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Thursday, September 25, 2008

So, it has taken me a while to actually admit to it, but things are not going well this semester . . .

I am not even just talking about classes. I feel completely out of it, I don't feel like myself, I don't feel like I'm making the most of my time, and I don't know why. I spend hours and hours on a homework assignment, ask questions, think I understand it, only to fail the quiz anyway. What's wrong with me? I've never had this happen before? Last week, I made a stupid mistake in the same class (on another quiz) which cost me another boatload of points. At this point in time, I can honestly say I'm failing the class right now . . . that has never happened before either.

At least as far as this last quiz goes, everybody else thought the same thing about it. It was hard, okay, for us it was beyond hard. While I got most of every question right, I did not get a single answer right, that sucks. So close, yet so far.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, you are your toughest critic, so they say. Because it is not like I'm doing badly because I'm not trying, maybe I'm trying too damn hard? I don't even know anymore. I'm headed home for a weekend, maybe that will allow me to clear my head. Think things over with myself.

Maybe it is some underlying issue that I haven't thought about yet. Maybe I set my standards for a graduate program too high? I try not to compare my graduate school to my undergrad, but sometimes I can't help it. It definitely isn't the same, and I keep telling myself that, but it still really does not change much. Maybe it is my lack of contact with my old friends that is driving me nuts because everybody is doing something different, and it is increasingly harder and harder to keep in touch with those people, especially if you feel that you are putting all the effort into it, and feel like you are getting nothing in return.

Okay, so I think I'm done ranting . . . it might be another few months before I post anything again, lets hope the next time, things will be a little happier.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Currently Listening
Avenue Q (2003 Original Broadway Cast)
By Jeff Marx, Robert Lopez, John Tartaglia, Stephanie D'Abruzzo, Avenue Q
I Wish I Could Go Back to College
see related
Holy crap it has been a year, over a year since I wrote in this thing.

A lot has happened in a year.

I got accepted into grad school, I'm at Arcadia University, finished my first year. Sticking to my username, I am still a fanatic, nice to know I picked the right field.

I'm currently working at a forensics lab for the summer, running drug/tox screens on every type of biological sample, I mean, every type of biological sample . . .

Its good, I'm learning a lot, really like the people in my department. I'm exhausted when I get back, but making some good money, so its a win win situation for me.

On the social front, my life is pretty boring to say the least. My normal summer crew is spread across the entire world this summer, and I'm not living at home. I have a roomate, and we hang out all the time, but it is kind of strange. It feels weird, like I've lost connections or something.

You can blame my roommate for getting me addicted to Lost . . . I've been watching it over the past month. Its fantastic.

I think that's pretty much it for now . . . I'll check back later, maybe.
I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Some bug in my ear told me to update. So I will.
There is exactly two weeks and two days until I am completely done with my undergraduate studies. Freaky? Naw, not in the slightest. Yeah, ok, I'm not ready for it, but none the less its coming, and there is no way that I can stop it.
That being said, not like I've had a rough semester or anything. It had its ups and downs like every semester does, but in the end, everything came out right. Well, as right as it can be. I'm a little frusterated with my reasearch right now. My research advisor is way too overbearing, and doesn't quite get that there is no possible way that I can get 60 samples analyzed when it took me the first half the semester to get 10 samples analyzed, it is just not going to work. It doesn't help that my lab partner has my research advisor wraped around her little finger, and whatever she does, she gets praised for it. Whatever I do, I get the ever popular "you could have done more" for an answer. I also just realized she had been taking credit for work that I did, and I now know that she really doesn't have anything to show for it, only makes herself seem like she does. I'm definately getting a little angry, and I was all ready to talk to my reserach advisor about it today, and he wasn't around. That just figures, oh well. Maybe tomorrow?
As for my summer plans, I thought I had my foot in the door about what I was going to do. I applied for an internship over the summer. Knowing that it was mostly for those students who needed outside lab requirements to graduate, (usually from undergraduate studies), I thought I'd apply anyway, they really liked my letter from last year, and thought I would be a good candiate. I thought I had made it clear that I was going to be doing it AFTER graduation, so I could get my foot in the door, so I could have something cool on my resume, but no. I guess I didn't get that across to them because I didn't get the internship because they wanted to keep it open for somebody who needed it, required it for graduation. Rather than having somebody who just had a strong interest in it. I mean, I can see their point, but did I really have to go through the entire process, when they knew I was applying for interest only, only for them to tell me no? Oh well, I guess I have to find a summer job now. The only thing is, I have no idea where to look. Maybe a lab will hire me for over the summer.
Now that I've done my rantings, things have been fine otherwise. My grades are good, my classes are ok, my social life is existant. I'm not overwhelmed. I got into grad school (Arcadia University, M.S. in Forensic Science) and I know what I'm doing next year, I do have to say, that is better than most people, so I really have nothing to complain about.

Cheers

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Halleluha to Spring Break. Granted, its cut down a couple of days for the ERMC (or something to that effect). It is the Eastern Regional Music Confrence up in Hartford, CT that I'm going to with the SU symphonic band. Granted, it would be nice to have all my break to myself, but I'll probably be sick of my parents anyway.
Anyway, as for other new stuff. I am one of those people who is graduating with a B.S. in Biology in a few months. AHHHHH. No, not ahhh, I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life as you would say, but the fact that it is unknowing right now, is just a little dis-comforting to me. I have gotten into a grad school, so at least I have somewhere to go. Hopefully I'll visit it over next week, so I can decide what I want to do.
As for that, nothing is new, nothing is new at all. Classes are I'll admitt, easy, but whatever, I deserve to have an easy semester from kicking my butt for the past three years.
Anyway, thats it, over and out.