Currently Listening Call on Me By Eric Prydz see related

THE LAST GERMAN POST--- TSCHÜß, BIS AMERIKA, KYLE

The days of Kyle's year of partying, drinking, shopping everyday, eating everything in sight, being treated like a baby but still having freedom, growing to learn about himself and other people, meeting some the the coolest people that he has met in his life, saying so many hurtful goodbyes, traveling around Germany and Europe, speaking German, learning so much more about the German culture and why the people are the way they are, realizing everything that he loves and hates about America, also realizing that not everybody wants to come to America, crying at times that he was depressed about going home and then crying later during the times that he didn't want to go home, and having that sense of having the control of anything and everything that he wants to do, will come to an end on Thursday, June 23, 2005.  That date has been in my mind for the last three weeks and everyday as it comes closer and closer, I get more and more nervous, excited, depressed, and this feeling that is undescribable.

I cannot wait to get back to real life where you don't have to be a puppet, smiling and saying yes all day long.  I want to be able to say no or be grouchi without feeling guilty or uncomfortable.  I have enjoyed this year so much....  there is really nothing I could ever think of that will ever get to this level again in my life and I can accept that.  That doesn't mean that I'm not going to give up on having a good time because I know that nothing will ever get close to my exchange year, but that's just it.  Nothing will ever come close to this, bestimmt.

The tears will be shed so much in these next couple of days and the re-entry back into America is going to be a bitch, but that is just how it has to be.  Everything like that is just making me so much more mature, stronger and flexible, and I love that.  I can't believe that this one short year could have ever done 1/2 of the things that it has done to me.  I know exactly what I want from life and I am not afraid to do what has to be done to achieve that.  I love that feeling more than anything else I can think of. (Kyle rolling around in a room full of bright color polos from Tommy, Polo and Lacoste, while drinking a chai tea latte, and watching Paris Hilton checking herself out in the mirror, all while I am thinking about the greatest year of my life and listening to the EuroTour soundtrack-- that is the closest feeling I can describe in words, but still that is nothing compared to the previous feeling.)  I have fallen asleep every night for the past month thinking one of two things: how depressed I am, wanting to cry because I feel like I am losing a part of me when I fly back to America, like nothing will ever be the same, the friends will forget you, the host parents will get too busy to keep in touch, the discos and cafes will change names and owners, and basically that my whole life will be shit for months... On the more pleasant nights, I think of how fucking proud I am of myself for not only just surviving one year in a foreign land, but making the best time of my life in one of the hardest, but also most rewarding, years of my life, accepting that it will never be the same, but at the same time loving how great I did and being happy that I even had the chance to make memories in Germany as an exchange student this year.  That is one of those feelings that cannot be described by words.

The next time that I enter a post into my Xanga, I won't be able to say that I am an exchange student.  I will have to say that I was an exchange student.  I won't be able to speak German with everyone I meet.  I can't eat Brötchen on Saturday afternoons, after sleeping in because I got back at 4 from Toxic the night before.  I won't be able to skip all of my wonderful classes at the Gauß Schule and then wander into the city alone.  I really won't get to eat cake and drink tea everyday at 4 in the afternoon with my host parents.  But none of that matters to me, because I've all ready lived it.  I've done it; it is over.  I am so excited that I had the chance to make them.  They are my memories of Deutschland and they will never be forgotten.

I made it.  I accomplished it.  I loved it and hated it.  I would do it all over in a heartbeat, without question.  I was an Outbound, an Inbound and I'll be a Rebound forever.  I was a Rotary Exchange Student and will be one for the rest of my life.

Currently Reading Service Clubs in American Society: Rotary, Kiwanis, and Lions By Jeffrey A. Charles see related

The first night of EuroTour in Hannover.

Nose blowing while you are happy makes you even happier.

Me, Anne and her host sister at the Hannover Firework World Competition.

Also at the Firework Competition.  We removed our winter clothes so it looked warm.

Me and Annie at Klein Venedig in Wolfenbüttel.

It's not sweat, it's spilt beer.

A great, fresh, dry start to a long, cold, wet day.

Currently Reading The Likeability Factor : How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life's Dreams By TIM SANDERS see related

WIE BITTE?

I had a dream about two weeks ago: I flew home early and surprised my family.  But when I got there I just got hugs and nothing else.  Everybody was too busy for me and didn't ask to see pictures or hear stories or anything.  But that didn't bother me at all.  What did bother me really bad, was when 4 o'clock came around and we didn't have cake and tea time, I flipped out.  I wanted the freaking german cake and black tea.  That pissed me off so much that we didn't have it.  I didn't care one bit that my family wasn't that excited to see me, but that tea and cake really got to me.

Currently Playing Es Ist Juli By Juli Geile Zeit see related

NUR NOCH DREI WOCHENENDEN

Lately, I have had no lust to go to school, so I pretend to walk to the bus stop, then I just go to my third host family’s house and sleep, use the Internet, and organize all my crap.  And today is one of those days. 

Rotary Distrikt Konferenz: So much more fun than I thought it was going to be.  Who thought that hanging out with 1,000 Rotarians would be fun?  Well, they rented the exchange students a bar/lounge and all the beer was free.  We partied all of Satuday night until the sun was coming up, then went to sleep for 2 hours.  I was woken up by Fernanda saying that we had 2 minutes before we had to leave for the District Conference.  Luckily I fell asleep in my clothes and contacts, so all I did was get my hair wet and brush my teeth and then we were on our way.  Emily stayed in the dungeon all day trying to recoup from the night before.  But the other 47 exchange students and I got to sing a really corny, but sentimental song to Rotary. “Und Rotary, die Garantie, dass das Jahr das beste ist, das ein jeder dann vermisst!!”  It was great.  And it felt like such a good ending of the year.  I felt like I could go home back to America right after that without any problems, even though I know it will never be that easy, lol…

The Party Weekends: Christian’s birthday party a week after EuroTour was so great.  It was cool seeing the people who made the EuroTour the best three weeks of my year in Germany.  And to think that I didn’t go, cause it was a really good night in Toxic. The next weekend was the first time I have ever seen Toxic with 50 people in it.  It was so sad and disappointing.  The theme was Casino Night; I played Roulette and lost.  But seriously, I don’t know what the Braunschweigers were thinking.  Where were they? Don’t ask me… Probably they stayed home and were boring.  May 29^th and 30^th was a favorite weekend.  Me and two exchange students went to Toxic for “Verflixte Sieben”. Buy a drink card for 7 Euros, and drink 14 Euros for free.  Met Viktor and then drank in the parking lot.  But the only down part of that night was that I accidently peed on my pants.  “Don’t look!  It’s small!” (In russian/german accent) Then Tanz in den Mai was crazy.  The host parents forbode us to go, but you know that just makes you want it so much more.  Nothing dangerous happened, but this old guy did steal our Vodka bottle then told us to scram, but then one of our German friends got it back for us.  I rode my bike home drunk both those nights and on Sunday I had to take a break from the bike, because I fell so many times coming home I hurt my knees, stained my really good pants and just really tired my body out, lol…  Rotex Wochenende in Hannover was fun, even though I was there for one night.  The best memory: Not paying attention to the awards being handed out, and right as I am mixing a drink, everybody laughing, cause I had just won THE DRUNK award for EuroTour.  That cracked me up so much.  Toxic Single Night could have turned out good if I hadn’t had to take care of 2 pukers the whole night.  I swear, we were only there for 1 hour before the kotzen started, then we left for home.  It was fun crashing at Malte’s house though.  Even if Anne did puke in his mom’s flower garden.  Call on Me Night at Toxic the next night was even worse than Casino Night.  There were more people there, but the music was crap and they didn’t play Call on Me once, which was the whole point of me going to Toxic that night.  It was pretty lame. The going away party for the exchange students we didn’t know was pretty funny, especially when Fernanda made out with Mr. Rostafarian (for obvious reasons) and when Shelley yelled at a German guy cause he called her “Nicht geil”.  The weekend that Emily lost her virginity to Braunschweig and Toxic, we had such a good time together.  We stayed at Toxic Ladies Night until 4, then we all came home to my 3^rd host parents home to sleep, cause they are still in America and they gave me the keys, lol.  We all got up, gave the tour of the City of Construction (Braunschweig) then lied in the park eating lunch and talking.  I love the weekends of Germany.  There is always something to do and someplace to go.  I only have three more weekends left and that is gonna be one of the biggest things that I miss.

Currently Playing Dangerously in Love By Beyoncé Crazy in Love see related

MEINE GROßELTERN

Before I update about everything that has been happening, I have been meaning to post this email that my grandparents sent to me right after EuroTour.  It felt so cool to read.  I love my grandparents!! There is no way that you couldn't like them: