my room is a mess.  one side has my college stuff.  other side has crap i dont want.  and in the middle are all my clothes that i never wash.  my bed is a filing cabinet and my walls can not be seen because i use them as my own personal gallery space.  i wish tomorrow was the 28th cuz that would mean i'd have $300 in cash in my pocket and i'd be going back to kutztown.  next summer will be different.  less stressful.  i'll be in delaware living with my grandma and staying out of trouble for 4 months.  and by trouble i mean drinking, smoking and running around at 4am... i love it but my mom's right i need to grow up.  my mom said my grandma is going crazy.  apparently she thinks the government hides the stars at night something with the air force and stuff.  and some lady shines a light on her tv at night so she cant see it.  oh yea and the chickens talk to her.  it'll be fun tho because i love chickens.  and ill kick that lady's ass if she messes with my grandma's tv.  it'll be an adventure and something new no one seems to understand that i need something new cuz all i really know is boiling springs.  kutztown was like boiling springs except with alot more people my age so ten times the fun.  okay im gonna clean my room.

yay!  very good mood.  only 18 more days left annnnd i might be able to quit sunnyside a week early which meeeeans i only have a week left!  i reallllly shouldnt leave a week early... but i wantttt toooooo

some creepy guy i dont even know keeps iming me asking if he can call me or if i can call him and asks me all sorts of questions bout my art. 

im going to ally's hotel party tonight! yay! I MISS YOU ALLY!  and i finally realized what i was suppose to do thursday but its been changed to tuesday.  party in juniata with sam.  shes funny.  she saw kims belly button *kim has her belly button pierced 4 times*  and she said that it reminded her of a robot and if she saw it when she was stoned she probably would have ended up trying to push the buttons.  i dunno it was funny

blllah 2 more hours till i work!

i might live in delaware next summer with my grandma.  i dont like boiling springs.  if im with my grandma i think ill stay out of trouble that way.  well stacie will be there so maybe ill have a few troubles but nothing like here.

i talked to my mom about tuition bill is 2873 she has 2200 so sweeeet.  my dad is giving me 500 but she wants to save that for next semester.  so i gotta come up with 673.  not toooo shabbbby.  i didnt think she'd help me that much but i guessss she really doesnt want me to stay here hahahaha.

im making stef come with me to juniata.  if ne one else wants to come just telll me and if i still have roooom in my car ill bring uuuu. 

im being forced to cook a dinner that i wont even be able to eat.

me and my mom are having a talk when she gets home

i hate work

i miss college 19 more days

random people keep iming me. this guy asked me if i wore panties or thongs.  i said wtf and then he left me alone.

i think i might be crazy

ive made a lot of bad choices recently i think im gonna stop every thing just go with the crowd for awhile instead of being waht i want just till things get better.

i get paid thursday.  i think my tuition will be taken care of.  my dad is actually gonna help me.  i havent been to philly to see him since thanksgiving.  he doesnt even care.

kim is depressed which is just making me even more depressed than i was.  i think its just from being in this town for so long.  when she told me she was depressed i tried to cheer up so that maybe she would but im sick of that.  i just wanna sleep all day.

i have a dr's appt on friday.  someone wanted to do soemthing thursday but i forget who ro what. ally wants me to come to a hotel party wednesday.  and tonight... tonight im going to bed early so that maybe ill wake up before 1:00 or at least 2:00.

i got kim hooked on that song by streetlight manifesto "a better place a better time" i love that song.  i guartee that u'll wake in a better place and in a better time.

okay ive gotta cook dinnnnner. 

p.s. we found the true meaning of christmas the other day while we were drunk. hahahaha

wayne asked me if i was bipolar today.  what an asshole.  i wasnt doing ne thing that would resemble bipolar i was just walking around minding my own business. 

24 days left of this.

jake just asked me if i was on the phone and i was and it old him to get the fuck off.  then he asked me for nate lackeys number i told him to shut the fuck up.  i like saying fuck when it seems really unnecessary. 

i think my mom thinks im crazy.  ever since our talk she has been really... gentle... like she might hurt my fragile mind.  push me off the edge or something.

me and kim are having a yard sale on saturday.  i really need to make some college money so i hope this plan works.  i told my mom and she told me to call my dad and ask him for money.  im scared to.  i dont like asking ne one for money.  i feel weird going to sunnyside and asking for my paycheck. 

i have really bruised knees and elbows right now.  drunk camping in the woods.  everyone said metcalfe was here so i started running to meet him with out a light.  i ended up flying right over a fallen tree and now my knee is really fucked up. 

i miss alyssa.

ive decided that sunnyside doesnt pay me nearly enuf for the work i do soooo they are going to pay for my dishes at college.  i stole worsteshire sauce today.  how do u say that word.

i opened a scooby doo tin that has been in my room for awhile jsut sitting on the top shelf i havent touched it till today.  i found 2 condoms, my walkman that i thought was lost, my slides for my portfolio and fruit snack.  i ate the fruit snack. 

kim is gonna be here soon.  i told her if she brought my phone id drive her to giant so she could buy chocolate chip cookies.  im glad kim is in boiling springs with me.