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| I love summer. I wait all year for the heat, the care free attitude, the plethora of summer-y things to do, and the free time to do what I want. Like practice more.  What I don't love about summer is the Boston public transportation system. I live in town, right on the green line and the majority of the time, it's great. I can get anywhere I want to get and quite easily, in fact. However, there are two things complicating this process at the moment. One, the gas prices. This means that more and more people are taking the train each day. Which is understandable...however, the MBTA needs to make adjustments for this and put more trains out at a given time. I can't tell you how much time I waste sitting underground waiting for a train to come at all! And when it does come, it's so packed that as it rides down the rail into the next tunnel, you can hear the rails squeal under the weight of all the people. This annoys me, but more than that is the fact that this problem is compounded by all of the crazy Red Sox fans. Now don't get me wrong - I like the Red Sox as much as the next person - it is kind of hard not to get caught up in them when you live in this city. Plus Dunkin Donuts gives out free iced coffee every time they win. However, the number of Red Sox tourists who take the T is amazing and the number of Red Sox tourists who have no idea how to navigate the subway system is even more astounding. (It's really not that difficult.) This makes for slower trains, little kids screaming, and adults who probably have a bit of alcohol in them, angry that they don't know how to get back to their car and more annoyed by the fact that someone is touching them on the overcrowded trains. And I just want to get home at night. So I put my ipod on, close my eyes, and take a deep breath. On nights of a game, it takes me more than an hour to get from MIT to the green C line. I could probably walk home from rehearsals in that time. Ok, I'm really done complaining. I promise. On the upside, I completed the BU opera program. Amazing. I learned more in two weeks than I did all semester - ok, maybe not, but just as much. Sondra Kelly, resident mezzo at the Met. Opera in NYC, was fantastic. Really demanding, but incredibly knowledgable and a great teacher. We re-worked my entire fall audition package, staged 3 of my 6 fall audition arias, worked on not over-opening my jaw, and drilling the dental T's, double consonants, and rolled R rules of the Italian language. I was honored when at the end, she gave me a list of programs that she thought I was ready to audition for this fall. I have a list of about 14 auditions to get ready for this fall and I'm scared to pieces. There are some big auditions on that list and upon looking at the website to see who was in the programs currently, I almost fell over at their individual credits. Part of me wants to run away and hide for a couple years until I feel ready...and the other part of me wants to go out there and sing my little coloratura voice out, and make people believe that I can do this. I think I will go with the latter. A Little Night Music is going well. I really begrudge Sondheim for his complicated rhythms and ever-changing rhythms, but I think we'll be ok. It's getting better. Less than a month until production!!! | | |
| I'm tired, but can't really fall asleep...but life continues...music mostly.... I quit the ICA. Kind of sad, but very exciting...this is because I have enough offers for paid singing gigs and shows this summer!!! YANK opened and closed at the BCA to good audiences. It went very well and was reviewed well. As always, I continue learning from every show I'm in. This particular show stretched me in more ways than one. It's a rather dark show in my opinion; as in not much uplifting in it - based on Eugene O'Neil's "The Hairy Ape". The main character, Yank, is a stoker on the liners in the NYC port and has searched his whole life to find a place to belong. He finally finds it working in the bottom of the ship...until one day when a rich little white girl goes down into the stoke hole to see "how other half lives" (meaning the poor). She is horrified and faints at the sight of Yank and from here on, Yank is angry at the way she made him feel that day. He goes out into the world to find where he belongs and no matter where he turns, he doesn't fit in. I won't give away the ending, in case you ever want to read the play, but it's not very happy. I played a character that shows up in every scene, in every place where Yank turns trying to fit in. I played a rich brainwashed church-goer, a prostitute, and a snobby leader of the IWW, and in the end, part of the zoo. These characterizations really stretched me as an actor. Like I've mentioned before, I'm always the ingenoue, or sometimes the coloratura pant role, but most often, the cute, bubbly personality onstage. I've never had to be so mean, so snobby, or so vulgar. I definitely could not do this show forever, but was enjoyable in a way - to access a set of emotions and personalities that I've had very little oppurtunity to experiment with onstage. I'm not saying that I would ever want to be those people, or that personality, in real life, but there is a satisfaction to being able to play versatile roles. Not just that, but there was "meat" to these individual characters that was so interesting to explore and really grab hold of and play, rather than the bubbly person, that really, resembles the more real-life me than anything. I am also happy to announce that I was able to excercise my low register in this show. Now it's onto "A Little Night Music" being presented in the MIT theatre at the beginning of August. I am ashamed to admit that I know nothing about this show and only after a full read through tonight (or sight-read through for me since I missed the first week of rehearsals due to YANK), have I begun to figure out the storyline. auditioned for the role of Anne since it was the only character listed as a soprano on the list of characters at the open auditions. Upon my casting offer, I was told that while Anne could be a good fit, the directors thought that I would enjoy the role of Mrs. Nordstrom (a narrator of sorts) better since she sings a lot and Anne doesn't sing much at all, except for a rather low solo entitled "Soon". Given the choice, I opted for the role of Mrs. Nordstrom...only later being told by everyone and their mother that I was crazy to turn down the lead role of Anne. But, I am happy with what I chose. Mrs. Nordstrom's tessitura is much higher and this quintet of narrators sing waaaay more than anyone else in the show, plus the directors gave me some lines and other random scenes to do. I'm discovering that Sondheim is way harder than he looks on the page. I've never actually sung Sondheim before, but I've heard him and he doesn't sound so hard. Maybe it's just this show, maybe not. There are some crazy harmonic things he does and the tempos, registers, and rhythm can be a bit extreme for a Broadway show. Plus, he likes to repeat things and change them slightly each time. Very annoying. But nonetheless, it's a catchy show with catchy music, a twisted love triangle for a plot. The cast is coming from all sorts of places, so it'll be fun to work with all them. Ohh, I've also been asked (and scheduled) to sing on the summer concert series of New England Light Opera in July. The only sad thing is I think I'm going to have to cancel due to rehearsals for A Little Night Music.....still figuring that one out.... I'm getting very sleepy....maybe I should call it quits for tonight.... | | |
| Sometimes I think I'm too much of a perfectionist. Actually, I know this to be true. The fact that I go crazy when my closet isn't in order by color and description of item (skirt, dress, blouses, sweaters, jackets...), is a good first indication. But then there are unacceptable things, like a tipsy music director who forgets a cue during a performance. Yes, this did happen to me, and yes, this is unforgivable. But where is that line between ok and excessive? This is the question that I ask as I examine life at the moment. I completed my first year of grad school and as I look back over the year, I realized that I have learned and accomplished so much. I have lots more to do and learn, but this year was a good start. I have a different voice than I did 9 months ago. It's more consistent, it's 3 times bigger, I've learned body awareness. My stage presence has grown due to performing every day on a stage. Donna has called me "the biggest improvement of the year". I'm working on arias that I never thought possible. I now have two complete operas and a full lead role in a Boston company on my resume. I've got about 2-3 auditions that I'm doing a week. I'm getting calls to sing paid gigs. I got into 3 different opera programs for the summer. I finally selected the one at BU for the summer, working with Sondra Kelly, from the Met. Opera. I've also just got into a show that opens in two weeks at the Boston Center for the Arts. I'm working with David Gram and Sam Bernstein, backed by Phillip Gutter, the director of the Tony Awards in NYC. It's a brand new show and it's world premiere is in two weeks. Pending what the NY critics say who are flying up, the show will go on from here. It's a 10-person cast from all over the country and so exciting to work in this setting with this level of professionalism. Each of us brings something different to the cast and the show and watching it evolve is really exciting. And who knows what will come next! I don't list all these recent things to be a shrine unto myself. It's encouraging that I am making some kind of headway in this business, but the examples above are what has come out of a great deal of hard work, rejection, and just plain chance. In these examples, perfectionism is part of the game. You have to strive to be perfect in what you do - rhythm, tone, diction, interpretation, technique, pitch. Diligence of practicing after a long day of classes. Continuing to give 110% in rehearsal at 11pm - long after your body decided it was too tired. Doing all the hard work behind the scenes. This is expected. But what happens when the perfectionism, the pressure, and the expectations of your career leak into the rest of your life? I can organize and plan every last minute of my day, and even be anal about it, but life will always take its course no matter how well you try to plan it. And really, you can't be the perfect person to everyone. This is a lesson that seems to keep coming back at me. My voice teacher tells me one things, my coach tells me another. One friend wants to meet for tea, my director calls another rehearsal. Two friends call at the same time, both with some crisis that they need to talk about. This lesson was most poignant in my Boston Singers' Resource auditions - it wasn't an audition for any one thing, just for feedback from three of the top opera people in Boston on different aspects of your performance. One juror LOVED me, one didn't like me AT ALL, and one thought I had good potential. I continue to fight the battle of the business and deal with my own perfectionism and desire to succeed. For example, I recently did an audition for an opera company that requested arias only after 1925. I didn't have anything after 1925 prepared soon enough for the audition and under the advice of my teacher, we decided it was better to be heard than not sing at all due to a preference of date in repertoire. This proved to be a bad idea. While I sang a good audition, I was thrown out with a cold "thank you" because I didn't have the rep. they wanted to hear. Could they have overlooked that fact if they liked me enough? One would think. Or how about the girl who sings no better than me, but had the connections and is now singing at the Met? Or what about my fellow sopranos at Longy who have professional opera companies on their resumes and are being told to go for the big auditions in NYC and Germany? At this, I have to remind myself that everyone is on their own journey in life, musically or otherwise. I have to remind myself that I just turned 23 - and the average age of people at auditions, and even at Longy are between 28-33. And I'm just venturing into this crazy performance world where nothing is fair and everything is all about the "business". Does this mean that I shouldn't continue to strive for perfection? No - of course I will. I will absolutely be the best I can be when it matters the most. But I am trying to relax and learn that this journey takes time - and I have to be patient. Just because I'm not at the Met yet doesn't mean I won't ever be. Just because I can't sing the last run of The Queen of the Night's aria in one breath doesn't mean I won't achieve it next week. And one missed audition today may mean I have time to accept a different show in another month. Progress and experience take time, and I'm learning this, slowly but surely. Until then, I'm learning how to balance my dreams, my career, and the rest of life. I shouldn't have to kill myself to be absolutely perfect in every area of my life all the time. Because no is. So I can relax if rehearsal goes an hour late and I can't finish cleaning out my email inbox. There's always tomorrow. | | |
| My first year of grad school has flown by. With the exception of two more masterclasses, one more acting class, and a analysis composition to hand in, I'm done. I have learned so much. And it's kind of scary to think that next year will go by just as fast, if not faster.... I have spent the majority of my last month in rehearsals for Die Fledermaus (Johann Strauss) and Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. Die Fledermaus went well - it was somewhat of a chaotic tech week, but then what tech weeks aren't? Our conductor was Federico Cortese, a Italian conductor who was extremely demanding, but a brilliant conductor and musician who really put on a good production. I would love to work with him again. We played two nights to a full house and a very appreciative audience. Though I was just in the ensemble, I thoroughly enjoyed the music, the process, working with incredibly talented lead roles, directors, and coaches, and the final product. Pirates of Penzance goes up in a week! This has been more of a rough process than I anticipated, however, I have also learned a great deal from this production. Our director, Leo Nickole, is brilliant and was a rather famous NY director in his time. I know I've mentioned him before. I respect him a great deal and what he's done with this production...but he's in his 80's. (I KNOW!) This means he's a brilliant, crotchy, forgetful, genius....which makes him less than ideal to work with 3 nights a week. Tech week will be hell, but I know that in the end, this whole production will be so rewarding. Mabel has been such a fun role to play! Performances are May 9-18, if you are interested! I have finally figured out my summer...well, kind of. Ha. I turned down the Salzburg Young Artist Program as well at the Florida Young Artist Program. Salzburg was so expensive and in Florida I would be working with a lot of the same people that I work with year round here in Boston. I auditioned for an Equity Broadway company and was called back for both Sandy and Frenchy in Grease and Philia in Forum. I made all the callback cuts (7 hours worth!), but was not on the final cast list. A bit confused, but then realized this is the way the business works and clearly God had something better in mind. And He did. I just found out the other day that I got into a program working with Sondra Kelly, from the Met. Opera!! I'm really excited because it's going to really solidify a lot of technical and musical things while working on my audition package for all my fall auditions. Plus it's good connections. That won't be my entire summer, of course, so I'll still be working at the Boston ICA, giving voice lessons, and hopefully studying with a coloratura technician from the Boston area. | | |
| Oh my gosh. I can't even tell you where February went....life is so exciting! I auditioned for another production of Pirates of Penzance....I know, I know...people either love this show or they hate it and my own mother can't understand why I want to play Mabel so badly. But it's one of the top English operetta coloratura roles and really, it's just so fun to sing her. So after two auditions this year for the role, I finally got it!! (and really, only two auditions for a single role is really not bad.) I'm in a company that has been newly started by Leo Nickole, a NY director in his time, former musical theatre professor at Emerson, and now he's a genuis older man who has so much to offer and is now pursuing his own theatre company. It's not a professional company by any means, but I'm really excited to work with Leo and finally play this role. I'm also finding it quite refreshing to work with really good community members - people who do theatre for the pure enjoyment of it and who haven't been jaded by the business. But nonetheless, Leo expects a lot out of me. He treats me like a professional. On the first rehearsal, he expected that I had learned the role (not memorized), had done the historical research, and had a concept of my character and her relationships. Thank goodness I met his expectations! And it paid off, too. He recommended me to fill in last minute for a musical revue benefit concert in Boston that had just lost one of their lead sopranos. He handed me two arias and said dress rehearsal was on Thursday. So needless to say, I've been frantically learning these pieces and preparing for the dress rehearsal of a concert that I know nothing about. Performance is this Friday, March 7th. Crazy? yes. Part of the business? yes. Especially if you want to succeed. Meanwhile, back at Longy, we completed February operascenes and have now jumped head first into rehearsals for our full production of Die Fledermaus. The scenes went well, but it was definitely a stress filled few weeks as we all learned more music than we knew what to do with and put together two programs in less than 4 weeks. But being an opera singer, or any kind of performer really, it's important to realize that it is as much about the process as it is the actual performance, right? Die Fledermaus goes up at the end of April and I am just in the chorus, which I am thankful for. I have so much going on and this particular opera is heavy on the chorus roles, so there's still a lot of involvement. Also, I applied and was granted an audition time slot for the Boston Singer's annual auditions. This means I get 4 minutes (no more, no less), to present two aria excerpts to 40 different opera directors around the northern East Coast. If I do well, I may get an invite to come back to a more select audition in the fall and if I do realllly well, I may get invites to audition for certain operahouses. I'm in the midst of trying to choose contrasting coloratura repertoire that represents what I can do in 4 minutes. So, that's life. In between trying to make sure my rehearsals and my performances don't conflict, memorize more music that my brain can remember, learn my career roles, perfect my vocal technique, fulfill Longy Master's requirements, schmooze the rich people at my job (Institute of Contemporary Art), and somehow keep up with the people in my life, I breathe. And I love every minute of it. | | |
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