| | If you work for MTV, I can prevent you from ending up in Hell.
MTV as everybody knows stands for "Music Television". Yet if you flip
your channel to what's playing, you'll come to the quick realization
that it's more like MACCTV (Modern American Culture and Crap
Television.) "Why all the hostility with this channel, why not just
change the channel?" Because if you watch MTV, surely enough you'll see that it's
not about music at all. It's just another channel devoted to teen
pop culture, sleaze, bad music and the American way.
MTV was created because somebody discovered bands who had music videos
to promote the sales of their albums sold at least 40% more records
than bands without one. This alone sparked interest to make a channel
devoted to and for music video and music news.
Fast forward 10 years to today, and you get crap like Jackass, that
show starring a man who's 40 but looks 12, and of course, Laguna Beach. Miles upon
miles of reality shows. It doesn't seem to give up either. So what is
my proposal? Make something worthwhile. Something that will spark a
viewers interest, not bore them to sleep, and then cash in on them by
producing seasons onto DVD.
That is why I'm here, MTV. I'm here to be your savior. You can't sleep
with all your evil money in Hell, it'll disintegrate! So, I present to
you MTV's newest reality show, featuring your favorite Hip-Hop artist,
Lil' Jon. WHAT? Oh, you know it. Throw Lil' Jon into any show and he'll
be your ladder to the top of the Nielsen ratings.
Set your TIVOs for this years best damn reality show.
Laguna Skeet, the reality show both the White folk and Black brothers can enjoy.
She actually thought I was THIS big!
Together, can they stay under the same roof and still remain intact?
Can Lil' Jon serenade his way to a young girls heart? Or will he fail
and just skeet in the bathroom by his lonesome self? Find out, in
tomorrow's episode of Laguna Skeet.
And it looks like hurricane Katrina is behind you as well.
Now lets take a sneak peek at what Laguna Skeet has to offer.
[Int. Laguna Skeet house kitchen]
[Daytime]
Everyone is lounging around, some busy conversing, others doing their own thing.
 Steve: God, why am I so sexy? My narcissistic ways will be the end of all mirrors!
 Hatt: Yeah, gnarly!
 Lil Jon: YEAH!
Yeah, gnarly!
YEAH!
Yeah, gnarly!
Yeah!
 Tanya: God, can you BOTH shut up?
Who the hell are you?
Like,
come on now! I'm the stereotypical bitch who drives her daddy's BMW and
gets spoiled beyond comprehension. I end up breaking up with a
boyfriend who is a total slacker, but I end up crying at the end of
each episode and need constant consoling.
 Paris: That's hot.
 What?! Paris Hizzleton! SKEET! SKEET!
Does anybody want to do my laundry?
 Juwan: Want to make hot love first?
 Can you both shuttup? I'm trying to eat here. Then I'll go purge. But just shuttup.
Anyway, I really think you're special. I think we can make things
happen. I mean, we're practically too much alike! It's as if God wanted
us to be together. And yeah, you definitely have a great personality.
 Titties: :jiggle:
And that's why I love you.
Excuse me if there are any factual errors, I've never seen an episode of the show. I don't know any names, so bear with me.
But he looked like a Steve, and she looks like a hook--er..Tanya.
Now tell me that's not MTV gold? Eh? Eh?
Lil' Jon's got it
Debuting this fall on MTV3
Photo of the Day
Honk if you're REALLY horny.
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| | Posted 11/21/2005 4:15 PM - 167 comments
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