| | BATTLE FLAVOR OF THE MONTH!
It's
fight night here in the death-filled stadium of mass massacre of the
mass asses! Seat your political violence-loving butts down because this
match is going to be a real treat!
With one of these contestants already dead and one soon to be, it's a toss-up in this close match-up that's sure to be replayed over, and over, and over, again on ESPN!
Abraham Lincoln
In
this corner, we have Abraham "Honest Abe will kick your ass" Lincoln.
Standing a towering 6 feet 4 inches, he's ready to lay a Gettysburg
Address on your ass. Winner of the Civil War in America, he's got the
knowhow on military moves and strategy.
Special Moves:
- Has a "penetrating and far-reaching" voice that could be heard over great distances [1]. It's high-pitched and "tended to become even more shrill when he became excited. At times, it was even unpleasant."
- His trademark tophat conceals a secret weapon: can of whup-ass with a side of judo chop.
- He's got the support of all the Blacks across the United States. This include Billy Blank.
Fidel Castro
This communist madman will overthrow you like a Crown Princess cruise ship sailor.
Charismatic and one who is quite familiar with firearms (AK-47!), he
can quickly organize and train a group of guerillas waiting at your
doorstep faster than you can say "Cuban Missile Crisis."
Special Moves:
- The Soviet Strike. Having strong ties with the Soviet Union, manpower is of no concern.
- Collection
of Crazy Communist Cuban Clones. If the rumors are true, you've seen
one of 9 Fidel Castro's on television. Wonder what 18 fists flying
towards you feels like? Ask our friend Fidel.
WHO WINS? YOU DECIDE NOW!
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| | Posted 8/1/2006 4:02 PM - 80 comments
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