| | a new manI am a new man.
With everything that happened this year
I just really wanted something good to happen.
I wanted something that would make my family, especially my mother proud.
I wanted my dad to be proud, my grandma to be proud,
they always ask me about resume, interview progress... and I always felt shitty.
My mom.. I just want her to have something good fill her body,
something besides the chemo.
I wanted to prove myself.. live strong and succeed.
I wanted and still want it for Timmy.
So much is left empty.. so much he can't ever do now...
I want to bring the life he would have had into my own
and make mine twice as strong for both of us.
I need to.. for him and for me.
God, I miss him so much.
I may say this a lot... but I was always with him as he grew up
until he was in his last couple of years in high school.
I was away in college and he didn't get to see much of each other,
but when we were growing up I felt like he looked up to me as a friend
and cousin. I really really really hate that he can't look up to me now.
He always showed appreciation towards me.. and out of everyone I know,
I always felt his the most. I truly felt good that he still cared after all our years
growing up. I truly truly felt this warmth when he'd find interest in my photographs,
designs, my life.. everything. I appreciated it so much..and I want it now.
I want to tell him I got this job.. I want him to be annoying and say
"You know you're letting me use your discount, right?"
I'm doing this for me and so much for him.
So yeah. I am a new man.
I have a real job.
First interview.
A real company.. purely classic american...
fashion industry... a dream job.
My foots in the door.
I am thrilled.
I just want to start... |
| | Posted 4/17/2008 12:52 PM - 3 comments
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