| | Haven't posted in a while...so here we go...
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Lord,
tear down everything I've built.
snatch everything i hold, up from me.
tear away every article of clothing,
i use to cover the scars on my body.
and sink this boat i stand upon
to keep me afloat in these dark waters.
Lord,
i want cling to nothing. Nothing God!
things i once clung to, sank by my weight.
and, Lord, i drowned.
i drowned many a time.
my lungs are filled
from gulping the musty waters.
a dark cloud has patched the sun,
and i can find no light.
the waves shroud any possible light
from the east or west
as they toss and arch high over my head.
my clothes are soaked with the tears of misery
because i cannot find you.
a strange cold has come over me,
one that encapsulates the entire body,
makiing your entire figure jolt into a state
that is frigid, and seems like it will never pass.
Lord,
my hands are claws,
my posture is hunched,
my feet squirm
searching for the seabed
in this vast ocean of despair.
i mewl for strength
to continue,
i wail for your return,
bawling out your name,
like a stricken dog waiting for it's master.
i cringe and beg, tearing at my eyes,
wishing to destroy the source of my tears.
i plunge my fingers, deep into the cavities of my ears,
wishing to flush the devil's remarks from my mind.
my fingers are raw and bleed.
they no longer have definition since i have torn at my self in desperation.
Lord, in one word i am:
lonely
since i do not have you.
and "lonely" can suggest a lot of ideas and experiences.
Lord, i give out this cry of help because i can no longer lie to myself.
i can no longer stare at the black void that You once filled.
there is a gaping wound that won't heal and continues to bleed, Lord.
my heart grows cold and festers because i have not allowed You to mend it.
i have seared every vein that once extended from body into yours.
from that i have damaged many things
and many people...
Lord, a man does not stand on his own two feet.
a man stands on the feet of God and You lead him in a waltz.
like a father leading his young son or daughter
to the tune being played by the band.
as my young, tiny, and frail fingers grip yours Lord,
I wonder in amazement...
at your large and mighty hands
in comparison to my own.
the defeaning valiant boom,
that echoes from the stepping of your feet,
as you round the dance floor,
demands an absolute silence from the crowd.
I stare down at my feet as they ride yours.
I notice the complicated and tangled knot on my own right sneaker,
that i refer to as a proper tie, in my own words.
and then glance over to the simplistic and neat knot on my left sneaker,
the one You tied,
that drapes in a bow shape, delicately resting upon the sides of my shoe.
Lord, I stare up into Your deep and tender eyes,
as they reach down into my vision.
they speak loving and comforting words into mine.
the sound of which arouses my heart into a churning river.
Lord, a light has awakened in me.
and a tear dribbles from my eye
as the interaction between our gazes lengthens.
my mouth quivers,
because I can no longer hold back
the rejoicing cries which will resound from it!
GOD, OH LORD, Thank you for choosing me as your son!
I was without one to raise me to be a man.
I had no figure to look up to in order that I might model myself after them.
I had no dad to brag to all my friends, that he was the strongest man ever alive!
and could take on the whole lot of their dads if they tried to gang up on him.
I had no hero to hoist me upon his shoulders, imagining myself to be a giant
that could snatch up every tree as if it were a twig.
and, Lord, I had no father to tuck me in at night, who would stroke my hair
and then kiss me gently on the forehead,
assuring and comforting me that no monsters would visit me tonight.
and he was conveniently only one room over if I needed to run to him,
to find security in the middle of the night.
but, Lord, I found You.
so Lord,
tear down everything I've built.
snatch everything i hold, up from me.
tear away every article of clothing,
i use to cover the scars on my body.
and sink this boat i stand upon
to keep me afloat in these dark waters...
and Lord raise me to be a Man,
a man like you!
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| | Posted 4/1/2006 8:59 PM - 1 view - 0 comments
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