Currently Reading The Pilgrim's Progress (Oxford World's Classics) By John Bunyan see related

New Babies

My sister is pregnant, Dave’s sister is pregnant, and my brother’s wife just had a baby, so I have been thinking about babies!!  I thought I’d outline my ideas for how to survive infanthood because, as all you moms know, having a baby is the most thrilling, exhausting, delightful, depressing, wonderful, crushing responsibility.  This is my advice to make the first months/year easier:

1. Using all your nesting energy to get organized before the baby arrives is really helpful, but then, once the baby comes, let as much go as possible.  You don’t need to clean your bathroom every week or have five-course meals for dinner.  Tacos, spaghetti, eggs, and pancakes make fine dinners.  And everyone can wear dirty socks (or pants or shirts) without too much emotional scarring.
2. Don’t go on more than one outing per day (and don’t go out more than a couple times a week in the first month or so).  I am a doer.  I like to go to museums and to go wading in the creek and to feel accomplished at the end of the day.  But I think outings are one of the most stressful ordeals of motherhood when you have more than one child.  Once I had my third, my husband took over the grocery shopping, and I’ve only just picked up that responsibility again.  It meant that I had to be willing to live with 200 folding sandwich bags for a while because he didn’t know I prefer zippered bags (now he knows!!), but those little transitioning mixups are worth the luxury of not having to stress about getting kids in the car at the right time and hoping no one melts down.  Of course, staying home made me a little crazy, too, so I tried to go for walks or hang out in the yard where neighbors might stop by for a moment, but disasters were easier to negotiate.
3. Avoid making all but the crucial decisions.  I pushed all non-important decisions off to my husband (poor Dave!).  So, when charities or magazine subscription companies called asking for money or friends wanted to know when we could get together, I tell them they’d have to talk to my husband.  Some of the callers acted appalled that I wouldn’t make a $25 decision on the phone, but I just didn’t want to have to deal with the annoyance of making a decision.  Maybe some of you can easily say “no” (you probably don’t get all these charities calling you!) so this isn’t such a big deal for you.  But I decided all the millions of decisions that were suddenly added to my life, like whether to feed the baby first or change my toddler’s diaper, were enough for me.
4. Have something you look forward to each day.  Of course, most SAHMs look forward to their husbands walking in the door, but it’s nice to have little things to anticipate during the day, too.  With my first, I read through all the Agatha Christie’s I could find when I nursed.  When my second was born, I loved the crafts my two-year-old and I did almost every day during his morning nap (isn’t that crazy?) and the snuggling down to read and nap when he slept in the afternoon.  When my fourth was born, with no nappers left, I relaxed my no-videos/TV during the week, and let my older kids watch Toy Story 2 every afternoon while I nursed and dozed with the baby next to them.
5. Go to bed early.  Our kids go to bed around 7:30 or 8:00, and when my kids were first born, I would go to bed around 9:00.  Even if the baby sleeps well, when your body is healing, you need rest.
6. Don’t try to get your baby on a schedule.  At least not at first.  I liked having a routine and definitely worked my babies gradually into one, but… For one thing, a lot of those schedules don’t work for everyone or hinder your milk supply.  But, even if it does work, the stress of trying to make your baby into this little model baby can sap the joy of just being a mother.  The real job is to enjoy this new sweet life.
   

I enjoyed my fourth baby sooo much, and that’s really the whole idea of taking it easy with babies.  I wanted to cherish all those little snuggles and the eager, attentiveness of my older children to all his accomplishments and just soak in the treasure of watching my little family grow.  Nothing else is nearly so important.

What are your tips for surviving?