gung hay fat choy!

year of the rat.  fab animal ...?... sure it is!  today naomi came over and i made her delicious mac&cheese.  i got n;ue tissue paper, a baggie, and a tiny cadbury egg from heather =D  ummmmm.  and that's really about it.  basbagill essay.  i think i'm going to hurt myself.  yayyyyyyyy!

ps. happy birthday jackie =)

213. i hate teacher recommendation day aka the day you pick your classes for next year
214. i'm a numbers girl.  math, math related science.  my thing.  english, writing [essays], memorizing.  not so much.
215. i <3 my Anlyn Bland aka CAL.  best volleyball coach in the world =)

ohmyverygosh.

i think i had the craziest weekend in my entire life.  friday. school, went to the day care for community service.  got home around 5:40ish?  fell asleep on the couch at 5:45.  woke up an hour later to eat dinner where i didn't have that much so it lasted, let's say 10 minutes?  went back to sleep.  mom woke me up on the couch at 8 to tell me to go upstairs.  woke up saturday to my wonderful alarm.  sooo i basically got like 12 hours of sleep.  insanity.  saturday was practice sat's, home, lunch, gma's for chinese new year.

yesterday's where the fun begins.  woke up at 5 to leave the house at 5:30 to catch the 6:23 train out of fairfield.  i couldn't sleep on the way in or the way home.. which majorly sucks.  but anyway, dance olympus may be one of the best experiences i've had in my life.  we danced from 8 in the morning til 3:30 in the afternoon.  okay.  so until 8:45 we stretched and did a crazy ab work and leg work.  but still.  we were doing stuff!  except for the hour for lunch and shopping.  the first class honestly scared the crap out of me.  it was tap with brian santora.  and he's a pretty cool guy, and kinda good looking, and i think he's straight.  but anyway, we [me, kaitlin, vicky, and kellie - NO JAMIE!  yessss!] didn't get out onto the floor as fast as the other girls so we ended up in the back.  and it was just really hard cause we couldn't see over everyone and we didn't know the steps he was doing.  even though he said he'd make the sounds first and then we repeat it, we couldn't hear anything because everyone else was tapping!  i mean come on!  so i was freaking out .. but then jazz with michael clowers was amazing.  it was like theatre jazz so it was a lot of fun like kaitlin said, that theatre junkie!  apparently me and her are making c/kaitlin squared matching shirts for next year =)  sooo i'd have to say that class set me off to a better mood and i felt a lot better about the classes.  i'm just sad cause tap could've been so much better.  we got it .. but not really.  although it was fun when none of us knew what was going on so we just made up stuff.  and sarah says the key is to smile so he doesn't look at your feet!  haha.  after break we had hip hop aka jazz funk with jay t and he's amazing.  his style isn't that sharp .. it's smooth, but at the same time it's not.  we danced to mary j blige - just fine and that class felt REALLY good.  it was sooo much fun, especially cause i actually knew what was going on.  it was just filled with attitude and strutting and all about me and letting loose.  naturally the part where there's booty popping, kellie's rocking it .. somehow kaitlin shook it .. and of course christine was there watching us.  sarah said she didn't realize it was us, so i guess that's a good thing.  we skipped ballet even though we promised patricia dickinson at stretch and strengthing that we would attend her class ... oh well!  ballerinas are scary!  they're all perfect and i'm soo not.  haha.  after lunch were the greatest classes.  the choreographers were incredible.  i know i've been raving about everything, but really ... ohmygosh.  sarah jo fazio [lyrical], antonio sisk [contemporary], and mario velez jr [hip hop] .. i don't even have words to explain it.  they were by far my favorite choreographers of the day.  sarah jo and antonio are geniuses, and mario's a 5'1" cancer survivor who can move like no one else i've ever seen in my entire life.  he's absolutely amazing.  he performed the dance he chorographed for us to learn and my mouth literally hit the floor [seventeen years - ratatat .. super fast song].  okay, not literally, but it was the first time in my life i've been that impressed/shocked with anything that my mouth was open like that.  i turned around to christine and she just laughed at me.  his body just moves and his movement's so smooth.  the steps are pretty sharp, but he makes it flow and it was just perfect.  the isolations, the popping.. ohmygosh.  it blew my mind.  and then it's nice to know his survival story, so kudos to mario.  sarah jo.  wow.  i adore her.  her choreography is so strong and flowing and beautiful [we are the champions - gavin degraw].  we all came to class late from lunch and starbucks cause the class started early.  we missed the first set of 8, but we caught on because it flowed so well and it just made sense.  i can honestly say that i've never danced like that before in my life.  not just because i've never danced lyrical before, but just cause i've never danced with that passion and fire before.  she told us to close our eyes and imagine the worst day of our life and if we dance strong enough then it would be wiped away forever.  and i just went out there and i left everything out on the floor.  i've never hit anything that hard with that much power.  i felt that dance with every part of my body and i think that was the most rewarding experience i could've gotten.  she leaves me speechless.  she has a fire burning within her and it comes back every time she moves.  i think that class immediately turned me into a better dancer.  i can't say enough about it.  antonio sisk.  after following up with lyrical i was totally into it.  i didn't feel his dance as much as sarah jo's probably cause it was a lot softer and smoother.  but ah!  apparently he had recently hurt himself but he still moved so well and he's uber flexi.  me, kellie, and vicky "spotted" the dance on the carpet cause there were so many people.  really, we did it every time one of the three groups would go out.  that's a lot of dancing, as in i was sweating at the end of it.  unfortuantely chris wasn't there to witness our dance like she did for lyrical, but that's alright.  it was beautiful though.  i loved it.  the entire time i was there i didn't wanna stop.  i was hit with an entire adrenaline rush and my body felt so loose and like i could do anything i wanted to do.  too bad that's not how i feel today.  after we got back to fairfield, me and mom went to arby's for dinner and went to vball practice for 2 hours.  got home 15 hours and 25 minutes after we originally left the house.  ridiculous right?  we got back in time for the 4th quarter of the superbowl.  but man.  today, my body's not liking me.  my abs kill from the crazy crunches which are ridiculously effective, my lefts hurt, my neck hurts, my lower back, my shoulders, everything you could possibly imagine.  either way my day was amazing and i learned so much.  dance really is about a story.  you need to believe that story created in order to sell it.  you dance so much better if you live, breathe, feel that story with every part of you.  yesterday i've done things i never thought i could.  i feel so grateful for being able to have this experience and to have been in the presence of such amazing people, and from this i've realized just how much i love dancing.

202. when i hit a certain stress level point, i just break down and cry
203. i cannot not do my homework.
204. i absolutely LOVE lyrical and contemporary dancing
205. and jazz/theatre is ridiculously fun
206. and of course tap.  =)
207. and hip hop ... and well every other type of dance.
208. but latin ballroom can be a little scary at times.. especially when the dancers are little kids.
209. ballerinas intimidate me
210. i adore my january 13, 2008 xanga entry
211. i think it's freaky scary when horoscopes can be so dead on
212. i don't experience butterflies in my stomach

my daily love tarot

Image - copyright 1998 Lo Scarabeo S.r.l.

The Ace of Chalices card reversed suggests that if your heart isn't in it, then you should get off the emotional roller coaster. If your heart is in it, pour out your feelings to the one you love before it's too late. Crying over spilt milk, taking things too personally, turning your back on potential romance or commitment or drowning sorrows may be excuses for avoiding a confrontation with the stranger in the mirror. Loneliness born of fear or damaged self-esteem may lay hidden beneath a calm exterior. Learn to depend upon yourself for fulfillment, attention, interest and consideration. The satisfaction gleaned from others' approval is temporary and superficial. Work toward wholeness and happiness by being willing to expand your own expectations. Embrace the commitment and sacrifice necessary to cross your own emotional boundaries.

so yayyyy midterms are over!  didn't feel like we had them this week but that's okay.  halfway through the year sounds excellent but at the same time part of me doesn't want it to be senior year just for that one reason.  things'll be changing and we all know how much i love that.

it's inevitable.  live it up.

196. people hate crocs.  i love mine.  they're purple, they've got cute lil volleyballs in them.  what more can a girl want?  problem: i can't wear them without socks.  just doesn't happen.
197. i'm convinced crocs are a volleyballer's best friend.
198. i can't play an intense sport without having my hair in a ponytail.
199. i absolutely love gatorade =)  [btw blue's the best]
200. i'm a sucker for any dance movie.
201. and strangely enough.. i'll watch any bring it on movie at any time.

ps. i'm SO excited for dance olympus on Feb 3!!

Currently Listening Enchanted Ever Ever After see related

taking things for granted

every single day, every single moment, we take for granted the things in our life.  it's even from the simple things we never think of, for example, the air we breathe, the civilized environment that we literally live in.  and then it can get deeper than that.  the people that deal with us every day.  our friends, our family.  it's a known fact or maybe even a cliche that your family will always be there for you at the end of the day.  blood is thicker than water.  knowing that, we put the thoughts of our family further to the back.  we don't say "i love you" every chance we get.  i know for me, it's a lot harder to say those three simple words to my family than to my friends.  why?  i don't really know.  it might be because yeah.  they'll always be there for me.  friends, there's petty stuff.  we get mad at each other, we get annoyed.  friendships can change just as quickly as they started.  maybe saying "i love you" is like a reinforcement that you need.  either way, all those people are important.  they make you who you are .. even your enemies, even those people you're so glad you'll never see again.  they all make a difference.

but something i'm really thinking of in terms of this would have to be my friends.  i know i can be difficult, and i'm sorry.  i know that i don't say everything on my mind, so maybe this entry's a "don't waste any more time" kind of thing.  it's hard getting past that obstacle.. that thing that's in the way of you and your ideas of what you want to say and then you actually saying them.  that thing you eventually have to get over, but you're standing in front of it walking back and forth trying to figure out a way or just hoping it'll get smaller .. hoping someone else will do something first.  but you can't spend your life waiting for someone else to take the first step.  sometimes you just have to dive in and hope everything'll be okay.  maybe that's why i'm saying this.  i don't want you to think i haven't been waiting.  i want you to know that i'm hoping you see why it's so important to me and why it's such a big deal.  understand that i want things to turn out well.  don't betray me.  i know i take the people around me for granted.  it's pretty much human nature.  i don't appreciate my friends as much as i should.  some yes, some .. not so much.  family.  definitely take them for granted.  and now, i realize that i took the best coach in the entire world, my one and only anlyn aka cal, for granted.  last season was amazing with her.  i definitely appreciated her and had so much fun.  but now that she's not my coach .. i realize that i didn't appreciate her all i could've.  she turned me into a better player and a better person.  she made me more open.  she showed me how to live a little more.  even though i always knew i loved her, i never really realized how much until now.  i miss her.. so much.  so now i'm trying to make that all known.  i don't want it to be like that with other people.  i want them to know how much i actually do love them.  how much i simply appreciate they're my friends .. how much they've affected my life.  how i never want to lose them.

we only have one life to live, so we've got to live it up.

if i was told i only had a little time left to live, i'd tell everyone how much i love them.  how sorry i am for everything i've ever done.  i'd tell them just how important they are to me because i don't say stuff like that and lie.  it's not who i am.  so i'd hope they knew how sincere i was.
the thing is ... we don't know when we're going to die.  we don't know how short life really is.. how fast the days go by.  how much all those years squish together.  we look forward to things, but don't appreciate all the days inbetween.  so now, i'm hoping my perception of things will change.  i want to live my life.

so if there's anything i'm trying to get out of this entry [which took me some time, i remind you..], it's that
i love you.

Daily Tarot

Image - copyright 1998 Lo Scarabeo S.r.l.

The Ace of Pentacles card suggests that my power today lies in assets or seeds. I have everything I need to co-create my own reality. I have value and I matter. I am empowered to nurture and tend to my own garden of purpose. I bring new life into the world.

Daily Love Tarot

Image - copyright 1998 Lo Scarabeo S.r.l.

The Five of Pentacles card suggests that your perceived deficiencies, anxieties or cravings may only exist in comparison to the group that you feel is excluding you. Remember that you have options. You are a survivor, able to deal with the flaws of your partner and the cold shoulder from those who see your values as unusual or suspect. Either may be putting a strain on your love life. You can find strength in adversity, so don't be too quick to curse your lot. Be willing to face the unknown hardships for the sake of future improvements, growth and acceptance. Soon you will be in a place where you can express yourself fully. For better or worse, you may still have each other as well as your faith that some good can come of this.

Daily Horoscope for Couples
[the couples part doesn't really do much, but it's better friend-wise..]

You can love someone but not necessarily like them all the time. Seems confusing, doesn't it? Ah, relationships -- the thing is, there's never a right answer. There's just the solution that works for right now.

so juniors today.  i miss cal.  a lot.  bron.. egag?  i miss ltk.  i generally don't like "the cobras" .. it's just not good.  other drama doesn't help much either .. ='(