So I'm home...And it's been...well...not good so far. I mean it could be worse, but I've been kinda really discouraged cuz everything I do is wrong or an inconvience to my parents. I just don't get it. I really don't.

Anywho, I'm supposed to be substituting for my high school band director tomorrow through Friday. I sat in today and observed and played with the second group. But, I was in the office and my dad came in and didn't even acknowledge that I was there. Didn't even look at me. I dunno. Whatever. That didn't help considering I'm honestly scared to death of teaching. I mean I know a lot of the students and I'm capable of teaching them, I just get really nervous about this stuff. I'll be fine after tomorrow I think. I hope. In the meantime, I'd love to have a better break than I'm having right now...

Better day today. Got up and ate breakfast...even though I originally wanted to get up early to get to the SoM to get stuff done. But that's ok. So I ate breakfast with Chris, then went to Romantic History...left early so I could register, got that done and went and got my haircut. HECK YES. Finally. Looks so much better now. Got some lunch with Pike then chilled with her, Katie, Kaci, Thomas, and Zek til it was time for Chamber Winds. All we did was run through our piece so that was quite nice. Ate my Cocoa Krispies before 20th Century started. YAY. They were delicioso. I enjoyed them thoroughly. Omg. The music we listened to today was nothing short of insane. Not to say the other music in there isn't...but I was laughing EXTRA hard today. Wow. I left early so I could make it to dance rehearsal on time. But I had misplaced my keys and I had to wait for it to stop pouring outside...so I was late anyway. We got a smidge done, but we'll get more done tomorrow morning. I'm skipping my lesson to go do some more work on it. Should be good. For an hour. Then I'll have to play for Joey in Seminar. Eek. I'm hoping that it turns out a little better than Masterclass. It should. Tonight's run was much better. I got some good practicing done on Stacy's accompaniment. Oh get it. Chamber Winds concert wasn't too shabby tonight. It wasn't the best I'd ever played but whatever. It's over, no use in basking in the horror of it all anymore.

HA, funny. O'Shields said he got an email from someone with the SEC with details of hotel info and travel accomodations should we be playing in the title game...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Can you imagine? No. No you can't. Kentucky betta be workin' it somethin' serious this week, that's all I know. It's time to get crunk. They need to beat UGA like we beat UK last year in Bball. OOPS. Yes I said it. Teehee. Well, I'm out. I'm gonna get ready for bed, so I can function tomorrow. I got a lots to do...

So effing unproductive today. Pisses me off. I don't understand what my problem is. I really don't. I got up this morning and ate breakfast and went to Clarinet and Organization and then came back to my room to burn a CD for Choreography class. I accompanied for someone in Masterclass and I got negative criticism, even though I played my part well. I don't quite understand that either. I left in a rage. I don't play for people to get yelled at and to be insulted. I practice my parts all the time and I'm always careful to have them ready for performances. Amstutz can go shove it for all I care. Ineffective self. Then I went to choreography and I sat there the entire time b/c another girl was working on her piece and I'm not in that one, but the girl who needs me in hers is in the other one so I couldn't learn the dance. That was confusing. Sorry. I'm so frustrated right now. I have so much stuff to do, but I have no desire to do it, b/c it would mean I would have to stay up all night everynight until the end of the semester for everything to be the quality I would want it. So I might as well hang that up. I just don't wanna end another semester slackly (ha) as it feels like I do every other semester. I mean I'm pretty confident that I know what I'm doing and won't screw up this time...*sigh*...I dunno. And then I'm still having trouble with people. People that refuse to let things go and insist on trying to make me feel bad about things, but it's not gonna happen. I'm trying to get things done in my life and move on and it's like they don't want me to. It's really not fair. I'm tired of people throwing things on me all the time and attempting to put blame on me. I mess up sometimes, but this is just ridiculous.

Speaking of which, I don't want to go home for Thanksgiving. I haven't heard anything about us travelling and that scares me and kinda angers me. That means I'm gonna be bored at home with my parents and there and susceptible to getting yelled at for something I did wrong without even trying. I just wanna enjoy at least one month out of this year and it looks like that isn't gonna happen. I wanna think positively, but after what happened last time I went home...I just don't see the point. I'll just be in for more heartache...Happy times. I just want to be happy. That's all. Apparently that's too much to ask for...

So I'm gonna go to bed now and hope that tomorrow I get more done. I'll have a full day with a concert tomorrow evening. I hope I don't screw that up...Pray for me. Please.

Hmm...So Friday was an interesting day. I missed Guitar again. OOPS.  But of course I managed to make it to Fried Chicken Friday at the GMP. Smurf yeah. So anywho, after that I went to the SoM and hung out with Pike for a bit. Crazy girl. Doc comes up to me and asks me where his music is...dangit. I had forgotten it--in my dorm room. So I had to come back and get it. The entire trip took me 50 minutes. Yeah. At least I had enough time to get it though. So we went and played at the unveiling of the Veterans monument at the State House. Nice monument...didn't need that long of a ceremony...After that some of us rushed over to Katie Ipock's recital. Very good I must say. I enjoyed all of it...even though I was really exhausted. I came back to my room after that and got ready for "A Time to Dance" at the Koger Center. That was a lot better than what I thought it was gonna be. I was impressed. A little upset that it cost me $8, but oh well. I didn't have a choice, I had to go for my choreography class. So after that I went to Wendy's with Chris then ventured on over to Etiwan for the party. They were seriously trying to kill us with that PJ. I had two cups and I was definitely feelin'...GOOD. HA. WHOO! K, I'm done. So yeah...we beat Florida. Wow. Heck yeah. I'm so excited about the Clemsux game. 's gonna be a good one. I hope. I have a lot to do this week. *sigh* Makes me a little nervous, cuz I don't wanna forget to do anything. The only thing with writing it down is that I'm scared I'm gonna actually forget to write it down. Ha. I'll be fine. It's gonna be a busy one, though...

"I say all the right things at exactly the right times, but I mean nothing to you and I don't why."