CampCheryl's Xanga

This freaking real world.

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 22:52:41 GMT

Alright. Listen. I don't normally post because frankly, my life isn't all that interesting. But, I figure that I need some form of documentation in the future to see how far I will have come in a year or so.

That said, here is a list of things that I never really dealt with until I hit this real world. Now that I'm dealing with them, they're just plain having a fabulous time mocking me.

1. Cooking chicken. I guess I really can't rule out my chances of bird flu.

2. Toilet bowl cleaner. They're not kidding when they say "Avoid squeezing the bottle while opening." My mirror and the open wound on my knee will vouch for that.

3. Internet. Some days I have it, some days I don't. Some days the cords work, some days they don't.

4. Air conditioning. Explain to me how I turned my heat on.

5. The United States Post Office. Please deliver my mail, including my drivers license because this temporary Colorado one expires on Friday.

6. Fruit. I sat for a good half hour at work deciding whether or not the brown banana would be mushy inside. I think I fascinate the people there.

7. Washer/Dryers. Tonight marks the second night that the lid of the washer has closed on my head.

Seriously.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 18:04:26 GMT

Things I've Learned In Denver:

- My new address. This, however, came after I gave the wrong address to the entire state of Colorado including: the state department of education, the drivers license bureau, my new bank, the school I will be working at, etc.

- Having Ohio license plates allowed for not knowing where things were and for being a bad driver. My new Colorado plates, however, do not.

- The "Mile High City" literally means we are 5000-some feet closer to the sun.

- That being said, not wearing sunscreen at a Rockies game is unacceptable and leads to some killer sunburns and one very red nose.

- 95% of the time I have no idea where I am, and Mapquest is a bitch for not understanding that.

- Julie's idea of going into Starbucks and holding up a sign offering to pay for someones coffee if they will just be my friend might actually improve my social status.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 21:50:55 GMT

Tonight I decided to pick up a shift of hostessing at the Old Bag of Nails. I haven't worked since December.

That said, I answered the phone:

"Good evening, Old Bag of Cheryls, this is Nail, how may I help you?"

For the camp folk...

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 18:46:02 GMT

Look at how little we knew about our friend Chris Eppley.

ChrisEpley: you forgot about my history?? i'll fill you in
ChrisEpley: first i was a pro nfl quarterback
ChrisEpley: but
ChrisEpley: i couldn't continue due to my war injuries
ChrisEpley: i earned 15 purple hearts
ChrisEpley: then i was a superhero
ChrisEpley: and i was cooler than spiderman
ChrisEpley: then i got a job as a music teacher
ChrisEpley: that about sums it up

A pro NFL quarterback? And such a scrawny little man he is.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 20:19:53 GMT

If you know me well at all, you know I am a worrier. And at the stage of life that I am in right now, you would think I'd have a lot of things that I'd be worrying about, such as graduating two months from today, moving across the country in two and a half, student teaching, becoming a licensed teacher, being alone in the dorms while the rest of campus is on spring break, bird flu...you get the picture.

But I'm not.

The thought that is consuming my mind the most these past few days is "how in the world am I going to be able to look the men who are fixing my car in the eye ever again?"

In my rush to drop my car off yesterday morning and get my rental, I left something very, very embarrassing in my car's CD player.

My "guilty pleasures mix."

This consists of Tina Turner singing "I Ain't Missing You At All," followed by a haunting rendition of Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time," and then Eminem's "Lose Yourself."

And if that's not bad enough..."Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" is on there too.

I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 23:08:17 GMT

While tutoring the first grade student I work with:

Me: "Okay, lets think up words that rhyme with -all. I have a BALL. I will give you a CALL. You are TALL. Don't hit the WALL. Your turn."

Student: "You have a...PURSE."

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 22:08:55 GMT

I have learned all sorts of things in the first grade.

Not in the sense of my kids or anything (though they are way fun), but more about life itself.

For instance, I have led my life of 22 years not having an inkling of the understanding of Groundhog's Day. I just could not figure it out. He comes up, he sees his shadow, yet somehow the weather still did whatever the hell it wanted to. I didn't know whether or not it meant that we got six more weeks of winter, or six more weeks until spring, it seemed the same either way.

Until today. You see, tomorrow marks a pivotal day in my teaching career - my first day of teaching about a holiday. Chance would have it that it would be the one holiday that I don't know squat about.

So I admitted (sadly) to my cooperating teacher that I just don't understand Groundhog's Day. After receiving a slightly odd look, I had the concept explained to me, and now I'm actually quite excited to see what that little son of a gun does tomorrow morning.

Next, I'm excited to learn about why the bald eagle is an American Symbol.

This teaching thing is great.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 11:42:55 GMT

Jo Kleinline, you are my favorite person on earth. This is hysterical.

This is an email I received from Jo with the subject line:
"If this doesn't make Xanga, I don't know what will."

Jo's thoughts on the song "Photograph," by Nickelback.

My thoughts on this song are in CAPS:

Look at this photograph

Everytime I do it makes me laugh

How did our eyes get so red - WHY ARE THEIR EYES RED?

And what the hell is on Joey's head - WHAT DOES JOEY'S HEAD HAVE TO DO WITH RED EYES? AND BETTER YET, WHO IS JOEY?

And this is where I grew up - ARE THEY AT A LAKE HOUSE OR IN THE SLUMS?

I think the present owner fixed it up - I VOTE SLUMS

I never knew we'd ever went without - SLUMS. DEFINITELY.

The second floor is hard for sneaking out - COULD HE FIND NOTHING ELSE TO RHYME WITH "WITHOUT"?

And this is where I went to school - IS THIS ALL IN THE PICTURE? WAS IT A PANORAMIC?

Most of the time had better things to do - LIKE WRITE BAD SONGS?

Criminal record says I broke in twice - BROKE IN WHERE?

I must have done it half a dozen times - OK, THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME.

I wonder if It's too late - HE'S LIKE 35

Should i go back and try to graduate - IF HE CAN'T RHYME, I DON'TTHINK A GED IS A GOOD GOAL

Life's better now then it was back then - OH RIGHT. NOW HE'S A FAMOUS SINGER

WHO WRITES TERRIBLE SONGS AND SINGS THEM WITH A HORRIBLE EMPATHETIC TONE IN

HIS VOICE.

If I was them I wouldn't let me in - IF THEY COME TO DENVER TO TOUR I'M GOING UP TO THE MOUNTAINS

Oh oh oh

Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door - THEY HAD A DOOR ON HIS HOUSE? I

THOUGHT HE LIVED IN THE GHETTO?

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor - HE OBVIOUSLY HAD

TROUBLE OF THINKING OF A BETTER LINE THAT WOULD HAVE PHOTO IN IT AND ALSO

RHYME WITH DOOR.

It's hard to say it, time to say it - THIS IS WHERE HE GETS ALL SENTIMENTAL

Goodbye, goodbye - HASN'T HE LEFT ALREADY?

Every memory of walking out the front door - WHO REALLY CARES AT THIS POINT?

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for - I THOUGHT HE WAS

JUST THINKING ABOUT WALKING OUT THE FRONT DOOR?

It's hard to say it, time to say it - MORE EMPATHY

Goodbye, goodbye - GOODBYE TO WHO?

Remember the old arcade - OH THAT'S WHERE HE WAS INSTEAD OFSCHOOL

Blew every dollar that we ever made - HE HAD A JOB?

The cops hated us hangin' out - I WOULD HATE HIM HANGING AROUNDTOO

They say somebody went and burned it down - MAYBE IT WAS HIM?  HE SEEMS A LITTLE SKETCHY

We used to listen to the radio - DID THEY PLAY THE PHOTOGRAPH SONG EVERY 10 MINUTES BACK THEN TOO?

And sing along with every song we know - I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW THE WORDS TO

THIS SONG BECAUSE SOMEHOW I DO FIND MYSELF SINGING ALONG.

We said someday we'd find out how it feels - NOTE: THE NEXT LINE SHOULD BE PLURAL

To sing to more than just the steering wheel - I VOTE THEY NEED TO SPEND

SOME MORE QUALITY TIME IN THE CAR

Kim's the first girl I kissed - WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SINGING TO

THE STEERING WHEEL?  IS HE EVEN STILL LOOKING AT PICTURES?

I was so nervous that I nearly missed - PLEASE.

She's had a couple of kids since then - HOPEFULLY NOT WITH HIM.

I haven't seen her since god knows when - SHE'S PROBABLY AVOIDINGHIM.

I miss that town - WHERE DID YOU GO EXACTLY?

I miss the faces - AGAIN, THE NEXT LINE SHOULD BE PLURAL AND RHYME WITH "FACES"

You can't erase - ERASE WHAT AGAIN?

You can't replace it - I'VE GOT NOTHING FOR THIS ONE...

I miss it now - SO GO BACK AND STAY THERE.

I can't believe it - I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SONG IS SO BAD EITHER.

So hard to stay - SO LEAVE

Too hard to leave it - SO STAY.

If I could I relive those days - ISN'T THAT WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 2 MINUTES?

I know the one thing that would never change - OH WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT?

Every memory of looking out the back door - AGAIN, WHAT WAS OUT BACK?

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor - REPEATING YOURSELF AGAIN....

It's hard to say it, time to say it - GET ON WITH IT.

Goodbye, goodbye - IS IT OVER YET?

Look at this photograph - PLEASE, MAKE IT BE OVER

Everytime I do it makes me laugh - I THOUGHT YOU WERE SAD THOUGH

Everytime I do it makes me - LAUGH? CRY?   I KNOW THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO

CALL THE RADIO STATION TO REQUEST THAT THEY NEVER EVER PLAY THIS

SONG AGAIN.  IT'S JUST THAT BAD.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 15:28:11 GMT

What a fun break. I don't think I am ready to be back in the groove, based on what lies ahead this week. I've decided to go with Sally on the list update form of a post:

1. I am ready to graduate. I know that it is only November, but I need change in my life to keep it interesting. It's been such a routine the past few years...OWU, camp, OWU, camp, you know. Basically, a change is necessary.

2. When I do this graduation thing, I am going to for sure move to Denver. I love Cleveland (sorry, Jo, I know the snakes and my potential Mafia connection scared you off...at least Legacy Village was sort of cool?), but I need to live somewhere other than Ohio. It bores me to death.

3. I am also ready to student teach. I will be in a first and third grade classroom (not simultaneously), and I have already met some of my first graders and they are hysterical. It will be nice to do something that I actually love, I think it will brighten me up quite a bit.

4. I loved seeing everyone this weekend from various Kappa years past. You people keep me going, and I've found that you can go 2 years without seeing some people and still have some of the funniest conversations and the best connections. Kitty can tell a story like none other.

5. I am debating on taking on a third job down here...tutoring. This, however, I think I would enjoy much more than my ridiculous RA job and waitressing, which I hate. Plus, it is relevant to my chosen career path. Unless I go to grad school for something cool like CIA training.

6. Also, I've been listening to Christmas music since a week before Thanksgiving break. I am now sort of sick of it. I should've seen that one coming.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 18:23:13 GMT

Okay, so I haven't really posted much because honestly nothing too interesting has gone on this...year. BUT. I have the oddest story ever.

So, for my birthday this past weekend, one of my residents who turned 18 on the same day I turned 22 (don't get me started on that one) gave me this purple balloon. Now, it looked like a normal balloon, but...

I think it is haunted.

Most helium balloons last, what, a day? Two, perhaps? This balloon has lasted from last Friday night until this Thursday and it is still just hanging out on my ceiling, showing no signs of its end. Now, for the majority of the time, it stayed in one little corner. However, it has now started to follow me around. I'm not even kidding.

This balloon has me scared shitless. I'd pop it, but it is like a phenomenon.

A big, haunted, phenomenal balloon.