| | Scented Bath Towels: Why did it take so long for me to come up with this?
Dripping
wet, hot and steamy, panting from this steam-filled room, no it's not a
cheap porno; I just stepped out of the shower. Vigorously drying
myself, starting with my shoulder-length hair, next focusing on my
face, I took a whiff. It was a new towel you see, and I could tell from
the extra hoarseness, it was a fresh-from-the-linen-closet bath towels
normally bring. But this, it smelled of fried chicken. There, at that
single moment, I hit an epiphany. "Eureka!" I said to myself, glancing
at myself in the mirror--shit, you're a genius, Chris. Suddenly, it
came to me like a basket of oven-fresh bread in an Italian restaurant,
I was on to something.
Presenting to you, scented bath towels in varying aromas/stenches.
- Wintergreen - Don't
let your mouth have all the fun, let wintergreen envelope your body in
one of the most aromatic scents dutifully enjoyed by your taste buds
after dinner, or after that third onion and garlic dip.
- Tropical fruits - In
this house, a Queen always beats a straight. Let it be known, let it be
proud, show your pride. Straight from the jungles of Bed Bath, and
Beyond, our safari experts excavate some of the rarest scents, battling
and wriggling through young females, only to bring it to your home.
- Polo Sport - Feel
like taking a "French Shower" but short on 2 gallons of cologne? Fret
not, my friend, these line of Polo Sport towels will quickly banish
those ghastly odors to the land of wind and ghosts. BEGONE!
- Shrimp Scampi
- If you enjoy being an un cleansed vagina, this is for you. If you love
being chased by seagulls, fishermen, and lesbians, this is for you.
- Chinese food -
Love that Kung Pao smell? Can't get enough of MSG? Miss that
cholesterol-rising aroma you can only find at your SAT-acing friend,
Ping-Pong's house? Look no further, this towel will bring that to you.
- Indian - I can feel a public outcry coming now.
- Detergent - Why are you even considering this?
- Urine -
Love that warm golden shower? Continue with it outside of the bath, and
enjoy your ammonia-filled time with yourself. Just don't come by my
house thanking me. Also a great gift for the homeless.
- High School locker room - Read #8
- Napalm -
Pay homage to your favorite war-movie "Apocalypse Now." A limited run,
so get these now. Free shipping to Vietnamese customers.
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| | Posted 1/25/2006 4:00 PM - 164 comments
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