.

I’ve written much more than I planned and I have a feeling I lost anyone who might be reading this’ interest back on the second sentence, but I feel compelled to add something more. I realize that most of my rambling thus far has been pretty incoherent, and man do I love run on sentences and where the bleeding hell is the spell check on this thing? (Since I can’t curse on this thing cause of the innocent - heh innocent my butt cheeks - eyes that might be reading this, I’m forced to improvise.) Sigh I have to take freshman English this upcoming semester; it’s gonna be so humiliating. You’d think they’d give me some credit for just speaking the language, but no, the prats expect me to be able to know all the bloody rules too. I wish I had Joss Whedon’s way with words. That said, I’m gonna leave you with some of the man behind the curtain’s words of wisdom, delivered through the oh so scrumptious mouth of a young Xander Lavelle Harris:

“Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person.”

“Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way.”

“It's time for me to act like a man... and hide.”

“I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.”

“And they say that young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but I've learned to be afraid.”

Tomorrow’s Quotes: Willow, Miss I’m So Shy It’s Sexy, shows her claws, you won’t want to miss it.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Sun, 14 Dec 2003 23:27:24 GMT

Pseudophedrine is my new god. I plan to make lunar sacrifices to the power of decongestants from this day forth. I can breathe again, praise Sudafed. Of course my nose is still red and raw from low quality tissues, but at least I'm up and about again. So now I'm going to go play Two Towers on the PS2 and try to decide whether to go to LOTR in costume or not.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Fri, 12 Dec 2003 11:19:25 GMT

The flu has caught me. I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't taste anything, I can't hear, I can't see. I think the flu gives us a little sense of what hell must be like:no sensation but the aching pain of sinus pressure. Kill me, kill me now.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 13:59:41 GMT

I'm at worked, bored out of my mind of course. You know what's not cool? Being cold is not cool. No pun intended, really. Seriously thought, where the hell is this global warming people keep talking about? IT'S FRIGGIN FREEZING AND I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT! If the planet was really warming up so much, it'd be warm. I could be tanning right now instead of curled into a ball watching my numb frozen fingers trying to bend to type. But on the upside, one week from today I'll be immersed in Middle Earth drooling over Legolas. Three cheers for LOTR!

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 18:23:30 GMT

Don't say I didn't warn you. So now I'm watching S1E4 Teacher's Pet. My god Angel was gorgeous back then. I mean he's still smokin' but then he was *swoon* Principal Flutey: "We all need help with our feelings, otherwise we bottle them up and before you know it powerful laxitives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to each other we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, but not a real hug, because there's no touching. This school is sensitive to wrong touching. Heal!"