Thankful

A girl as normal as she came to one of her dear friends for help. She spoke of secret affairs, untold facts, false tongues, and tearing hearts. She burst into tears and kept fighting through the rain of sorrow. This young girl hid her true face away from the world she called her own. She looked up and stared into the eyes of her friend and noticed they glisten from the light gleaming through the window. Her friend had a caring ambience about them and then embraced the young girl with a hug that was unlike anything the girl has encountered before. Her friend thought to himself that she didnt deserve to feel like this and was surprised that she had concealed and trained herself so well to have a smile that was in reality, broken. He thought about every day that he saw her walk through the door and have a smile and something to chat about her day and also thought about how much it tore her inside to force a smile that cant be questioned. As she confessed and poured her heart on a silver platter, the young girl didnt have the same colorful joy that she brought to the room; instead, she had this black and white impassiveness that only showed her red heart beating to a slow stop. As if who she used to be was dieing a slow and painful death. Her friend looked at her and said "I care about you so much, never forget that." She felt something piercing through her heart. It wasnt the pain that left an open wound like the lies and secrets did to her, it was more of the sudden stab of realization of the cold and indifferent world that she did call her own. After the surprising shock of the warmth and care of a friend, she was guided through her darkest times where she thought she was alone.

Now, she still goes about her daily routine walking through the very same door and have that same smile with something to talk about her day. The young girl even walks amongst the other students in the hallways blending into the stereotypical teenage persona and strides with determination and a sense of hope for her dieing diginity. As she goes about her life undetected, the girl sits and waits patiently until God himself can put her down and let her walk on her own again. Maybe, just maybe, she can smile without it breaking.

Coming clean

Today is the start of the last week I'll ever feel this way again. In a way I'm glad but I'm also sad too. For 4 years now I work so hard to be a good musician and to work endless hours to just actually perform for 9 1/2 minutes. In the end, I think its worth it. Yesterday I cried because it really hit me hard that it was my last one. I guess I never really thought about how I would react with my last Arcadia. Probably because I always think to myself, "i have another year to do this again" Well the reality is that i dont have another time to do this again. This is it. No do overs, no second chances. I want to end my final year of comeptition on a note that I can look back on and say that I did a preety damn good job. I'm a part of a legacy that has been living for over 9 years. What I have learned int he 4 years that I am here is something I won't exchange for ANYTHING.

Also, it felt nice breaking that "hate" barrier that is "supposedly" there. The truth is the past is the past and Ive been over it since last year was done. I came with a clean slate and just because we aren't friends anymore doesn't mean that I can't wish you Good Skill in hopes that you perform your best show your senior year. To you and your future.

Its comin' back to me now.

The season has gone by really fast. Frankly it scares me.
During the Mt. Carmel we did well on street but horrible on field.
Mira Mesa, our parade score was questionable and we did really well on field.
and Chula Vista...lets just say that was a gift from the lord himself to teach us a lesson.

I honestly don't know what happened. When we waited to go on Power and Glory was played before us and Amy was our judge. I dont know what it was but the future of this program lies within this coming week.

I hope and pray we can do it.

If only emotion had its own alphabet

Phew, another week of school done.

My stress level is going down, which is very good in my case. The only thing im stressing on is my English presentation. I think Ill be fine. School is starting to get on my nerves.

Period 1 Calculus: Half the class doesnt understand Mrs. Ada's way of teaching and is very irratated.
Period 2 AP Govt: Well I have a B+ in the class I just need to make sure i dont fall behind in notes and actually study for the test.
Period 3 Cadet Band: Unfortunately I got put in this class, but on the bright side I can work on my techinque. But thats if Mr. Mangan will actually let me play.
Period 4 AP Art Studio: We're doing a still life in Conte Crayon. I'm doing better than I ever have before, except now I think the column I drew is kind of crooked
Period 5 Band Aide: I like coming back to the band room, I feel relieved and so much better enter through the double doors. I do a lot of things for Mr. Mangan, and sometimes he can take off some of the stress from me and vise versa.
Period 6 English Lit. IB: Well for some reason, Hector and I dread going to this class, but I think after the Summer English assignment and presentations are over we'll be fine.

Those were how my classes were this whole week. Fun huh?

Yesterday I had band practice from 9am-3pm. Actually for me it was from 7am-7:30pm. I came in early and repaired the mats for parade and dragged the backdrops to the JV field and painted them with grey primer. Then I asked Laura to lead PT because apparently we were missing parts to the sound system that were still left in the band room. Then we did circle drill about maybe 4 times? All of us went to set the top of the show, while the backdrops are drying tin the sun. We cleaned each set of drill and then learned the 4th movement, Oldest Established. Everything was going pretty well. Then we were realesed to lunch, but I didnt even have lunch i was loading stuff into my van and taking it over to the college, and Mr. Mangan noticed I get irratated when it comes to parade because I'm the only one who has real transportation for equipment. So he offered to take some things, which is nice. It's that I dont mind take some people's things also, they just have to quit nagging me about it. When I say "Yeah let me load all the equipment we need first" they assume I say no, but honestly I will do my best to get your stuff over there, just be patient that's all I ask. Anyways, Mr. Mangan gave me permission to eat while they were doing mat drill becuase I didnt get a chance to eat at all. So parade went better. i can still improve on the last half of the march though. Then I load everything else and head back over to the band room and it was time to start putting my sketches on the back drops. I drew with chalk and Jeanette helped me, but on the first back drop both of us drew in all the details and they ended up covered in paint anyways. So i just drew the outlines of the buildings. I went and modified the drawings with Mr. Mangan and finished the back drops and started to paint! Well, the guys: Hung, Mr. Mangan, Mini, and Max were playing football and Mr. Mangan had flipped the t.v. to the USC game. So we finished painting the backdrops with the shapes of the buildings and put the backdrops in the band room. SOO we are trying to think of ways to back the detail pop, and those ideas will come to me by next week 

To elaborate what I said earlier about 5th period, Mr. Magan shows his concern and he's a very kind-hearted person. Since band camp started up to this very moment, I know someone has got back also.

Dont worry I didnt forget about my friends and boyfriend, you guys are great also! Its also nice to have an adult like that who cares that much.

Well I need to do a lot of things. Update next week!

 Rancho Buena Vista FT this Saturday!!

Purple-stained Hearts

This past week has been exhasting mentally and physically. I never thought that just by the second week of school, ill be sick of it already.

My classes are going okay. I'm starting not to mind being in 3rd period band, in a positive way, I can concentrate on my technique and perfect my tone and all that jazz. Speaking of Jazz, This year I'll being singing in the Jazz band. Only one song, and its a song i can easily sing to.

I really do hope that this year will be a great year for me. Not just in the band, but also in school and getting that acceptance letter to Calarts where I can major in animation and minor in performance. I can only hope and try my hardest this year.

Yesterday was Coors for Univision. It was another Spanish concert. The morning shift was crappy, but later on in the second shift, I had more fun with my peeps. You know working at those concerts, you meet a lot of interesting people. HAHAHA.

So maybe this year I wont lose another friend, because it seems like every year a friendship is lost. That's going to change. Yeah, definiately.