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CaKaLusa
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Name: Chris
Birthday: 4/26/1985
Interests: The internet, movie-making, digital photography, graphic design, getting the last word, masticating, music, the arts, and various sports involving balls that bounce.
Expertise: Dry wit & black humor
Occupation: Full-time slacker
Industry: Art & Design
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  cakalusa
Member Since:
5/30/2002
 True
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| Back to the classics |
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| Some favorite entries here.
Dig around with a quick search!
online
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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| Feast On Love.
Not that kind of feast. But I'll take this regardless.
To me, a feast of love is
any instant (or hour or lifetime) when human beings exchange affection.
It's true that sometimes we head hopefully toward what we think will be
a love-feast, offer our hearts, and meet rejection. It's true that this
hurts. But you'll find that love-feasts are so incredibly nourishing to
your soul that it's worth the risk of heartbreak to attend even the
smallest or most crowded one around.
Here are some ways to make sure you never miss a love-feast you could have attended:
1.
In Benjamin Franklin's words, "If you would be loved, love and be
lovable." Love-feasts are always potlucks: Each person must bring the
ability to love, somehow, some way. If you're waiting for someone else
to supply 100 percent of the love you need, find a therapist who's
willing to accept reciprocation in the form of cash.
2. Don't
hide love. If you feel it, express it -- not to demand that others love
you back, but simply to live outwardly the best of what you feel
inwardly. The worst that can happen to your heart is not rejection by
another person, but failure to act on the love you feel.
3. If
you have a choice between a feast of love and any other option, go with
love. Compared with other activities, love-feasts will mess up your
life, complicate your career, wear you out, make you crazy. But I
guarantee that when you look back over the time you've spent on earth,
the feasts of love will be the events you'll remember most joyfully,
the experiences that will make you glad you have lived.-mb
Amazing Make-over!
Featuring Nancy.  BeforeShe'll love you long time.  AfterOnly $3.99/min
Degrading Sports Photos of the Day BYAWWWWW!  BYAWWWWW!
On rotation.
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Makes you go "oooh oooh ooooh"
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| Hello, From the Future.
A 14 year old me and my twins. This is how we settled things.
Xanga has implemented a new feature: Future/past posting. It allows you to edit the time in which you want your post to show. Need it to post 2 days from now? It will. Want to relive the past and post it 1 year ago? Done.
I'd like to travel back in time. To make a few adjustments. There were mistakes, missed chances, regrets, actions I should've taken. But unlike Marty McFly, I don't have a time machine, nor can my beat up 1996 Jeep Cherokee reach 88mph. The things I would've told myself if I had the chance.
 88mph.
I'd tell him to start paying attention in math instead of drawing.
I'd tell him to join the basketball team instead of slacking at home, watching TV instead.
I'd of told him how not to get suspended--three times in a year.
I'd tell him to learn the piano.
I'd tell him to take photography class.
I'd tell him to ask that girl out, instead of letting her fall right through your hand.
I'd tell him to start eating bigger meals during high school.
I'd of told him not to do that, or you'll get arrested.
I'd tell him about saving 10% on my auto insurance by switching to Geico.
I'd tell him to enjoy his time in high school, because you'll really miss it when you're working full-time.
I'd tell him to travel a bit more during summer vacations. Maybe Europe and Australia.
I'd tell him to forget the girls full of unrequited love.
I'd tell him to not quit the choir and listen to the teacher's recommendations.
If you could post something today for yourself to read 10 years into the past, what would it say?
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| The AzN Keyboard.
Another quality Cakalusa-branded product. The next big thing in Japan!
 Some assembly required.
Want in on the AzN craze?
Love your "caps lock" key randomly pressed?
Enjoy having your keys misplaced on the keyboard?
Get a kick out of guessing when your spacebar works and when it doesn't want to?
Feel like getting your arse kicked by the internet community?
Then
the AzN Keyboard is for you! The AzN Keyboard has been completely
redesigned, inside and out. It
features an elegant, Made in China lead-filled finish. It also has
function keys for one-touch access to a variety of AzN features such as
squinty widescreen, Engrish subtitles, auto-pr0n download, homepage key
to Xanga, and hide pr0n. Its extended layout includes document
navigation
controls and an abacus keypad. And two USB 2.0 ports provide high-speed
connectivity for your digital camera that's always with you, and other
USB-based Hello Kitty dildo.
Features
- Randomly placed keys.
- Fashionable design. Super kawaii!
- Toxic, durable high-grade silicone.
- Ultra thin for outstanding fap, fap, fap, sensitivity
- Shock-absorbent, tear-resistant construction for those nights you have ramen spill on the keyboard.
- Easily removable, unlike your arranged marriage.
- Hand washable with happy ending.
* Not compatible with White men and yellow fever.
 Now with more funky colors!
You: aYe!
Them: Hi.
You: h0w aRr y0oH dOin?
Them: I was better, but know I have to read your shitty ass typing
You: aH hElL nAw yOoH dInT jUsT sAe dUt
The Ting Tings - shut up and let me go.
Now all get ready to dance to your silhouette.
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| A Cakalusa Research Study On: Sex & the City.
Having wondered
why so many women across America obsess over this show called "Sex
& the City", I decided to do a little research. I headed to my
local Blockbuster and rented Season 1 on DVD. The awkward stare and
pause by the male Blockbuster cashier didn't make my transaction any
smoother. I guess I shouldn't have picked up that Diet Coke along with
my purchase.
THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOUUUUUUU!
The DVDs are currently sitting on my desk waiting
to be played on my DVD player, possibly rendering the device useless
after the first 10 minutes of viewing. But for scientific research, I'm
more than willing to blow $150 in the name of Man-ology studies.
Anyone interested in diving into this dark hole with me? There's plenty of Diet Coke.
Cakalusa's Humbling Moments: Terrible Typo's.
Her: This Mounds bar is good. Little too sweet.
Me: Do you like coocunt?
Her: what?!
Well, at least I'm not TERRIBLY off. Typing "coocunt" in google brings up this image:
 A tasty jar of coocunt. Yummo!
That's NOT what she said. Really!
Me: Do anything in particular?
Her: I got a haircut.
Me: Oh, how's it look? Faux-hawk?
Her: How'd you know? Nah, just bangs n' layers. Nothin' big.
Me: That's what she said! (Pause) Err..not to me though!
To help celebrate my Latin heritage and Cinco de Mayo,
I will be finishing the 12-pack of Coronas in my fridge. Adios!
 Mmm...beber! | | |
| Tired of the Neighbors.
At work, there is
a wall that separates people from staring at each other's fugly mugs
for 9 hours a workday. Unfortunately, it's not thick enough. So when
this female co-worker (not my department, and I've yet to see her
face)--who admittedly, has a pretty cute voice--holds a phone conversation, I hear it
all. Every freaking detail. Even when she whispers, trying to keep it
private.
Some of the lines I hear:
-"I wanna shave my head."
-"I cant wait to see you!"
"No, I cant wait to see YOU!"
-"Okay, I believe you. I trust you."
-"Oops! That was my birth control pill."
-"Deal with it."
-"Oh my god, you scared me! It was a big bug!"
-"Why are you breathing so hard?"
UGH! I just wanna punch right through that office wall, smashing her face in during the process.
 "BAM, MUTHAF*CKA!"
Comment of the Day.
Xanga Unsubscribed. "Of
all the features that xanga need to work on, they should have one that
lets you know, and notifies you, when someone unsubs you. The subber
that is performing such an action must also fill out a survey and a
essay portion, in detail, as to the reason why s/he is leaving. The
survey will consist of areas of where the blogger can improve. I always
wonder if I have offended someone or if I havent offended them enough
when a subber leaves." Editor's note: I can relate. Since my Xanga "temporary name change leave" I lost about 30 subbers. It's like losing your crops to locusts. CURSE YOU, SWARMING LOCUSTS!
Degrading Asian Photo of the Day
 Velly jearous. | | |
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