I woke up this morning to a beautiful day that screams the glory of God.  And after talking last night in our young adult small group about worship and wonder I had to spend some time this morning just basking in the morning sun; quieting my heart and letting God speak.  I could not get this verse out of my mind.  It is in regards to something a gal in the group shared about the tendency we have of reluctantly asking for forgiveness with the knowledge (or fear) that we will sin again.  This verse speaks to that:

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:14-16

The line that kept running through my head was "approach the throne of grace with confidence."  Confidence. Because Jesus is who he said he was (sinless), we can approach his throne with confidence that his grace is sufficient for our sin.  It's a confidence in who He is, not who we are.  Confidence is not arrogance...we do not demand grace, we ask humbly.  Confidence is not the opposite of humility either.  Sometimes I come into God's presence beating myself up for my sin so that he won't have to.  This may sound bold but I think that God is disgusted when we impose our own sense of justice on ourselves that neglects his grace. Sometimes our most judgemental thoughts can be of ourselves. The perfectionist Christian is the most tortured soul in the Kingdom because he is the one who does not know the joy of receiving God's gift of forgiveness.  Perfectionism is selfishness disguised as virtue.  Perfectionists own their righteousness and continually ignore God's compelling love that asks us to let his righteousness be ours.  Perfectionists spend their lives living for God as if they don't need him.

And as much as I wish I was immune from this, this is the daily battle I face.  Not because I think i'm so good on my own, but because my flesh wants me to quit needing God.  My flesh tells me that the appropriate response to sin is self-pity, self-hatred, and self-deprivation.  All things self.  And God's truth says to approach the throne of grace with confidence in who He is so that we may receive mercy and find grace.