WHERE IS THE REEEEENT???

Wow, I haven’t updated my Xanga for over three months! I guess that’s starting to become more and more routine. Well, it appears it is time to pay my Xanga rent once again, so enjoy!

TOMAHAWK CHOP

First off, I’d like to congratulate the Florida State Seminoles for their trouncing of those one-hit wonder UCLA Bruins in the Emerald Bowl. The final score was 44-27, and it would’ve been more lopsided had FSU’s running back not stumbled on the pitcher’s mound. OK, that didn’t really happen, but yes, the game was played in a baseball stadium… the stadium for those disgusting San Francisco Giants, no less. Nothing worse than playing a bowl game in a baseball stadium than, well, losing that game.

You might be asking, “Man, BH, it’s the holidays. Why all this spite? Isn’t it time to move on from the USC-UCLA game?”

You see, I’d like to. I really would. Except that I just recently saw this headline from the Korean newspaper sitting on my dad’s desk that got my blood boiling again:

University of Shocked Children?????  Could there possibly be a stupider headline? Someone should lose their job over this. No, I demand that someone gets fired over this! How did this farce of a headline get written up and slip past the editor before getting printed? The only possible explanation I can think of is that Han Kook Ilbo and Morning Glory merged into one company, and the newspaper decided to hire the writers of that wonderful Korean stationary that Morning Glory sells in their stores. You know, those cards and notepads that display such literary gems such as “So white smile makes you happy” and “Dream are my reality. A different kind of reality. I dream of loveing in the night”? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were behind that whole “Be the Reds” campaign either.

GYM RAT

As you could tell, I was quite irritated. In order to alleviate this pent-up rage, I decided to go to the gym. I went with my cousin for the first time. He’s bulked up quite a bit since his prepubescent days as a fat kid. I was quite impressed with his work ethic and how much he could lift. In fact, the gym has a chest press machine that allows you to adjust the weight using + or – buttons on the handles. I used it after my cousin and I had to really decrease the weight in order to even start lifting. I think I had to put it to the setting that has a silhouette of a little girl skipping rope. But of course after I was done, I made sure to increase the weight to its maximum so the next guy that used it would think I was a beast.

 Fake the funk

When I told a friend that I was impressed with my cousin’s routine, he suggested that I use my cousin as my personal trainer. That was laughable for two reasons: First off, in order to be a personal trainer, you have to have a balanced combination of amiable motivator and a-hole dictator. My cousin lacks the latter, and is way too nice for his own good. When we were kids, whenever he caught a fly in the house, he would never kill it. He would take it outside in his cupped hands and release it, allowing the disgusting bug the freedom to sunbathe on dog feces or whatever it is that flies enjoy doing…. (OK, I just made that story up… he never saved flies. He’d probably just eat them if he caught them). But that’s beside the point. He’s too nice to be a personal trainer. His approach to getting me to do some exercises would be the dating equivalent of a guy going up to a girl and saying, “Can you pleeeeeeeeeeease, pretty please, go out on a date with me?” Chances of success are minimal at best.

Secondly, my cousin is 3 years younger than me. So that deference factor is non-existent. Sure, I respect that he can lift more than me, but because of the Korean age hierarchy, that just means I can command him to help me carry my large Ikea purchases.

 A family going to my cousin's gym.

In fact, my cousin tried to motivate me, even instruct me, to do some exercises yesterday. He was not successful. There was sit-up equipment that got freed up. He suggested that I use it to do some sit-ups. I said ‘no thanks’ as I leisurely pedaled on a bicycle that wasn’t going anywhere in particular. There was a stupid pull-up contrapment that my cousin looked absolutely silly using. He told me to just do 5 reps on it. I felt content on doing 2. My cousin encouraged me to run the remaining 20 minutes of the hour non-stop. I ran for 15 minutes and walked the last 5 in order to watch the end of the Lakers game displayed on the TV set over the running machines.

Hey, at least I’m trying, right? But I must admit that it’s a little disheartening to know that if my cousin and I got into a physical confrontation that I would most likely have to hit him in the back of the head with a stick. Because he’s family, ya know? And you don’t do that to family. Otherwise, it’s a completely legitimate method of winning a fight. Right, Mr. McSorley?

  Watch yo' back when you go ice skating, little cousin.

SEPHORA COUPON

Ladies, you owe me big time for posting this for you. My sister alerted me to this crazy 60% off Sephora coupon she actually used successfully in the store. She said she thought it was an e-mail scam but printed it out and tried to use it in the event it was legitimate. Sure enough, it’s legit. Just click here and print it out and enjoy the savings! Happy Holidays!    

Currently Watching Murderball By Joe Bishop (III), Dave Willsie, Keith Cavill, Scott Hogsett, Christopher Igoe, Andy Cohn, Kevin Orr (II), Bob Lujano, Joe Soares, Mark Zupan see related

PATHETIC

People have been asking...nay, begging, me to update my Xanga. In order to appease the masses for at least another month, I offer up this Xanga sacrifice. (Don't say I never get you guys anything )

Last week for lunch, I ate at Xi'an (pronounced "Shee-Ahn"), a gringo-fied Chinese restaurant located right by my work. I have no complaints about the food, which is quite tasty. But the fortune cookies leave much to be desired. The actual cookies are fine. The fortunes inside, however, could lead a depressed man to the edge of a bridge.

The typical "fortune" that you would find in fortune cookies is a positive message that plays to your strengths. In fact, the fortune is usually more of a compliment than a prophecy of what is going to happen in your immediate future. When you eat a fortune cookie, then follow it up by reading its self-affirming fortune, it brings you two distinct but related sources of happiness. It's the equivalent of being pleased with the quality of your hotel room, then finding a chocolate mint on the pillow.  Both pleasant, both uplifting.

Getting a fortune cookie at Xi'an, on the other hand, is something pleasant (eating the cookie) followed by an unexpected blow to your self-esteem (reading the fortune). I liken it to getting a relaxing massage, followed by the masseuse administering a painful ddong-chi as the finale. A few weeks ago when I ate at Xi'an, I actually got a fortune that said "Know your limitations." What is that!?!?  It's like the advice of a bitter mother-in-law wrapped up in a deceptively sweet pastry.

So it was of no surprise that I received the following fortune in my last cookie:

My first reaction was to say (to the cookie), 'Maybe if eating fortune cookies wasn't so fattening, I wouldn't have to change my exercise routine, smart guy.' But after the anger subsided, I decided to reflect upon my health and my current exercise routine. The closest thing I've had to exercise recently was playing catch with DanSong, and only if you count me jogging down the hill to retrieve the balls that sailed over my head. And I think the last time I ran full speed was two weeks ago, when one of my co-workers e-mailed the whole office informing us that the last Sprinkles cupcake was up for grabs in the kitchen. So needless to say, I needed help.

So believe it or not, I bit the bullet and joined.......

Not only that, I get five sessions with a personal trainer. The trainer who is assigned to me is a Hispanic guy named Diego, who was relatively nice, but clearly disappointed I wasn't a leggy blonde with an hourglass figure that he can get sweaty with. My ego didn't take a hit, however, as I take solace in knowing I'd be a prized possession in any maximum security penitentiary.

In anticipation of my first session, the gym instructed me to eat sensibly for the rest of this week. I've heeded their advice as no chili OR cheese were put on my Johnny Rockets hot dog and fries today. It was tough to resist, but I am all about the will power. I'm sure my trainer will be pleased.

I've got some truly amusing friends.

I recently went to my law school friend's place for a get-together. She lives in an apartment complex in Gardena. She lives in "Unit G." When I told her that it was easy to memorize the unit she lived in, she looked at me blankly. I said, "You know, 'cause of 'G-Unit.'" She still looked at me blankly. "You know, 50 Cent? The rapper? That's the name of his crew." Laughing, she finally replied, "Ohhh, I don't know any of that stuff. I'm so not hip. The only rapper I know is the Mysterious F.A.T."

Not F.A.T., just B.I.G. boned

Bwahahahahahahha!!!    How priceless is that? I couldn't make that one up if I tried.

My college buddies are also pretty amusing. Recently, we all went to a friend's wedding. At the wedding, she had a professional photographer who was set up in the corner with a prom-style background so people could have their pictures taken. Most people took group photos with the people they came with. As I perused through the photos on the website a week later, I noticed one of the thumbnails was of two guys trying to act cool. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, I clicked to enlarge the photo. To my horror, the large photo confirmed that those two dorks were indeed my good college buddies:

 My "cool points" dropped 10 points by association.

Man, I still laugh every time I see that photo. How did the photographer keep from laughing long enough to take a still shot?

Lastly, church friends can be funny as well.

Rather than describe the scenario to you, let me ask you a question:

If you were out with your friends at a nationally televised baseball game and a foul ball came near your section, would you (A) try to catch the foul ball like any normal human being? or (B) act like complete idiots knowing the camera will pan on you?

Was there any doubt?  

(Apologies for the blurry video... can't get it any better than that. Treat it like a live action "Where's Waldo?")

Currently Watching Entourage - The Complete Second Season By Kevin Connolly, Adrian Grenier, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Debi Mazar, Jeremy Piven see related

XANGA UN-LOCKED

As some of you may have already discovered, I have decided to remove "Xanga Lock" from my webpage. Why?

First of all, friends without Xanga accounts have been complaining that they cannot read my blog.

Second, the number of random Xanga users who may stumble across my page has already been minimized by my membership in only those blogrings my friends are in. (So worst case scenario, a friend of a friend will stalk my site. I don’t mind.)

And lastly, the number of readers and hits on my page have dipped lower than Gary Coleman competing in a limbo contest. I am suddenly craving that lost attention. So, Xanga stalkers... you win. Stalk away! The Lock has been lifted. In exchange, how ‘bout being a good sport and giving me a few additional eProps?

The weather is unbearable. After spending any lengthy period of time outside, I find myself sweating more than Whitney Houston after a live, on-stage rendition of "I Will Always Love You." You know what I mean, sweat beads forming on my face and neck, skin becoming damp, heat-induced fatigue.

 Here come the water works...

The heat wave would be tolerable if it only occurred during the day. But this is not the case. I wake up every morning wondering if I had unwittingly competed in a wet t-shirt contest the night before.

 I was the runner-up to this guy.

To add insult to injury, my sweat-drenched attempts at getting a good night’s rest are further hindered by the fact that I still have the lingering effects of this dang cold. This cold has been with me for quite a few weeks now. I feel the need to apologize publicly to Dan Song, my roommate, who has been forced to hear my boisterous coughs nightly through the thin walls dividing our rooms. OK, OK, fine.... through the thin sheets of our bed.

But being sick isn’t all bad...it can be a source of unintentional humor as well. Having this cold reminded me of how Korean parents will unabashedly lie about anything and everything if the proper opportunity presents itself. My mom comes into my room the other day with cut-up mangos. I tell her that I don’t have much of an appetite because I’m feeling under the weather. And you know what she says to make me eat it? [in Korean] "The mango is the number one fruit to heal sore throats." LOL!!! Talk about pulling something out of one’s posterior! So in my head, I’m thinking, ‘My mom is a big, fat liar.’ Funny how the Asian pear was the number one fruit for colds last September, and the watermelon was the number one fruit for colds just last month in accordance with their peak seasons. Normally, I would let it go, but I called my mom out on it. "Where did you hear that?" I asked. She replies, "In the newspaper and on the radio."

That only made me laugh harder. Because I know the newspaper she’s referring to is the Han Kook Ilbo, and the radio station is undoubtedly Radio Korea. This is the same newspaper and same radio station that is responsible for my dad drinking potato smoothies every morning for the last two years. That’s right, raw potatoes in a blender, ladies and gentlemen. Can you imagine how mocked those two media outlets would be if the rest of America caught on to their health recommendations? It’s the equivalent of my dad walking into a diner and being asked, "Sir, do you want fries and a shake with that order?" And my dad replying, "Yes, but make sure you mix them together... for health purposes."

 Health food?

Speaking of my dad, here’s a really random, but humorous, story about him that took place a couple of years ago. For those of you who don’t know, my father works as a swap meet vendor on the weekends, selling men’s clothing. His exposure to swap meet prices have made him a bargain snob. For example, I could get a t-shirt at Old Navy and proudly announce to him that it was only $4.99, and he’d probably snort and say he could’ve found a similar looking shirt for $2 at the swap meet (never mind that the shirt he finds would likely dissolve in the rain).

One Sunday afternoon, he comes home and shows me and my sister his newest bargain purchase: a pair of shoes for only $8. But these weren’t any normal shoes: they were low-top, black suede shoes that are popular among the Latino gangster community of East Los Angeles.

 That's my papi!!!!

And this is the best part. Guess what the brand name of the shoes was? Homeboy Shoes!!!!  I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I wanted to!

At first I’m horrified because I thought he bought them for me to wear. I tell him I already have a pair similar to those, figuring that if he needed proof, I could always take a pair down from the electric wires of any impoverished block in the city.

But to my surprise (and amusement), he announces that he bought them for himself!!! At this point, I’m more giddy than the time I noticed my dad selling "Players 69" jerseys without knowing the meaning of them.

Hoping to see my dad dress up like a cholo, I tell him that the shoes look really cool without looking "too young." My dad looks at me suspiciously, and directs his attention to my sister, the fashion guru. Completely ignoring my recommendation, he asks my usually candid sister what she thinks of him sporting the Homeboys. Either my sister was completely apathetic that day, or she, too, thought it would be funny to see my dad wearing those shoes, cuz she replied, "They’re nice." Success!!!

So for the next few weeks, my dad walked around the city looking like an extra from the movie "Mi Vida Loca." At some point, I think my dad caught on that he was out of his element wearing those shoes and stopped. I don’t know what triggered it, but I’d like to think that he stopped only after numerous members of the 18^th Street Gang complimented him on his footwear.

I wanted to take a picture of the shoes for you guys, but my dad recently informed me he gave them away to his Chinese friend, which I found even more humorous since that friend looks a lot like former Los Angeles Councilman Michael Woo:

 Miguel Woo

Imagining him carrying on the Homeboy tradition in the heart of Chinatown makes me smile.

No comment necessary.

 I feel ya, kid. I feel ya.

Currently Listening The Audience's Listening By Cut Chemist see related

LAST WEEK

What a rough week it has been. Not only did I have major deadlines at work, but the partners all decided to take an early leave for the 4^th of July weekend, so I had no guidance in the preparation of most of my work. To top it all off, I was so sick that I did all of the following during the work week:

1. Ate more pills than food each day;

2. Walked up to the front desk about three times, all three times forgetting why I had walked up in the first place; and

3. Attempted to splash cold water on my face, forgetting that I was still wearing my glasses.

Praise God for this 4-day weekend. It couldn’t have come sooner for me. I feel refreshed enough to update my stagnant Xanga page.

PREPARATION FOR THE ROOMMATE

As most of you probably know, my good friend, Daniel, is all set to move in during the Hollywood Bowl season. He will be moving into my sister’s old bedroom. Ever since my sister moved out a couple of years ago, the room has gone largely unused. Most of my sister’s things have never been removed from the room. So I was a bit concerned that the room would be too feminine for Daniel’s taste. However, to my surprise, the room is perfectly arranged for any grown man to reside in.

The Bed

Nothing says "masculine" like ruffles and pastel colors on your blanket. As an added bonus, the comforter also has flowers on them. Lots and lots of flowers... although I can’t be sure, I believe they are roses. As an added bonus, it says "Lee Hwa" across the top of the blanket. Lee Hwa could be the name of the company that made the blanket, but I’d like to think it represents its direct translation from Korean to English: "Pear Flower." Cuz that’s what you are, Dan Song. You will always be my pear flower.

Wall Decorations

Can’t get enough of those flowers? Then you’re in luck. The walls are full of them!

The first is a poster of a Claude Monet painting (I’ve heard that Monet is the favorite artist of Chuck Norris). The second is a poster of a Jan van Huysum painting (I’ve heard that van Huysum is the favorite artist of Mike Tyson). And the third is a photo of some potpourri hanging outside of your new closet door. (Flowers that are rough and dry, just like a manly man’s skin).

Wallpaper

Nothing represents the pure animal nature of man like some big bad grizzly bears. Your walls will be full of them. Also, don’t forget that some of the manliest pro sports teams have bears as mascots: The Chicago Bears, the Chicago Cubs, the Memphis Grizzlies. I don’t quite know why some of the bears on your wallpaper are wearing skirts. Perhaps the wallpaper was manufactured in Scotland, and those aren't skirts, but rather manly kilts.

Action Figures

Dan, there are three action figures that will be throwing you an awesome homewarming party. They will also protect and watch over you throughout the night:

(From left to right: The Bowtie Bandit, Spike the Wondermutt, and Ivan the Red). I can’t imagine anyone messing with you when these three intimidating figures got yo’ back.

I hope the above assures you that your masculinity won’t be compromised by inhabiting a room that formerly belonged to a female. Can’t wait for the slumber party to begin, roomie!

RANDOM PHOTOS OF THE WEEK

Above are photos taken by the Hubble Telescope. The first is of the Boomerang Nebula. The second photo is of Pluto and its moons. In layman’s terms, the foregoing photos can be described as "4^th of July fireworks for nerds."

The Associated Press photographed this mouse piggybacking a frog in the floodwaters of India. Incidentally, this is also my mother’s worst nightmare and the only "superpest" that could possibly give her a fatal heart attack.

Above is a photo of Prime Minister Koizumi of Japan doing his Elvis Presley impersonation while wearing Elvis sunglasses given to him by Priscilla and Lisa-Marie Presley, as President Bush looks on. Tune in next week to see former Philippines first lady, Imelda Marcos, do her uncanny Britney Spears impersonation after being presented with one of Britney’s belly chains.

This is an X-ray of a Pakistani prisoner, which revealed that someone had placed a light bulb inside him. This is either a heinous case of prisoner abuse, or someone’s clever way of telling him to "take his bright idea and shove it up his - - -!"

ANNOYING MUSIC

OK, the madness has to stop. Do you guys ever hear songs that make you cringe and you contemplate stabbing yourself in the ears to make it stop?

"Wannabe" by the Spice Girls haunted my eardrums in 1997 to the point I implored, "Won’t someone please tell them what they want, what they really, really want already!?!?". In 2005, it was double trouble for me, with those hip hop sellouts, the Black Eyed Peas, releasing "My Humps" (which were cancerous to the airwaves by the way), and the Pussycat Dolls releasing the girlfriend-insulting "Don’t Cha."

This year, I found a song that makes me wish I was "like a bird that’ll only fly away." Yes, it is Nelly Furtado and Timbaland’s "Promiscuous Girl."

 Make 'em stop!!!

How can anyone possibly like this song!?!? It is so annoying! I ask that everyone who agrees with me to help me in boycotting this song. When it comes on the radio, change the channel. Also, don’t purchase Nelly Furtado’s album. Don’t purchase any of Timbaland’s albums either.

In fact, let’s take it a step further. Let’s also boycott Timberland boots and clothing! Let’s also boycott Nelly (the rapper) and all Little House on the Prairie episodes that feature the Nelly Olsen character!

 Less annoying than Nelly Furtado

We have to nip these type of songs in the bud and this will send a definite message to the music industry! We can do it if we stick together, people! USA! USA! USA!

OK, I think I need sleep... hope everyone had a good 4th!  

Currently Listening Jesus Gave Me Water By The Soul Stirrers see related

"GOOD" FRIDAY?

It was a Friday afternoon about two weeks ago, that a co-worker and I had worked through lunch. Thankfully, I was able to complete my assignment by 2 p.m. My co-worker, however, was still slaving away at her insurmountable workload. I decided to go get food for the both of us and bring it back to the office.

It was drizzly that day, so I had to take an umbrella with me. I’ve never really had a problem with rain, and in fact loved it as a kid. I remember it wasn’t uncommon for me to sing one of two songs in the rain: either "Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face...." (Put on a Happy Face) or "Sunny day, sweeping those clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet..." (The Sesame Street theme song). In furtherance of my childhood nostalgia, what do I decide to get for lunch? Pizza, of course!

As I approach the pizza place, there is a sign out front advertising their daily lunch special: Ravioli + Salad + Drink for about $6. What a deal! That’s roughly the same price as two cheese slices. And I was practically raised on Ravioli as a kid, prepared by that world renowned culinary artist, Chef Boyardee. (You’re probably thinking, ‘Dude, you’re a lawyer. Pay the extra $3-4 dollars to get what you really want.’ But you have to remember, before my 3 years of being an attorney, I had a 25-year experience of being a Korean kid raised with immigrant values. So you know I’m gonna be saving me some money!)

So I order two specials, one with cream soda (my fave) and the other with apple juice in a glass bottle (for my co-worker). It was so much food that they put my order in a box for me to carry out. When I step outside, it starts to rain a bit harder. So I open and hold my umbrella with one hand while attempting to balance the box of food with the palm of my other hand. Big mistake. Looking like Mary Poppins failing a DUI test, I slipped on the slick pavement.

 Anyone can carry a bag... try balancing a box.

Although I successfully avoided chipping all of my front teeth on the sidewalk, the same can’t be said for the box of food. The ghost of Chef Boyardee, perhaps realizing I was straying from years of loyal patronage, knocked all of the ravioli to the floor, splattering marinara sauce all over my slacks in the process. The drinks fared no better, as my co-worker’s apple juice hit the concrete with a loud shatter, inviting everyone in the vicinity to turn and stare. Embarrassed, I quickly salvaged what I could (one order of ravioli and my cream soda) and powerwalked my way back to the office.

 Be afraid... be very afraid.

I gave the one remaining order of ravioli to my co-worker and then sat dejected at my desk, in no mood to eat. What a sight I must’ve been: a crumpled shell of myself, drenched with a combination of sweat, rainwater and tomato goop, with a dented can of cream soda by my side. But I was able to put things in their proper perspective: It just happened to be Good Friday that day, and I knew my ordeal was so insignificant and trivial. And it wasn’t all bad, I thought to myself. I had achieved a moral victory by salvaging my coveted cream soda. Having adequately cheered myself up, I decided to partake in my prize beverage.

Forgetting the can of soda had been rolling around the concrete not 5 minutes prior, I opened it, and the contents of the aluminum can did its best "Old Faithful" impersonation, spraying a geyser-like foam all over my face, desk, and laptop. It was the perfect cherry on top to a wonderful sequence of events.

 A&W Cream Soda

I believe everything happens for a reason, and that there is a lesson to be learned from every life folly. In this case, I went and bought food for a person who didn't have the time to get it herself, and I ended up dropping it all over myself. So I'm guessing the lesson to be learned here is Don't help people in need. Yeah, that sounds about right. 

If this had been an episode of Sesame Street, it was surely brought to me by the following letters:

(Anyone else see the irony in the object the letter "U" is represented by above?)

DODGERS

OK, what is wrong with the Dodgers?? Are they gonna be a sub-.500 team all year!? After starting the season averaging 7 runs a game, they can’t seem to get anything going offensively. Their pitching is also very lacking. We only have one stat that we can be proud of: We still lead the majors in dance moves.

Although the pitching coach, Rick Honeycutt, hasn’t been doing his job, thank goodness we hired Michael Flatley (Lord of the Dance) in the off-season to hone these athletes’ skill.

 Dodgers' Dancing Coach Michael Flatley...

 ...and his students. 

BARROID

And the Barry Bonds hate caravan rolls along.... below, I grade anti-Barry sentiments expressed by baseball fans in the month of April, based on effort, creativity and how much of an annoyance it is to Barry.

This fan tossed an empty syringe at Barry as he walked off the field. He gets big points for annoyance factor, but chucking something at someone while remaining anonymous in a sea of people is nothing short of cowardice. Grade F (if he had tossed a grenade, I may have considered giving him a passing grade.... j/k, calm down.)

I guess the easiest way to communicate your feelings is to write them out. There were a number of anti-Barry signs around major league ballparks this past month. Here are a couple at random:

These San Diegans get points for actually printing their signs out rather than handwriting them. This shows premeditation and effort. However, "Cheaters Never Prosper." That’s something out of a "School House Rock" episode. And "Run Barry Run"? Huh? Geniuses, he can’t run with those post-roid knees. And the reference to Forrest Gump is absolutely nonsensical. Grade: D

Hmmm... I like that it rhymes. I like the camaraderie of father and son (or boyfriend and boyfriend, not sure). But the guy on the right is wearing Giants gear so.... Grade: F

Why throw a syringe when you can be one? LOL. This Rockies fan actually constructed a costume so that he could look like a steroid-injecting needle.  Big ups for creativity and effort. He loses points, however, for not being in Barry’s line of sight. Also, I would hate to have this yahoo sitting in front of me at a ballgame. Grade: B

This Dodger fan is mocking Barry by pretending to inject himself with steroids where the sun don’t shine. He gets big points for creativity and improvisation. I like that he’s not dependent on the use of props. I like that he’s being a man and looking straight at Barry while doing it. I’m sure it annoyed Bonds plenty, in spite of what he may say on his self-indulgent television series. Well done, obnoxious Dodger fan, well done. Grade: A

So did all of this fan hazing help Barry to change his ways? Unfortunately, no. The guy just can't seem to stop using:

 Barry asks Steve Finley to inject him during batting practice

 Barry offers his injection services to J.D. Drew

BE HAPPY

That's all for now, everyone. Hope you all have a blessed, stress-free week!

Currently Listening Portrait of a Legend 1951-1964 By Sam Cooke (Track 18) see related