My bad mood is gone for the most part. I can't write much this morning because I have to leave early for work. Urghh.

Tomorrow my Nana is getting married (again), hopefully for the last time. lol. She's been married 3 times since I've been alive... and once before that. Well twice if you count my papa but I count him as the first husband since I've been alive. Blah. It's gonna be a low key wedding, in her backyard... don't have to dress up so that's good takes off some of the pressure from me to look cute. Instead I will wear jeans & a tank top & feel good. =]

My other grandma was admitted to the hospital yesterday morning.. she was having mini-strokes all day. =/ I don't really know what's going on, they said that it stopped, but the hospital is keeping her for 2-3 days for observation. My grandpa (her husband) is also supposed to be going in sometime soon for removal of his kidney which he has cancer in. Ugh. =[

All I'm thankful for right now is that it is Friday. The heat at work all week has been HORRIBLE... it wears me out sooo much and I seriously drip sweat all damn day. It's disgusting. Plus not to mention my dad found out yesterday someone stole at least $200 out of the cash drawer yesterday. It's kind of a limited scope, because I know it wasn't me or my dad... so that leaves two other people.. the new kid or else the guy who has been working with my dad forever since he started. Because I counted the money before lunch we had $600+ and then that afternoon someone paid a $300+ bill... and somehow we ended up with about $670 in the drawer. Wowww. Dumbasses especially because we were ALL in the office when I counted it and declared that he needed to empty the drawer that night when we closed. From now on all money I collect goes directly to my dad's pocket until we figure this out. A small business can't really afford a loss that big..

Alrite I need to eat & take my vitaminnn.
Laterz<3

So pretty much I am in a shitty mood right now but we will let that slide.

Everything is going pretty good aside from my bad mood. I had a good weekend, and so far my week at work has been fine. I was off on Tuesday because I had an eye appointment where I found out that I basically read too much since my eyes are already so bad, that is why my left eye has shit floating around in it. But he said I should be fine & Im not gonna go blind. Sounds like a good outlook to me. I just really don't wanna go blind. =]

I made my guinea pigs a really big open cage, they looove it. I am working on potty training them as weird as it sounds. It's been a couple days and they are pissing in the right spot, and almost always shitting the right spot. Good animals. =] I might get a bearded dragon soon, because Josh's mom's friend had eggs, but they all died... but I guess he raises all kinds of them, so hopefully they have another litter soon. I really want more fun fuzzy animals but I do like bearded dragons. They are so freaking cute!!!

I'm doing pretty good money wise this month somehow. Well.. I got a little extra from my Papa from my grandpa's first estate check... and then I got a $200 check from school last night. I have a lot of bills due in the next 2 weeks though, so I guess all that money wil be going down the drain too. Well... into my cell phone bill, car payment & payment on my retainer. Ugh.

I have a stomach ache thanks to my bad mood (ugh I hate how bad moods make my stomach hurt so bad)... So I am going to just relax and watch TV/read/nap for the rest of the night. Tomorrow Josh comes back and I have dinner with my papa because I was supposed to today but it didn't work out. But before all that I need sleep cuz I have a wonderful 9 hour day in fucking 100 degree heat again tomorrow. UGH.

I wrote this huge, deep personal blog. I made it private. I am having a really really rough time making a really big decision and it sucks. I am trying to take something good out of something horrible & I hope whatever I do is the right thing. My stepdad's rest of his life pretty much depends on it...

Today I am about to get into the shower. When my sister gets back from taking her permit test *finally*... we are going to the mall. There is a big sale, she wants to spend her birthday money. lol Then I have Bub's grad party. I got him a really fucking potent weed brownie. =] Yeaayah. I'm such a good friend. =] IDK what we are doing tonight, probably end up in Norwalk or here. I have to get up early for a family reunion of people I haven't met tomorrow *my dad's family*. I'm annoyed because it sucks bad enough when I am introduced and people had no idea I existed. Ugh. Let alone a whole family I never even met who is probably weird anyways. =[ Then going to my friend's yard sale because she is moving away to Cali at the end of the month and has a LOT of cool clothing.lol. Then Monday back to work. Shoot me now. =[

So in my footprints I keep getting these blank footprints & then it shows where they clicked on you from... and like 10 in the past 2 days were people searching for my exact username. That is kind of creppin me out. I hope Im not being paranoid. lol.

Expect me back sometime later this evening. I just found out some shit that pretty much ruined my mood for the day. I hope my weekend does not go to shit. I wonder how many times & different ways your heart can break before you give up on someone. (it's not Joshua...) I feel like right now I have nothing else that I can do to help what is going on in my life right now... Wow.

Sooooo...

Im sitting in my bed. Alone. I only update when Josh isn't here cuz that is the only time I get bored. Or when he is playing poker, but I am usually going to bed by then.

Haven't been up to much, I've worked everyday this week... except Tuesday which I took off for an eye doctor appointment, which got fucked up anyways, I had to reschedule. *our insurance billed my emergency as my exam for the year, and also made me pay for it cash, so basically I had to argue with the old eye doctor and then had to get refunded & repay it... now I will be able to go get glasses & contacts next week. And then had to cancel my dentist's appointment because there is no way in hell right now I can afford another $350 for a retainer when I JUST FUCKING BOUGHT ONE. I refuse to believe I grind my teeth that bad to ruin it, if it is really supposed to last a year. It has been a little over 6 months since I got this one. Ugghh frustration.

Been hanging out around the house, Tal's & Josh's brother & sister's house. Smokin a lot, a LOT of bong-age. I love bongs. Blunts are starting to come back too since it is summertime. I still cannot afford gas to cruise a blunt. We haven't cruised a blunt AT ALL this summer. But alas, we have a roach blunt rolled for tomorrow when I get home, and I think we will all be BAKED. =] Yay.

Tomorrow I work... and it's payday. =] A plus! And then after work my cousin Kaylin's birthday. She's gonna be 7 or 8. (my aunt is only 4 years older than me so she's more like a neice). I can't find a present, since she is spoiled rotten, so I'm giving her cash. They are camping all weekend so I figure she can buy candy and snacks at the store. All little kids love money. lol. Idk what we are doing tomorrow night, probably something tripping wise. I'm about to come into a very lucrative new addition to my business. =] YEAAAYEAH. lol. Hopefully it works out well.

The new Slipknot song is on 89x everyday. I really like it. =]

I am gonna lay down & read now. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off ALL day and I didnt even get to vent on here about the stuf I wanted to, but Im toooo tired.

Nighty night.