|
| shopping.with.mary.j.So.. I decided to do some shopping for mother's day
Why not go shopping at one of our stores?
I'll get the best for my buck that way.
So I did.
I headed uptown to one of our stores and entered.
I browsed for awhile and looked through
what my mom and grandma would like.
I let them know I was a company employee..
which you're supposed to let them know
when you are shopping at any locations.
I guess that somehow gave them a reason to
let me stay after the store had closed...
but I didn't know they had closed.
It was only 6pm and online it said they were
open until what I thought was about 8pm.
Guess not.
It was 6:30 and the store was empty except
for me.. a European couple (his wife said she was a model)
and a woman with her husband.
Well.. this woman walked towards me to go into the next room,
So I moved out of her way a bit. Something about her was familiar.
I then heard someone say the store was closed,
but they weren't letting us know. Strange.
They let us keep shopping.
I look over at the woman who walked by me..
and I hear staff whispering...
I hear... "Mary J."
It was Mary J. Blige.
The store was closed and she was scheduled
to come in and shop after the store closed.
We were still in there.. still shopping... only like 3 of us...
with Mary J. Blige.
I wish I had a camera phone.
It was strange walking up to the store before hand.
I was thinking about what they do when someone famous
is going shopping in their store. I know some places
close the doors so they can shop in private.
It was odd that right after that thought..
I was placed right in the middle of the real situation.
Since I was an employee.. I guess they just let me continue.
Mary bought 4 cashmere brightly colored sweaters.
hot.
| | |
| one.fine.day.Wowsers, is it warm out!
It's like the tropics in the office,
so a fan is a necessity on my list of things to buy for my desk.
A fan... a nice homey lamp...
i love decorating a desk... it's huge and can fit everything to make it like home...
plus it's all wood.. which matches my decorative style.. 
This morning I was on the train and a girl got on a 63rd (the stop after mine).
It was strange.. because it was like looking into a mirror.
We were dressed very similarly.
Same hair.. short.. brown...
she was probably a lesbian, but what does that matter.
Or she's just a very boyish girl.
She was definitely cute...
probably because she looks like me. haha.
So I look at her during the ride as we stood next
to one another.. and she whips out her iPod.
She had the same one as me.. and she pulled it out
of her messenger bag.. just like me.
I look at her screen and notice HARD CANDY - MADONNA
is the album artwork... exactly what I was listening to.
I wanted to say something because it was so funny,
but I was still half asleep and crammed into an express train
that miraculously pulled up to my local stop.. love that.
Anywho, I just got back from lunch.
A nice ham with truffle cheese baguette..
walked and sat for a smooth jazz quartet playing in central park.
I walked across the park to Starbucks and got a beverage for my
walk back through the park back to Madison ave.
It was a delightful lunch today... especially since it was finally nice out today.
It's been raining for a few days... probably to make up with the weeks of
warm dryness we had before.
Either way... it's nice..
and i feel good.
Especially after last night.
I had to work one of my few final shifts at starbucks
last night and it ended with a toilet overflow.
Two jobs in one day was a lot yesterday...
but that ending was unecessary haha.
Whatever I called facilities and did the right thing.
I wasn't going to just leave it for the morning.
Though it is nice to know that it will no longer
be an issue for me.. this is it.. the last week.
Four years of Starbucks.. and it's over.
But only for something amazing.
That feels good.
| | |
| earlyit's early!
I woke up at 445 to drop off my store keys to my friend who took my shift.
Starbucks seems to have really been screwing with me...
me of all people.
The guy who has always busted his ass for them.
I guess it's what you get for being the good reliable one.
When you finally move forward into your career with excitement...
they seem to be saying :
"wait.. what day are you starting your new job?
in two weeks? Is that two full scheduled weeks?
No? Two exact weeks...hmm. You need to get your shifts covered...
it's your responsibility. You can give notice but it's up to you..
the schedule is already made... I know it's not posted for you to see yet....
and it wont be for a few more days... but I assure you it is finished..
and you are scheduled to work. Well... you CAN start on the 28th at your new job..
and we'll figure it out.. we're so happy for you...
wait.. it's to ohard to find shifts....we couldn't figure it out.. and now it's your responsibility..
I know you just finished your first day at a new job.. and it's the night before your shift.. but...what?...
you called stores in manhattan and contacted other districts? That's not enough...
it's not the the managers job to get shifts covered...it's yours... for two weeks..
wait... you got a new job? "
Hmmm... interesting.
It seems that two store managers that I know and trust
all seem to think it's ridiculous that I am being told to cover
three shifts that I gave 2 weeks notice on.
They would tell me otherwise... they were like..
call your DM... and that's it. You are not required to be there.
Called my district manager and was like...
i've never not shown up for a shift...
and I have a new job now.. and I told them 2 weeks ago I'd be starting this week...
so .. i wont be at the shifts that never got covered. bye | | |
| a new manI am a new man.
With everything that happened this year
I just really wanted something good to happen.
I wanted something that would make my family, especially my mother proud.
I wanted my dad to be proud, my grandma to be proud,
they always ask me about resume, interview progress... and I always felt shitty.
My mom.. I just want her to have something good fill her body,
something besides the chemo.
I wanted to prove myself.. live strong and succeed.
I wanted and still want it for Timmy.
So much is left empty.. so much he can't ever do now...
I want to bring the life he would have had into my own
and make mine twice as strong for both of us.
I need to.. for him and for me.
God, I miss him so much.
I may say this a lot... but I was always with him as he grew up
until he was in his last couple of years in high school.
I was away in college and he didn't get to see much of each other,
but when we were growing up I felt like he looked up to me as a friend
and cousin. I really really really hate that he can't look up to me now.
He always showed appreciation towards me.. and out of everyone I know,
I always felt his the most. I truly felt good that he still cared after all our years
growing up. I truly truly felt this warmth when he'd find interest in my photographs,
designs, my life.. everything. I appreciated it so much..and I want it now.
I want to tell him I got this job.. I want him to be annoying and say
"You know you're letting me use your discount, right?"
I'm doing this for me and so much for him.
So yeah. I am a new man.
I have a real job.
First interview.
A real company.. purely classic american...
fashion industry... a dream job.
My foots in the door.
I am thrilled.
I just want to start... | | |
| thoughts on everythingIt will be a year since I've graduated,
and about 8 months since I could have really
began job hunting.
I really ended up turning September through
December into a long ass brainstorm for my website
and my own stupidity of holding onto hopeless hopes.
December was when the ideas finally snapped and began
to actually churn into something good.
I gave myself a good deadline to finish the site
and it worked rather well.
The site came together but the text didn't seem right.
That took me into January when it finally looked and felt right.
It went up.. and as I was finally feeling set to show it to
potential jobs, life took an unexpected turn.
I let the bad news of my cousin and my mother
put me into a bad spot.
I gave all the attention and emotions possible...
but I also let them linger into the productive aspect.
I needed to keep working on getting what needed to be done, done.
I didn't.
I stopped.
I just worked.
I worked to make money,
worked to make money so I could pay for the vacation
that would get me away from my life.
The trip that did do that, was well worth the attention to
working at Starbucks.
BUT, I really let it break me down.
I've always known it was my college job,
but I knew it was supporting me
and felt I had to give it my all.
I have.. but I don't want to anymore.
My love for the place, the people, the experience...
yes it may still exist, but I'm destined for what I am love to do.
Not what I love to do because it's paying me.
I want to do what I love because I love it.
How did I stray so far?
This entry is being written quickly
as I am about to write another cover letter.
I have one application out at an amazing place
with my friends working in HR there and other departments...
it seems so hopeful.
I cannot put all my eggs in one basket though.
I need to keep applying. I will have plenty of time to hear,
but I never will if I keep stalling in order to exhaust myself at Starbucks.
I care too much there, enough so that I am coming home dead.
Dead tired.. dead exhausted.. and not as appreciated as I was for so long.
Appreciation is shit though, if it exists or doesn't.
Why be there.. yes it pays the bills.. and I've come to believe in what I do there.
But It will not go on forever, nor do I want it to.
Now is the time to get myself out there...
come out of my winter hibernation..
accept my cousin is gone...
be there for my mom during chemo...
and show her I will get myself out there..
and live on in my own life with the memory of Tim and
work hard to fill in the emptiness that was cut short in his life.
He is an entire entity.. a whole person who would have breathed
our air, spent our time, worked his ass of in college, enjoyed and taken life to the fullest.
I need to incorporate the loss of him into a bit of myself moving forward
and making more of this life.
I cannot care about my job now,
I must live with where I am,
do my best at it,
but not waste myself away on it.
Especially when it is only a place holder.
It needs to just hold it's place...
until it's done.
Time to start typing... for real.
| | |
|
