Whoa!!!!!!  What is going on with everyone.  I know it has been like forever since I have posted on this damn thing.  So if anyone has been checking in on my site only to the same damn thing then - I am SoRrY!

Well, now that that is out of the way.  I have been so busy with work and my friends and of course the love of my life TeRrY.  We, as in me and ter, have been doing so good.  I love him.  We were talking about going to college at ECC together after my senior year-which is THIS year!  Thank the Lord!  It is about mufkan time.  Me and Amanda (West) are going to kick some underclassman AsS.  So Bridge and Caressa you better watch out!  No I am not joking this is the year of the BiTcH!

For some reason I am hyped up.  I don't know it probably has something to do with TeRrY.  Did I mention that I love him?!

Well I am gonna go and get ready for work-yeah, and I have a driving class to go to, too.  FuN, fUn, FuN!  And then I am going to see my baby!  Bye!

                         Thanks and Love Ya,

                                 Courtney Ja & Rufus Terry

SoRrY that my life is so boring..........

Ok, so it has been forever since I have had the time to write in here.  How is everyone??????  Let me just take a few minutes to complain:  What is up with everyone writing down songs on thier logs-is it required(me being a smartass), Who in the HeLl is HUMPTY?????????  I mean does he have a real name, do I know him, and are Caressa and him together, he s her??????  What is going on??????  I don't get on for like a week and everything is gone insane.  I have not been so lost in a long time.  Oh yeah, and why is my boy so fucking GaY?????  Somebody tell me please......b/c I am losing my God For Saken mind over him.  No wait.....let me tell you the big entire homosexual story:

Ok.....Yesterday(Friday)  I got off work and took Ryan(it is his and Jarett's B-days)(Ry is 6 and Jaro is 16) home (he goes to the daycare I work at, that is why I got the job, b/c of tammy and rusty-terry's parents).  And when I got there terry was on the couch asleep, so about 10 minutes later he woke up and said he didn't feel good.  So I was being nice to him and asked him if he needed anything and he said no and that I was getting on his nerves!  Well oh my god-there it went into full-blown, fuck you, bitch mode.  So I started going off about me trying to be nice to him and why the fuck was I getting on his nerves?????!!!!!  Well as the fight grew I was told to go home like 12 times b/c when he sees someone everyday consecutively(which I am so surprised he could even pronounce that word, much less use it properly)THEY - meaning anyone, not just me - begin to get on his nerves and he just can't see me every single day, much less anyone else.  So tell me this how in the HELL is he going to get married????  I am not saying that we are married but how is he going to do it????  And doesn't he know that it is perfectly okay for me to annoy him b/c he annoys the crap out of me sometimes.  It is normal, for as long as we have been together(7 months)we are bound to not get along every once in a while.  Anyway back to the fight-  He tells me would like to see me do some things with my friends sometimes-----Yeah Right!  I had Brittney stay the night with me Monday and I thought he was going to have an actual cow!  He was so mad that I had to go home early and that she was staying with me that later on that night he wouldn't even stay on the phone longer then 5 minutes b/c he was mad!  and Monday afternoon me and Cassie went shopping in e-town and he got mad b/c i didn't tell him!  But he would like to see me less with him and more with my friends-FUCK THAT!  I don't know what kind of crack he is on but it must be pretty damn good.( he is not really on drugs)  Then he has the nerve to tell me that there are many kinds of love and he doesn't love me the same that I love him, but he loves me and he can't explain what kind it is and it is not just friend love.  So what the fuck is it, is it good enough??????  I don't understand, if we don't have the exact same "love" then can it work??????  That kind of conversation scares the life out of me.  Oh and after all that I can't see you every day shit he calls me this morning when he wakes up(like he does every weekend) and asks me when I am coming over today(they are having a Birthday Party for Jaro and Ry).  Okay.  So I guess I am going over there around 3 or 4 and I am not going over there Sunday(space).  And since we had that love convo, I am not going to say it anymore.  Even though I do and he does, I don't know it just scared me.  So I won't say it anymore, I'll just pretend I don't.

Oh and I am not doing the Cosmo Modeling Thing.  I am not ready to be fully dedicated to something that has to do with a career.  and I am listening to JON B the most romantic and hottest latin/black performer that ever lived.  He has it all.  Guess I am done for now.  I will write back later and tell y'all how the party thing went.  I hope me and ter get through this shit without losing each other.

                                 Thanks and ya,

                                                 Courtney Ja

                                                      Loves

                                                  Terry Joyner

Ok.  so i have like some pretty cool news.  yesterday me and my mom went to get our nails and after words she had to go to Pamida.  well while we were in Pamida my dad called my cell and told me that a lady from Cosmo's Modeling had called and i was like "WHAT?????!!!!!!"  like freaking out and so i called the number back and left my name at the front desk well like 5 minutes later my cell rings again and it is Cosmo's!!!!!  so how freaked out am i.  The woman tells me that along time ago(in december) i signed up for this raffle thing and that the girl that was doing had mentioned something about my "unique" looks and she wanted to meet with me as soon as possible.  Why they waited 6 months i have no clue.  So my appointment was today and it went well she told me that i had a beautiful smile with great dimples and that i was pretty and that my height was perfect for runway(my dream)!  so she wants me to take these 16 week classes(once a week)  that i have to pay for,  so the question is:  am i really all she says, do i have the potential, is she just making the shit up, should i pay to do it?  I would love,love,love to be a SUPER model.  Can I?  oh yeah,and she said i have a wonderful full lip!  what the hell is that, i know that that is good but she noticed my lips!  I love my bottom, squared off, full lip and she noticed.  maybe she isn't full of crap.  I don't know.  I guess i would be stupid not to do it, not everyone(even though quite a few) get to attempt to follow something you worship and dream about.  If i didn't i would kick myself later.  But do I believe her? maybe I just can't believe someone other than my parents think I am gorgeous.  I still have problems with Terry telling me I am pretty(which he does every once in a while).  he is as supportive as he can be even though he doesn't understand my passion for it.  he wishes me luck and everything (and of course pokes fun at it) so it is good.  We have been so great lately.  I am loving it.  We are talking more and loving more.  I love him!!!!  I have to go up to radcliff to get 2 of my nails fixed(i broke them)!  and i have to work at 2 (daycare).  My mom leaves tomorrow for Cali, she has a 20 year HS reunion.  hard to believe she is that old-she doesn't look it.  she is going alone, so i am sure she'll have fun.  I will have the car to myself all weekend-thank god!  i probably spend a night or two at Terry's, maybe tomorrow.  I don't know. well i have got to go to bed-i have had a long day.

                       Love Ya and Thanks,

                                Courtney Ja loves Rufus Terry

Well.........I chose not to go to NC, but only because I need to stay home and work.  Terry, of course is loving it.  I guess I am kinda glad to be staying home with him he has been a lot sweeter these past few days. 

       I almost forgot, the other day we had a real and actual talk about the whole NC thing and he told me he didn't want me to go because he wants me around and he doesn't want a girlfriend that never is.  So I guess he wants me stuck up his butt which is pretty much how it is.  But at least I got to say what I wanted to and he really listened that was really good!  NC isn't all that.

I have been going over there everyday like usual and he has been better.  I don't know what has gotten into him but I am loving it.  I don't really have any anger today which is new, I can usually manage to get mad about something.  I am going with my mom later, around 1, to get our nails done and then I will probably go to Terry's, ok-most definitely go to Terry's. 

When you are in a serious relationship is it ok to see your friends less?  Because it doesn't bother me one bit.  They are still there I am just not with them all the time.  Is that wrong?  Oh well.  Guess I have vented for the day.

one more thing:  BUY JON B'S new cd "PLEASURES U LIKE" and SYLEENA JOHNSON "CHAPTER 1: LOVE,PAIN,FORGIVNESS  they are the greatest cds ever.  

                     Thanks and ya,

                                 Courtney Ja

My first entry..........WHY are guys soooooo stupid and gay, especially mine.  I don't understand him on bit.  Somedays he is the sweetest thing and others he is not so much.  This is one of his off days.

Leah calls me today and tells me that she is leaving for North Carolina this Friday and I am coming with her, so of course I am excited and ready to go.  We talk all day about what we are going to do and the food-oh god, the FOOD is the best part of the whole trip-and everything.  I call my mom at work and tell her and so everything is pretty much set except for 2 things:  My work(I work at a daycare) and Terry(my boyfriend).  The work situation probably would have went better then the Terry situation, but i didn't make it that far.  Terry called me on his lunch break and I told him about going and he immediately let me know he didn't want me to go.  I told him I really wanted to, I mean I don't have to pay for anything except souvineers-they pay for everything ( thank god because to feed me would be horrendous) so I figured he would just get over it and you know reluctantly let me be.  OH NO, he can't possibily do that.  He threatened to break up with me if I went.  He wanted me to choose HIM or NC-whatever!!!!!  That is bs.  Just when I was getting ready to choose NC he told me that he didn't want me to go because he wanted me to be with him.  I spend like everyday with him - I thought maybe he would enjoy the little week break.  Anyway after he said that I rethought and I am not going-it sucks!  I still really want to go, but I love him so I am stuck with if I have made the right decision.  Of course he is happy with it.  Oh, one more piece of info during spring break he was supposed to go to Florida with his bro and his girl but I told Terry that I didn't want him to go and he didn't and he spent the whole break with me.  And I have been to NC once this year already in April.  Does anybody have any GOOD comments or advice? 

                     thanks and ya,

                                  Courtney Ja