| | The Evidence.
Hi!!! i'm ricebunny!! i'm totally conceited!!! I can't stop these exclamation marks!!! IT'S OUT OF CONTROL!!! @_@
I never say anything negative!!
Oooh, and make-up! Oh, this just gives me more of a reason to post more picture
of myself. See, I really just use this as an excuse to plaster my face
all over here!!! Don't you guys worry about that--I'm no webcam whore!!!
Here I am breathing some air!!!
OOOh, pretty clock! I love staring at random things while my camera goes off mysteriously!!!
Hehehe, here I am, turning a doorknob. SO KEWL!!!!
See, I love to read!!!!!!!!
Oooh, here I am, flushing a toilet. FLUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!
!!!!!!!!!
And don't you forget!!!! Look at my art, you're going to have to pay "commission" fees.
Don't worry, some people are stupid enough to buy it and not go to my
deviantart site and "save as." Silly xanga kiddies!!!!
Here's my super-dee-duper tutorial on how to be a pretentious whoreo!
Awww, so cute! Two lovely couples!!!
Hehe, what's this?!!! Mr. Affleck, why are you leaving J-Lo?!!!!
OMG!! They're homosexual now!?!
yay!!!! THREESOME!!!!
The Rebuttal.
Yowzers! Take a dose of methylphenidate, please. Certain people have
been placed on Xanga to please one of 5 senses, vision being one of
them. Planting numerous pictures of God knows how many of yourself is
not part of that. It certainly doesn't please. What I
don't get is the amount of conceitedness. Must every entry have at least 5 pics with herself in it? Who do we speak of? Oh,
you've seen her around a bit. She's got about 32,482 miles of
pedophilic men swarming her site, ogling over her pictures. Obviously she hasn't taken my posting about camwhores into consideration.
"Excuse me, which aisle has a bottle of vain?"
Good ol' ricebunny. Dare I say that you venture to her site at your own
risk? If you enter, be sure to carry along with you sound-proof
headphones to rid of the terribly annoying songs that play, an OC24
(1.244 Gb/sec aka fast as hell broadband) connection--all her pics may take
2 days to load, and a steak knife. Why the steak knife? To gouge your
eyes if your computer freezes on you and cannot exit her site.
Because I love kissing air. MWUAH! MWUAH!
What gets to me every time are the many picture she has with her
cheek puffed out. What is this, a visual metaphor for cheap blowjobs?
Some days, when I feel stressed out, I feel
like puncturing one of them with a needle. POW! Pho all over the place.
Holding her glasses in place until the super-glu sets in.
The most common response when one reaches her site. "HOOOMPH!"
Oopsies! How'd I end up down here?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
But you have one thing going for you, Ms. Pho, at least you're not terribly
ugly. When ugly, and I mean fugly, fatty, and one posts pics of themselves, it's extremely repulsive.
Even still, that doesn't give you the right to post gigabytes of pictures of
yourself (that shiets for the latest Paris Hilton voyeur!). Hell, you don't even provide proper reasons at times.
"Here's a pic of me today!!!" "Here's twenty pictures of me walking to
McDonalds!!!"
No thank you. We don't need that.
You're just lucky Ray Charles isn't there to find you mocking him, racist.
But if you enjoy legions of stalkers, tons of eProps, and becoming a household name for narcissism, here's how to become a Ricebunny in 5 easy steps:
- Grow a vagina. Overnight, you'll notice numerous subscribers, a majority of them being boys recently hitting puberty.
- Buy only Sanrio products. Nothing more. If you can't find any in
your local shopping area, go for the next best thing, cut and paste
pokemon cards all over your shirts and jackets. Instant cuteness factor.
- Apply make-up as much as you eat. That means 3-4 times a day. Or once, depending if you're anorexic.
- Now that you have a plastered face, whip out that digital camera
and start snapping away. Be creative, place acorns on your head, smear
dog turd across your cheeks, be wild, be Rice!
- Great! Now that you have amazingly cute pictures
of yourself with
leaves and twigs in your hair, and hundreds of Xanga followers, go about
selling some artwork at gouged prices. God can't watch EVERYONE at
once, so go and take advantage of the situation! $20 for an MSPAINT
drawing, sure! $60 for a detailed photoshopping of my genitalia? But of
course! The possibilities are endless. But it doesn't stop there! Use
all that "hard earned" profit and spruce up your cosmetic collection.
And the cycle continues.
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