CactusRose89's Xanga

waves

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 00:55:20 GMT

I've been told quite a few times it's way past time for me to update this so here I go!

Life has been really busy for me lately. I finished my first semester at college. It was a lot different and better than I thought it would be, and I think I enjoyed it. For the most part at least. I had fun riding to and from campus with my bestest friends eveh.

So that was the first thing that was keeping me busy.

The second is that I'm engaged. Yes, yes, you heard it right. I'm getting married on Feb. 2nd to a guy named Tony...which means I will soon be movin to Nebraska. It's going to be like the hardest thing ever, I know. A couple times in the past couple months I've caught myself cuddled up in a fetal postition in my bed with my favorite stuffed animal crying saying "this is toooooooo hard, God! whaaaaaaat are you thinkin!!". However even though I will be leaving my family and friends I am looking forward to starting my new life there and see what God has in store! It's been so amazing to me to watch God write my love story over the past months. It seems like He likes to do things when you least expect it, doesn't He? I'm really really happy. My guy is a cute italian boy that owns a computer business(www.PowerDnn.com). He loves God and family, and me. I'm often amazed at how good of a leader he is and how perfect we are for each other. Ok end sappiness! Pictures:

So between being thrown between Nebraska and Mississippi, keeping up with school, planning a wedding, and keeping up with the holidays I have been quite busy...thus my excuse for lack of posts.

What the Filipinos taught me...

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 22:36:08 GMT

I realized tonight how much I had forgotten about my trip to the Philippines and how much it meant to me. I looked at my pictures and saw the little faces of the children, and staff memebers of Compassion there, and it made me remember what they go through every day for survival. I got frustrated that I haven't shared their story as much as I should have(because that's my part)...so here it is. This is only part of it--written after the second day. There is so much more, but, you will have to go without it for now, unless you want to ask me and I will try to share the full story. Please, take time to read this--not because it's good...it's not perfect in any writers perspective, but it's my heart and these peoples' lives.

-----

When I got to the Philippines Sunday, I was really tired and really unprepared for what would happen in the next few days. My heart was not ready to be Christ's ambassador. It was not ready to do what we as Christians are called to do--love as Christ loved.

So it was with this truth lurking in me that I went to bed Sunday night. I woke up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, but God had given me a prayer. "Don't let me be a 'clean', white, middle class republican from America that is afraid to get dirty, afraid to smell like the places I had been, afraid to cry, afraid to laugh, afraid to love." I don't know how many times I prayed this that night, but in the morning I had a new peace. So, after breakfast, we headed off to the projects and I was quite nervous. When we arrived at Compassion Headquarters, here in Manila, I was overwhelmed with the excitement, joy, and love of these workers. If you didn't know any better, you'd think you were someone really special from the way they treated you. By the end of lunch I was starting to realize how amazing these people really are. They love to laugh. Love to talk about Jesus. Love to dance. Love to sing in worship. But these are the workers. They have nice houses, I'm sure. They have plenty to eat. Why not be happy?

After lunch we were off to our first project site. I was pretty nervous as I lathered on my insect repellant and sunscreen and stuck my handy germ-x in my bag. When we arrived we were overwhelmed by greetings from the workers and mothers and children. We made our way to a large pavilion and sat down. In a minute I realized that where I was sitting was the classroom. American kids would die if they had to go to school in a "picnic spot" where it was hot and humid. How spoiled we are, I thought. I looked at face after face of the mothers of these children. Almost all of them had a ready smile and welcome for me. They were so happy. Of course, these mothers have plenty to eat, plenty of security since they are enrolled with Compassion right? So why not be happy?

Soon we were headed in little groups to the "homes". I wasn't quite sure what to expect and when they dropped us off at a little corner store I hopped out and looked around. Uhh...where are the houses? Our leader lead us through a narrow alley beside a standing of water that made your stomach turn. It was so dark you could hardly see where you were going. We soon took a left turn, and went down another alley that was about 3 ft wide maybe, then ducked through another area, and then up a ladder and into a little room. On our way, we had passed countless people living in little areas wherever they could find a place to lay. Children ducked in and out of view. The amazing thing was, these people, too, had a smile and hearty welcome for us. One lady shook my hand and kissed me--again, were I not otherwise aware, I would almost think I was someone special. So anyway, the woman welcomed us in to her house. It was a small room about 5ft by 5ft, with a small area where they had their "food" and the rest was empty--this was their kitchen, bedroom, living room, den, breakfast room, dining room, and playroom all rolled into one. Our little group piled in there, and we talked with the lady and her child, Jeremy, and her nephew Jericho(who was sick and not enrolled in Compassion but would be soon). It hit me that places like these--probably a lot worse than this one, was where all those happy mothers and all those smiling children lived. The lady we were with, I think, was pretty shy and I could sense that she had hurt a lot. I could almost feel the way her heart must have felt--bleeding and broken and scared. Her nephew was sick. She never knew when her child might get sick. Her husband had a bad disease of the liver. And then, who knows what she had been through in her life. We prayed for her, and I hugged her. I don't think she was used to being hugged, but she gave me a kiss in return. I will never forget her, and I won't cease to pray for her. As we left we were smiled at and told "goodbye" by countless children and mothers and fathers and grandmothers. They seemed happy. Why be happy?

So now I come to the point of why I was writing. God has shown me how amazingly wrong Americans are(and I am adding myself in with this). We are so scared of getting our reputations dirty, getting out clothes dirty. We are scared of loving without fear of being hurt, or not getting anything in return. We are scared of dancing. We are scared of living life to the fullest. We are scared of letting Christ be the center of our life. We are scared of not smelling like the finest cologne or perfume. We are scared of not having time to go to Starbucks on Tuesday mornings. These people, the Christians and non-Christians, are so happy and full of life and yet they live in conditions we wouldn't let a stray cat live in. If we in America would stop obsessing over the newest iPod or hottest hairstyle, and start living in the reality of Christ and all the amazing things He has done for us we would be able to live life how God meant it to be lived. I can't help but think that this is how He wants us to live--happy, free to love, free to laugh, free to dance! What else do we need--what else do we need to see? Things won't make us happy, this place shows us that. So why not dive into the ocean of Christ and see how He can change our worlds into a place of beauty and happiness and most of all, love.

So, I came here wanting to show these people Christ's love. However, these people are showing me Christ's love, and Christ's beauty. Even the ugliest, most smelly, smallest house, if there is Christ's love there--is beautiful. Christ has put His beauty in every person, every thing. We just don't realize it. I plan to go back home, with a new outlook on life. I want to love without fear, laugh, cry, dance, in the realization that Christ is all we need, and He can truly make us happy no matter how much or how little we have.

As for these people here--well they will go on living in the streets, not knowing where their next meal is coming from, the mothers will stay awake at night worrying about her sick children and husband in prison unless we step up and give what we can to them, whether it's just hugging them or whether it's giving money or our time. Compassion International is doing all of those things and doing an amazing job. Men, women, and children are getting the things that they need for survival and learning about the God that gives them the ability to do the things they love. You see, another thing I learned is that mission work is not about giving money or putting food on tables. These are just the things that flow as a result of what missions is all about which is, yep you guessed it, love. Love makes things happen. It puts food on the table. It heals diseases. It brings a song to your lips. It makes you want to dance. It makes you happy. Love is only a reflection of Christ. So whenever we see love or happiness we can see Christ, whether it's in America watching a movie while eating popcorn and laughing with a friend, or whether it's a child playing kickball in the streets of Manila. God is there. Why not be happy?
---

After I wrote this article, we went to a cemetary which was home to lots of these kids. It was very sobering. In my writing up above, I hope you don't think that I was trying to be flippant. There is still pain. There are times to be serious and times to be happy too. :) Don't forget the faces you see below--let them remind you of "the least of these" which Christ talked about when He was on earth. Pray for them. :)

(This was a little guy that was crying near his home--in the cemetary)

Cincinnati!

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 14:10:59 GMT

We had a complete blast in Cincinnati! It was the Trullet family, Zak and I, and Tony. We went to Kentucky Down Under, swam, canoed(which was totally awesome even though I got really really sunburned and Zak lost his flip flop and glasses and Tony almost drowned me tryin to toss me back in the canoe...), swing danced at midnight in the parking lot of the hotel to Glenn Miller's "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree"(that was amazingly fun!), annnd went to the Creation Museum. Also went to the Cheesecake Factory and shopping.

Here are some pictures:

Zak, me, Allison, Tony

The Angelic girls....

The uhh...less...angelic guys. They were a scary pair I tell you...

Tony and I had like a kazillion million waterfights....but this was one of the first and it was at the Cheesecake Factory...can you tell who is a country girl?

Umm....this one is hard to explain. I was bored. And those fingers are from some random person. People are weird. :P

David is the most adorable kid in the whole world. No question about it.

Our little group.

yaaaaaaay

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 09:40:43 GMT

Hooray!! It's friiiiiday!!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:24:54 GMT

Life has been extra crazy lately, but yet still good.

God is teaching me a lot about life, which will definitely come in handy. I feel like I've been in a cloud, only I didn't know it and everywhere I looked was this hazy blue that I thought was the essence of life, then slowly Jesus pulled me through it and BAM. Wow. There's this clear blue out there. It's a lot easier to breathe out there, too. Yay. I like it. Now I feel kinda like a kindergartner again, but that's good I think. Nah, I know it is.

So, that's where I am with that. In other things, I'm *still* trying to figure out what to do this fall. Nothing clear about that, but I'll keep searching. My place has to be out there somewhere. A place where I'm needed, helpful, furthering the Kingdom of God...the kingdom I'm a part of, and a place where I *know* it's right and know it's good. That's what I want.

So for now, I'm just livin life, He's holdin my hand, and I'm lovin Him--waitin on the next step!

Hope you guys had a good fourth of July. We went to my cousins house and swam and ate and then Zak and I went to Ballard Park for the fourth of July celebration--lotsa loud music, funnel cakes, people, smiles and giggles. Gotta love it.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 10:40:29 GMT

We had lotsa fun at the Traylors. We rollar skated, washed dishes, had the infamous Friday Night Bible Study, almost picked blueberries, held puppies, danced, snuggled, went to a museum, walked up and down and up and down and up and down the drive way...

Yep. Pretty normal for a get-to-gether with them.

-----

I got a new piano!!! It's gooooooorgeous. Oh my goodness. I'm officially in love with it. Its a Kawai upright with black glossy finish. *faints* I would take a picture only I lost my memory card. shhhhhhh.

is sad

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:44:53 GMT

Not A Day Goes By
-Lonestar

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night
Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right
And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark
Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart
If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Luv

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 09:28:44 GMT

I love my Deniseybaby.

She's soooo awesome. She's fun, cool, hilarious, she listens when you need to talk, walks when you need to walk...annnd is just awesome in ever'way I think. *giggles*

Random stuff

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 21:08:56 GMT

To keep in tradition with....myself, I thought now would be a timly time for a random post of just this and that whatever happens to pop into my head(scary huh? ). So here goes. *puts on safty helmet*

Today marks a new week. And it's nice so far. I think this was the best Monday I've had in quite a while. We cleaned the church this morning(definitely not a highlight but not a lowlight either so that's nice). Swept up a lot of bugs. Dude you'd be surprised at how many dead bugs collect--especially in the nursery. And that's just wrong...poor little kids. Then. *dramatic music* I got out the disinfectang lysol spray. I think I got a little high on it. Just ask Jennifer/Julie/Christa.

But we all survived. Whoohooo!

Then I took a nap. Then I ate. Is any of this sounding familiar?

Anyway. This weekend, Lord willing, I get to go to the Traylors!! I can't wait. This will be the...*thinks* 5th time we've been together. Suweet. Should I post a picture of each time we've been together? That sounds fun.

April 2006 - Big Boulder

July 2006 - LillieFest

November 2006 - Pinkville

April 2007 - Loves Colliding Joy
(That has to be the worst group picture we have EVER made...and the sad thing is it's the only one we took...take notes for this weekend!)

That was fun. *giggles*

I been thinkin lately how much like an old woman I am. It's really depressing. See I'm like ALWAYS cold. Always freezing. Like the other day we were at my grandmothers house and when everybody was ready to turn the AC colder I was ready to get a blanket out. And in the car I'm always like *shivers* PLEASE TURN THE AIR DOWN, when everybody else is burning up. Isn't that pitiful?? Dad says I just need to bring a little blanket everywhere I go. hehe. I guess I'm just special.

*sighs*

Ok I'm through for tonight. *waves*

My cute cousin! :D

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:02:05 GMT

Okay peoples, she's the cuuutest is she not?!?!

I had so much fun playing with her today. Nothin like a baby. :)