Kim Jong Il is the illest.
There's his signature hairstyle. The dictator artfully conceals his
midget-like stature by wearing platform shoes (circa 1978) and whipping his hair into
stiff peaks (familiar?). So what if the autocrat feels a little self-conscious
about his height? That's understandable -- he's only 5'2". Napoleon was four inches taller than that, for Chrissake.
I'm now 3 inches taller. Thanks, Supercuts!
Granted, the man dresses like a freakshow. But that doesn't mean he actually is
one. In fact, Kim does a fine job running North Korea.
Some people regard nepotism as a bad thing, especially when
it comes to governance. Just look at ol' Jeb Bush down in Florida. They argue that you really don't want
incompetent men running important government posts, because they
tend to screw up spectacularly.
Not that I promote Communism or other sorts of evil governmental practice. But damn, he's gangster.
That hair is to die for!
Do you dare oppose me? Off with your head.
Kim Jong Il whose net worth approaches $4 billion -- because he has
always had expensive tastes. He likes fast cars (like a rapper), gourmet foods (like a rapper), and
fine liquors (like a rapper). Suffice to say, none of these luxuries are produced in
North Korea and FedEx doesn't deliver there. As expensive as those
luxuries are in the West, they cost even more to procure north of the
38th Parallel. But obtain them he must. Evidently, the man loves to
throw banquets and has a liking for fine cognac (his favorite is
Hennessy V.S.O.P, not Crystal').
Lil' John's goblet ain't got a thang on mine!
Join the Kim Jong K'iller's as they take the world by storm
"Crash," a film without a plot but manages to sucker you out of $9.25.
The film "Crash" in bulletpoint form:
- Black people are thieves
- So are Mexicans because they have tattoos
- Asians can't speak Engrish
- Persians can be considered Arabs, along with Indian people
- All White people are racists.
- Ludacris doesn't like rap. How ironic.
- Country music is terrible
- Blacks know how to shuck'n'jive
"But I left the oven on! We must go back!"
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