Okay dear friends, I guess it's time for a new post so you don't have to scroll down "nine miles"  just to post a comment. LOL!

In case some of you may be wondering why there is so much time between my posts, it is because I am trying NOT to spend so much time on the computer. I have done pretty good since my last post and just get online to check email and manage a few household things. Sometimes I end up not getting on the computer for about two to three days. It has been an interesting experience that I am grateful for. I am now spending more time with my 4 year old Ivriah and our now 2 month old Lailah aka Ladybug.

Many people have been asking how the baby is doing. She is doing great. She is gaining weight just like a normal baby and getting plenty of vocal practice and lung exercise (if you know what I mean). She is a very good baby though. During the day she just sits and looks around. It's amazing watching her figure out how to control her hands and feet. She is starting to focus on things more and every now and then she actually smiles. She is just a sweet little baby.

There are many things changing around the Horton house. We now have 8 fish, 5 shrimp, and two turtles occupying our fish tank. They are a blast to watch. Especially the turtles and shrimp when you can find them. It's a lot of fun. It is definitely a big change in the "pet" world here because our dear Charlie (the dog) was stolen (along with his doghouse) about 2 weeks ago.  I had just started getting my strength back and the weather was getting nice enough for me to go out and play with him again and someone stole him right out of our backyard. Ugh! Oh well, I guess we'll just have to stick with the fish tank inhabitants for a while.

Anyway, I would like to ask all of you to pray for my family. My second cousin Raleigh Mcelroy was in a fatal semi accident in Florida early this week. Another semi truck driver pulled out in front of him from the side of the road along Interstate 10. Of course, there was not enough time for my cousin to stop and there were cars in the next lane over so he couldn't change lanes. He ended up smashing his cabin into the back of the trailer in front of him. His cabin was crushed along with him inside and he died instantly. Please, pray for his brothers and the rest of our family. Raleigh was taking care of 5 children at the time, three of his wife's kids and two that he and his wife had adopted. The last time we heard from Raleigh he was talking about how much he was dreading taking this load and that he really didn't want to have to do it. I'm guessing he needed to work for the financial gain and that is why he took the load. This was a reminder to me of how important it is to have a close relationship with God so that I can hear and recognize His voice.

Well, that is all I can post for now. Ladybug just woke up so I better go get her taken care of. Please keep us in your prayers and I will be posting pictures of the baby as soon as I can.

Friends-

I would like to first say that God is so good!  This year started out pretty normal as nothing really "dramatic" was going on in me and Chad's life. Of course, for a year or so he and I had been trying to get pregnant and have another child. We were getting discouraged thinking we weren't going to be having any more children when after over a year of trying we finally got a positive pregnancy test result the week before Mother's Day. Through all the excitement of becoming pregnant we were so NOT expecting the many trials, tribulations, and tests we were about to be put through. Ironically, it was Mother's Day when I first felt the signs and symptoms of being pregnant. My first and second pregnancies were pretty rough, but they were bearable. I had some issues with extreme nausea and weight loss in the first trimester and then things cleared up and the second and third trimesters were great. NOT SO this last time around. I kept a diary on MySpace (sorry y'all) that has most of the details of those trying times in it. Don't worry I'm not going to ask you to go there to read it because I've pasted it below. The last entry in my diary was on November 5th because that was around the time when things really got trying and I could barely keep up with myself half the time. So, read on...

Subject: Pregnant Again!!

Yes, yes, yes! It's true. Chad (I love this man) and I are having our 3rd child. I feel blessed. It has been a long road coming to 19 weeks (4 1/2 months) but I am glad to be here. This will be our last child though, unfortunately, due to the extreme health circumstances that I have had to endure just to keep this child alive. For those of you who like to follow these kinds of events, here's what my life has been like since Mother's Day.

Mother's Day - first feelings of nausea, dizziness, discomfort (oh the irony)

June 1st - admitted to Good Shepherd for dehydration caused by hyperemesis gravidorum (don't think I spelled that right) which is extreme nausea and vomiting

June 2nd - still not keeping anything down, had tube inserted through nose down into stomach to be tube fed (totally sucked) only to have it fall out that night (also totally sucked)

June 3rd - able to keep food/liquids down FINALLY

June 4th - went home

June 14th - 1st doctor's appointment, had ultrasound, got to see the little peanut in my belly for the first time, man his/her heart was beating fast. The little booger wouldn't hold still to get a good picture. Luckily the ultrasound tech knew what she was doing, and we got a pretty good one anyway.

June 27th - Return of the nausea, doctor admitted me to Good Shepherd again. I refused tube feeding (it sucked the first time, HELLO??!!) so they resorted to trying different combinations of medicine.

June 28th - Decided to give medicine by continuous drip through IV line. Seemed to be working, started keeping foods/liquids down again.

June 29th - Med Shop came and inserted needle right below left collar bone to have medicine directly given through portable medicine pump and I was sent home to be monitored and assisted through Home Health Care.

July 3rd - First visit from Home Health Nurse to change site in which needle was inserted. Reported vitals to doctor, AND ONCE AGAIN, I was seriously dehydrated due to (you guessed it) extreme nausea and vomiting all weekend. Was sent to Good Shepherd ER at 4:45pm to be admitted.

July 4th - At 1:00AM (still in ER) was finally admitted to hospital and taken to Labor and Delivery wing to my room. Doctor ran out of suggestions for medicine that would help my condition and only other alternative was THE TUBE. So, hesitantly, I allowed them to insert the feeding tube back into my nose and routed down into my stomach (still sucked) to be fed again. Sadly, I spent the rest of the 4th of July watching parades, concerts, and fireworks on TV.

July 5th - Still not able to eat/drink anything, so I was just tube fed.

July 7th - Started keeping cream soups down, but that was it.

July 8th - Started keeping milk and coffee down.

July 9th - Started keeping soft foods down, like mashed potatoes, oatmeal, and noodles.

July 10th - Doctor took me off of tube feeding from 7am to 7pm to let me eat regular foods. Then I was put back on "the tube" from 7pm to 7am. Fortunately, the test run went well, and I kept everything down that day except a couple bites of applesauce (which I shouldn't have eaten anyway).

July 11th - Placed back on Home Health Care with regular food between 7am and 7pm and then back on "the tube" from 7pm to 7am.

July 12th - You are not going to believe this. Man, I don't even believe this.   Okay, so I'm having a good day. I was pretty tired so I slept most of the way, especially at lunch time which was a bad thing. I was hungry like never before when my husband called and got me up around 4:30. Since he was on his way home, I figured 15 minutes max and he'll be cooking something, so I'll wait for him to eat and in the meantime drink some water or gatorade or something. Well, needless to say that didn't turn out too well. The water came back. So, I laid back down until he brought in the hamburger helper he'd just cooked. It was good. I really can't handle the hamburger yet, so I separated the meat from the noodles and was just eating the noodles. Well, I guess the little Hortonette in my tummy didn't like that because he/she sent it all back. To make matters worse, my gag reflex was strong enough to pull the tube all the way out of my stomach and out through my mouth. DISGUSTING! EWWW!  So, I had to pull the tube all the way out through my nose. Do you know what this means????? NO tube feeding tonight. I will be super hungry in the morning. If I relapse back into "hypremesis" mode the doctors might try to retubalize me... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I ain't going out like that (unless I have to in order to keep this baby). Ugh! This is madness. The devil is really trying my patience right now, so I'm going to go pray or something.

July 24th - Gah! Today was a very interesting day. Last night I started throwing up AGAIN. I had a doctor's appointment so I didn't worry about calling in.  All day I did the normal routine until time for my appointment which was at 2:30 pm.  Up to that point, I hadn't even kept my medicine down. I just knew I was going straight back to the hospital. Fortunately, I hadn't lost any weight from where I was when I last left the hospital, so the doctor decided not to readmit me. Because of the heat outside, of course he wanted me to stay indoors at all times and get some rest. He also put me back on an antacid medicine to help calm my stomach so that I would at least have a chance at keeping something down.  Thank God his suggestion worked. I was so happy to keep my Gorton's fish fillets down. I had to give up on the salads for a while because the cheese and dressing was starting to get to me. I finally figured out the meats I CAN eat with almost no problems.  Fish (catfish, salmon, and Gorton's fish), pork (bacon and ham), and baked chicken breasts are pretty much it.  I have to stay away from beef and any other seafood. Now that I've got that much established I can start working on eating enough to gain my weight back.  I started at a pre-pregnancy weight of 155 lbs.  Through all the hospitalizations I lost 15 lbs and was given "the tube" at 140 to stabilize my weight issues.  Why is it that when I wanted to lose that weight it just wouldn't budge??? Anyway, we'll talk about that later. So now, I am on my way back up. I think the last time I was officially weighed I was around 147 or something like that.

August 2 - GREAT NEWS! I gained 2 1/2 pounds. Finally, a visit to the doctor that was prescheduled and had a good outcome. Of course, all in all I still have a long ways to go, but this is a very important milestone that I feel is worth noting. So, instead of weighing 147 lbs I am at 149 1/2 lbs.  Gaining those 2 1/2 lbs back ON MY OWN is such a big deal. I actually have gained back a total of 9 1/2 of the 15 lbs I had lost in the first place. Thank you all for your support and prayers by the way. I wish I could give you all a hug. I have my next doctor's appointments in two weeks. I sure hope I keep getting good news.

August 13 - My husband is so sweet! Today he took me and our two girls to Olive Garden for dinner and then to the movies to see Step Up. We all had such a wonderful time. Of course, wouldn't you expect, in all this excitement, something was bound to go wrong. Well, luckily the only problem I have now is that after we got home tonight, I noticed my left foot, ankle, and leg is swollen. (Sigh) It doesn't hurt, but it's not pretty. Okay, now I'm wondering if it was the salt on those breadsticks, or maybe it was the shrimp in the shrimp alfredo. I'm not allergic to anything, so this is interesting. I'm going to elevate my foot and see if it goes down over night. Hopefully, it will be gone by morning.

August 14 - Partially good news. The swelling in my left leg has gone down; however my ankle and foot are still swollen a little. It started hurting while I was blow drying my hair, though, which is not good. My home health nurse, Denise, came by and I spoke to her about it. I guess it could be something serious, because she wrote all this down and called my doctor. I have to go see Dr. Yancey tomorrow anyway for my regular checkup and he will see about the swelling at that time. The concern is why is it just swelling on the left side and not on the right as well? I've already had my right leg scanned for blood clots while I was in the hospital, so I guess now they are going to do my left leg too. We'll see what happens tomorrow. This is kind of scary considering the fact that I've never had problems with swelling while I was pregnant before. I guess this is a sign... maybe God is just trying to make sure I don't try to have any more kids after this. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. Well, it can't be paranoia otherwise the nurse would have said "It's all in your head."

August 15 - Okay, so I've been to the doctor and I've got good news and more good news. Good news first is that I gained another 3 1/2 pounds over the last two weeks. I officially weighed in at 153 lbs on the dot. WOO-HOO! Only two more pounds to go and I'll be back at my pre-pregnancy weight. The more good news is that I had a doppler scan done on my left leg and there is no sign of clotting in my blood anywhere in my left leg. Whew! That was a really big relief. So, now I'm just going to try to stay off my feet and get plenty of rest. I can take Tylenol if I start to feel pain, but I'm no fan of pills, so I will probably just stick it out if I have to. I no longer have to go see the Gastroenterologist. He's the one who tubalized me. I have no hard feelings toward him though; he was just helping me and the baby out. And my next doctor's appointment will be in 4 weeks, when I turn 24 weeks. I'm so excited. I think the time is going to go by much faster now that I'm at the halfway point. I've finally been able to relax and start thinking about decorating for the new baby. I'm glad things have gotten better too, because Jaidah starts school on Thursday. OMG! I know she is excited because she has been talking about going to school every since she was 3. The time has finally come and her very first day at school is only two days away. I am so happy for her. I think I might throw her a surprise party. Yeah, I'm gonna do it! PARTY PARTY PARTY!

August 21 - This is going to be my favorite update ever! And you can probably guess what I'm about to say. IT IS OFFICIAL! I have finally made it back to 155 lbs, which was my prepregnancy weight. You don't know (actually you probably do) what it took for me to get back to this point. I told my mother about it and she says, "You are 21 weeks pregnant and 155 lbs. But you were 155 lbs before you got pregnant? Wow, you were fat!" Okay, now what kind of comment is that? Well, my mom and I have that kind of relationship. She likes to poke fun at me. It's her way of saying, "I am proud of you." Wierd huh? Kind of like your best friend, but for some reason you don't know why. LOL! Anyway, I am happy. My husband is happy. Everyone I know is happy. I am finally able to focus on other things like my daughter's first day at school and stuff. By the way, the party was great. Oh yeah! There were like 20 people there and we planned it and made phone calls all at the last minute. Jaidah is just as excited about school now as she is about her birthday coming up. I'm proud of her. By the way, I put pictures of her leaving for school for the first time and her holding the first picture that she colored at school in the pictures section. There is so much going on. I am glad the "major" drama of this pregnancy has just about gone away so I can enjoy these precious moments in my daughter's life.

October 3 -  Well, my dear friends and family. Today I found out that Chad and I are expecting another little girl. Yep! That's right. Lailah Joy will be girl number three in the Horton family. Even though Chad and I would have loved to have a baby boy, we are just as excited to be having a little girl. I was so excited today that I decided to make pillow letters spelling out her name... LAILAH JOY. Of course, they will be lowercase letters though. I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself now that I know I am preparing for a little lady. So far, we don't have a set date on the scheduled delivery. The last I was told it would be either December 28th or 29th. If any of you really know me well, you know that my birthday is December 30th, wedding anniversary and grandmother's birthday December 31st, and my dad's birthday is on January 1st. Of course, after my 24 years in existence here on planet earth it just makes sense to keep the tradition going and have the delivery scheduled on December 29th. I'll keep you posted when we get that established though. Since we are having a girl though, we are also getting another BOY dog. He will be small though, for the house. Chad's got two dogs (Charlie and Raskal) who are both big (65lbs and 45lbs respectively) and both outside and both of which I am not going near any time soon. So, to keep me company inside we are going to get a small house dog who is friendly and easy to train. (Gosh, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.) I am just so excited right now about the baby and getting a new dog that I just don't know what to do with myself.

November 5 - If you notice the time gap between now and my last post, you will see that not much has been going on for a while. WHICH IS A GOOD THING, by the way. However, all that changed today. At this point I am only 32 weeks pregnant BUT I've already started having contractions. I'm not talking about Braxton Hicks either. I'm talking about sharp pain in the back, pelvic pressure, tightening stomach pain. I'm not supposed to be going into labor yet. I timed the contractions and they were about 20 minutes apart and I had them for at least an hour before my husband and I decided we better go ahead and go to the ER. So we went to Good Shepherd a little after midnight Sunday night Monday morning. It was fairly empty (THANK GOD) so I was able to immediately go to a room. They monitored me all night and sure enough I was having preterm contractions. They did some kind of swab test (now that was uncomfortable) and checked to see if I was dialating (also very uncomfortable) but both turned out to be negative. The doctor explained that it means there is a 98% chance that I will NOT have the baby in the next two weeks. RELIEF!! After all these changes, I surely do not want to have a premature baby. Since they know I'm not going to have the baby, the next step is to stop the contractions (or I'm thinking, at least do something about the pain). I was prescribed Breathine (which makes me shake uncontrollably) and Visteril (which makes me relax, so minimal to no shaking). Of course, this means I am not allowed to drive anywhere (bummer) for a while. I don't mind though. This gives me an excuse to kick my feet up and R-E-L-A-X for once. Needless to say, I am not thrilled about this new challenge, but I am happy that the baby is fine and developing right on schedule.

Which leads to TODAY. Man I feel blessed. Through all that, our little Lailah has remained alive and active. All I can say is that sometimes God allows us to go through hard times physically, mentally, and emotionally, to see what we are really made of. I give only God the credit for giving me the strength to "suck it up" and endure these things so that I can receive the reward of a healthy bundle of "Joy". Sure, I've cried from the stress and pain and I've even felt like just giving up on the doctors and just taking the chance of possibly losing the child. It has gotten that hard, but thank God for the Holy Spirit who has been my help through it all. I now know what it means to be carried by God when you feel like you can't go on any longer. Reminds me of that footprints in the sand poem.

After all this, you'd probably be surprised to know that Chad and I wanted 7 kids. Yeah, that's a lot these days, but hey, we love children. Of course, now, considering what we've been through in just the last 32 weeks, we are going to stop at 3 and if possible we'll adopt the rest. We were hoping this one would be a boy, but I guess God wanted to save us the stress of trying to raise a "good man" these days. So instead we will have a total of 3 girls: Jaidah Love, Ivriah Fayth, and Lailah Joy. We are certainly going to have our hands full. Pray for us (and the kids).

My little thoughts to get through the day: Kids are a joy. They remind you of how silly everything really can be. They teach you how to laugh at DUMB stuff and yet not feel so dumb about it. They also show you how to get nothing important done and still be happy about your day. After having kids I realize that life is just too short not to just drop what your doing every once in a while and enjoy playing pretend with them.

--End Diary--

Friends, have I said that God is good? Well, HE IS! I read back over this several times and still can't believe that He brought me through all this. Wow. One thing I did notice is that I did not make an entry for when the doctor did the glucose test and it came back showing I was on the "border line" of having gestational diabetes. (sigh) At this point, I am just expecting to have at least one problem per month until the baby is born. I had to go see a nutritionist and she laid out what adjustments need to be made in my diet so that I can help my body regulate the correct amounts of sugars in my blood. After making the necessary adjustments (mostly just not drinking 10 glasses of koolaid every day) I had to take another test. This time it came back normal and so the doctor declared me "diabetes free". WOO-HOO! I know some people who have diabetes and are very well aware of the issues they deal with on a daily basis, so I give only God the credit for allowing me to fight it and avoid having to walk that road.

Well, as I said before, after November got started, things really were getting a little tiring and hard for me to handle. I had to slow down quite a bit. I'd stopped working and thought I was taking things easy when, would you believe it, I started having contractions again. Come to find out the contractions never stopped completely, they were just weakened where I could feel them but not any pain.

On December 5, 2006, at my 35 week appointment the doctor was doing his routine monitoring on Lailah's size and heart rate and the amount of amniotic fluid I had in my belly when the monitor started tracking contractions every three minutes. I COULDN'T EVEN FEEL THESE CONTRACTIONS. Thank God the doctor does monitor his patients at this point because come to find out I was dangerously close to having my uterus rupture in the place where my scars were located from the two previous c-sections. A uterine rupture is one of those things that is considered the worst of the worst of all possible things that could happen to a pregnant person. It is life and death. Meaning both the baby and the mother could be lost if a uterine rupture occurs. Immediately, the doctor sent me straight to the hospital to have the contractions stopped. I was "ordered" to go straight there and not to eat or drink anything because if the contractions can't be stopped, he would have to do an emergency delivery.

Now at this point, I was thinking, "Okay, go to hospital, straight down 4th street, have contractions stopped, and then I can eat." BOY was I hungry. I had a 10:45 appointment but slept in so I had planned on eating immediately after this routine checkup. Little did I know, it would be about 48 hrs before I will be taking my next bite of solid food. I arrived at the hospital and they were waiting on me due to the urgency involved. I went straight to registration and they checked me in and escorted me up to the labor and delivery wing at Good Shepherd Medical Center. They started the IV and proceeded to start me on a series of four breathine shots to stop the contractions. Shot #1, no response, except the burning sensation from the shot of course. Shot #2 instead of having slower contractions, I was having faster ones. That's ironic. Aren't we going the wrong way here? Shot #3, contractions are really just out of control and now they hurt. They went from 3 minutes apart to 1 1/2 minutes apart back to 3 minutes apart. Finally, my doctor (who was actually working on his off day for some reason) was able to get away from his office and come see me at the hospital. He looked at the monitor and the expression on his face was, we need to deliver this baby. He turned to me and told me that I was extremely, dangerously close to a uterine rupture and if we don't deliver this baby, we are putting my life and the baby's life in danger. I said (without hesitation, of course) then I guess we will have a baby today. He went through normal protocol with c-section deliveries and quickly informed me of the risks of delivery by c-section (I've had two already, so I'm well aware of the risk), he told me that he will be doing a tubal surgery afterward so the time in the operating room would be extended by a few minutes (I'm definitely prepared for that), then he asked who we need to wait for. My heart skipped a beat when I said, "Please, wait for my husband." The doctor said, "Done" and left the room.

I immediately called my Chad-E-Poo and gave him the news, he left work immediately. I'm sure he was probably as nervous as a person in a room with a wet dog where you aren't allowed to take your dog. But I knew he was also very excited because in a short while we will be welcoming Lailah Joy into the Horton family. The anesthesiologist (hope I spelled that right) came in and explained the procedure he would be doing so that I wouldn't feel anything and as he left the room, in walked THE MAN - my husband of course! The nurse gave him his operating room attire and he went straight to the bathroom to change into the uniform that our 4 year old, Ivriah, believes magically turned him into the doctor.

I was wheeled on the bed to the operating room where I was given a spinal (numbed me from the chest stomach down) then Chad entered the room to sit beside me and hold my hand and WATCH the c-section delivery. At this point everything was a blur because I was under some serious medics. I was definitely in and out of it and very uncomfortable at times, but I lasted with my sanity just long enough to see Lailah after she was taken out of my belly, watch them clean her up, watch Chad cut the umbilical cord, watch them swaddle her in a blanket and hand her to the proud new father of 3, Chad Horton, walk her over to me and sit down so we could watch her wiggle, squirm, and push out the sweetest faint little cry that I've every heard. I had just delivered a 5 lb 15.6 oz, 18 inch long baby at 35 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Because she was considered a premature baby the nurse had to rush Chad and baby Lailah into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to get the baby on oxygen. Lailah was born with only two hurdles to jump. She had low blood sugar (go figure, when she was in my belly I had high blood sugar) and her lungs were not fully developed. The lungs not being developed is common because they aren't supposed to be until 38 weeks.

December 6, the doctor came in to check on me and gave me some very disturbing information. Now, at this point I was just glad that Lailah was here, but strangely he seemed to be a little more glad than I'd thought he would be as a doctor who does this on a routine basis. I found out that his relief was due to the fact that my uterus was probably one of the weakest uteruses he'd ever seen and operated on. He told me that when he finally got through all the skin and down to my uterus during the operation what he found was very alarming. My uterus was paper thin. So thin, as a matter of fact, that he could see the amniotic fluid inside of it. The uterus is not supposed to be transparent in any way at any time. It was as if I'd been walking around on a thin line between life and death. As he continued to talk, I said this prayer in my head. Sweet and merciful God, I can't praise you enough for allowing me to live. I am alive. I am breathing. I have another child who is alive and breathing. We are still here to glorify you and only you for this miracle. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you God. The doctor finished his postpartum checkup on me and left. And I cried tears of joy, because I know I'm nowhere near perfect, I make mistakes every day, and I try to do everything God has told me to do, and still fail. Yet, He is so faithful and forgiving and merciful that He allows me to get back up again every time. Oh, I can't thank Him enough.

Now the doctor said I had to "verify" that all bodily functions were in full working order, including the ones that aren't so pleasant, before I could eat solid food again. I hadn't eaten since around 8:30 pm December 4th. I don't have to tell you how hungry I was. Well, as of late that evening I had officially gone through all of the natural bodily functions (if you know what I mean) for the doctor to give the okay for me to eat food again. Since I was SUPER hungry, I SUPER ate. No, I'm just kidding. Even though it really wasn't that much I did eat every bit of the food they brought me to eat. AND IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. I never thought I would say that about hospital food.

During this time Lailah had been placed on a ventilator to support her weak lungs. They were still developing and she was definitely having some troubles.

Thursday, December 7th they tried to take her off the ventilator but she was barely breathing well enough on her own. The doctor didn't want to take any chances so he put her back on the breathing machine immediately. It was a little disappointing, but I was glad he didn't mess around about it.

Friday December 8th, however, he took her off the ventilator and she has been breathing just fine on her own since then. Also, I got to go home on the 8th. I was so excited to get back in my bed. Hospital beds have never compared to pillow top mattresses. I had so many back and neck issues in the hospital that I was in no way hesitant to quickly find a ride home and so I could leave. Before I left though, I went by the NICU to see Lailah. She was doing well enough that I got to hold her for the first time. It was the most wonderful moment in this pregnancy. This tiny person, that I'd carried for just about 8 months was sucking a pacifier (which neither of our other two children would do) and sleeping soundly and comfortably in my arms. My heart melted, I got goose bumps, my cheeks rose to an official koolaid smile, and my eyes stayed fixed on the sweetest face I've ever seen... the face of a Chad and Charise Horton newborn. I sat still not wanting the moment to end. The nurse came over to check on me and take a picture for me to take home and since my ride was already on it's way I took that as an opportunity to give Lailah back to the nurse and head back to my room. The walk back was the most peaceful walk I'd ever taken down a hospital hallway.

After getting back to the room, my ride arrived as I finished packing my belongings. I called the nurse escort and we left. The first thing I did when I got home was fix me some shrimp stir fry, eat it, and get in the bed to relax. My husband called to say he'd gotten off work on time around 4:30 pm and was on his way home, which was a miracle in and of itself to be completely honest. Chad's sister Tonya also called and offered to keep the kids, Jaidah and Ivriah, for the weekend. Common sense or not, we definitely accepted that invitation. We relaxed for the rest of the evening until about 7:30 pm when we both left to go pick up Ivi from her godparents' house and drop her and Jaidah off with Tonya. Then, we went to see Lailah.

When we arrived at the nursery the nurse gave us the report from the doctor that Lailah was doing great and that they were introducing the milk to her now. She allowed Chad and I to hold her once again. We also both got to feed her the few drops of milk that she did actually drink from a special premie bottle while we were there. The day had been long so around 11:00 pm we gave Lailah back to the nurse and came home to rest.

Finally. The pregnancy had been a long, hard, and trying one. Even people who I know aren't so fond of me, were sending me encouraging words, cheering me on, praying for me, and helping me along the way. I've never felt so loved by people in my entire life. I especially felt a true sincerity of love from my church family. I can't tell you how wonderful these people really are. The love of God has been proven in them in ways that they probably don't even realize. And I certainly do appreciate and love them dearly.

As this chapter in me and Chad's life comes to a close at the end of 2006, I must give all the credit, glory, and honor to none other than God. He has truly shown himself powerful in our lives. There are two lessons that I must admit I have definitely learned, if nothing else.

Lesson #1 "God favors life."

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Lesson #2 "God allows us to be tried to teach us how to be patient."

Romans 5:1-3 "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;"

----------------------------------Photos from December 5th until now---------------------------

Chad after he magically turned into the doctor, waiting to join me in the operating room.

Ivriah torturing Chad (as he puts it) while he waits.

Chad torturing Ivriah while he was still waiting to go into the operating room.

My mother Marian and my daughter Jaidah as they wait for the operation to finish.

My mom, Aunt Sallie, Pastor Lonnie Walker, Chad, and me in the Labor and Delivery room.

Lailah in the Oxygen Dome immediately after she was born but before they put her on the ventilator.

Lailah Joy and the "unidentified hand". Seriously, we don't know who's hand that was.

Lailah Joy, without the "unidentified hand". I like this picture better.

Lailah Joy stretching her leg. The blue thing is a cap that keeps the bright lights out of her eyes.

Lailah Joy "tubalized" through her nose, just like I was during pregnancy. Even though it is a smaller version of the same tube, she is not being fed through this. This tube actually is making sure she doesn't get too much or too little air in her tummy. You can barely see it here, but that tape on her mouth is keeping the ventilator tube in her mouth secure.

My mother "unprepared" for the picture, and Lailah Joy.

6' 3" tall daddy Chad squatting down to take a picture with Lailah Joy.

Me and Lailah Joy, taking a picture sometime between 10 and 10:30 pm last night. Yes, she is actually holding my finger. To be so small, she does have a grip.

Okay, so today it started settling in. I am going to be a mommy for the third time. HELLO??? I haven't had a child in over 4 years. I am sooooo excited.  I wanted to make mention of the fact that it's amazing how you can be going through a major change in your life and it really not affect you until you get to the end of the process and know that the reward is coming. Well, as I sat pondering about how wonderful mommy-hood is going to be with a newborn in the house, I started to get a little disappointed in myself.  Why you ask? GOOD QUESTION! Well, we all know that the Christian life is a race that we run for an amount of time that God determines is ample for who we are. We don't know when our time is going to be over and we make that heavily anticipated transition into eternity. It's almost like having a baby. Even though there is an expected "due date", ultimately we have no control over when that time is actually going to come. Do you realize that you have a "due date"? Well, the closer I get to my pregnancy due date, the more I feel the urgency to prepare for that time. I have put off a few things I want to do for the baby and even a few things I must do for the baby. This same thing has happened in my Christian walk. I have put off the things that I must do to prepare myself for the eternal life. Do you know what it takes to guarantee your name is put in the Lamb's Book of Life? Have you prepared for that transition? Now I'm not talking about life insurance and wills. I am talking about Eternal Life Ensurance and His will. (So it's a little cheesy, but you get the point.) I am starting to feel that urgency that I should have when it comes to being about God's business.