Name:Robert Country:United States State:California Metro:San Bernardino Gender:Male
Interests:Jesus Christ, theology, the Bible, apologetics, my family, motorcycles, Anaheim Ducks,running, politics, history, music including Old Crow Medicine Show, Nickel Creek, Beatles, '80's Alternative and Christian Rock. Expertise:I have certain strengths, but I don't know that I'd claim expertise in anything. Occupation:Coach Operator Industry:Transportation
I have been so busy with work, and with the new schedule. I've taken on the "Night Owl" runs for the next two weeks, and frankly it is either more exhausting than I remember or I'm just getting older. It is a lot different than a regular route, because it is overnight, and the bulk of the riders are homeless people just looking for a place to sleep. There is also a number of drunks and people on what I could not tell you. I'm not a big fan of drunks at all, but I'd much rather they were on my bus than driving around getting other people killed which seems to be the most usual scenario. I last drove the night owl two years ago when I first started with transit, and I have to say that the numbers of homeless riding the owls has gone up considerably. I don't know of there is a connection with the economy (it's hard to imagine there wouldn't be) but to see a full bus on a night owl is an odd sight indeed!
Well, I wish to leave you with one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies. God bless you all, and I'll be back fairly regular here pretty soon. And as an aside, if any of you live in Middle Tennessee, give me a heads up as it seems the Lord is pointing us in that direction. It would be odd if we move to Murfreesboro as that is where my GGGrandpa was wounded the second time, but then again, that might be kind of cool. Thanks!
I was raised with a knowledge of Christ, more or less. My Mom was Catholic and my Dad was Southern Baptist, and (so I like to joke) I was confused. Truth was I was very much interested in God, in Jesus, and in learning as much as I could. The differences in the two were great enough to get me kicked out of CCD on a regular basis, great enough that I never quite felt at home in either environment. I wouldn’t wish that on any kid, as I see first hand the importance of being united with your spouse in faith, of being equally yoked. The positive aspect of all of it was that it made me far more inquisitive about God than I may have been otherwise. It also made me, for better or worst, very suspect of the things I was told. I received a fairly good foundation of knowledge. I was familiar enough with the events, with the beliefs of Christianity and even with the end times scenarios presented in books such as the Late Great Planet Earth. All the same, I was a kid, and any kid that goes through divorce is going to find himself shaken a bit.
My parents separated when I was eleven, and although at first I’d see my Dad occasionally, it wasn’t long before he disappeared. I didn’t see him for about three years. My Mom was present, but in her own pain she wasn’t exactly there. We also moved from Pedley to Ontario, which I don’t expect to hold meaning for many, but Pedley was very rural, while Ontario was suburban. It confronted me with a whole environment that was largely alien to me. Before my parents separated, my Dad truly was my best friend. He and I spent a lot of time together, he was my hero, and he was gone.
Between the two, I didn’t see where their faith had done much good. I was angry at God, and I was torn. Neither word seems to do justice with where I was at, but suffice it to say that it was easily the hardest time in my life. I felt everything was a lie. I felt powerless. Overnight, everything I had ever known changed. In looking back, it still amazes me at how radically my life was altered.
I spent a lot of time away from my family, just taking off on my bike with my friends, or going to the cemetery near our house. My older brother tried to kill me when I was twelve. At the time I didn’t really care. Those years seemed like a long nightmare, and it took a long time to start to pull out of them. During this time I developed an interest in the occult, and I would often use a Ouija board with my friend. Being out like that, and spending so much time away, I saw many things I really shouldn’t have. It was all very surreal. I remained active in CCD and later Confirmation at our local Catholic church, and I even went to a few Baptist services, but to be honest Christ was not exactly what I was interested in much as I needed Him. What I saw in the Catholic church at the time did little to point me in the right direction. Same for the Baptists at the time, but to be honest, I wasn’t exactly open. Now I know that our salvation, our acceptance of the Gospel is dependent on the Holy Spirit. It simply wasn’t time; I simply wasn’t open to God.
My Dad came back for a year, and then he left again, but not like before. I saw him pretty regularly after that, but whatever faith he had before was pretty much gone. He also had developed some pretty strange ideas about God, but that was not his focus. He was by then very fond of alcohol and women. His view of God became a Calvinistic train wreak, completely fatalistic in his view, and we were nothing, for all was already decided by God, and as God has already decided, nothing matters. I know that this is not the view of Calvinists, rather it is a Calvinistic view fatally twisted.
Many things happened along the road after that, and I’ve no desire to recount them all. I experimented a little with drugs, but I didn’t like the loss of control. I was kicked out of high school then went back to finish early. In time I became deeply involved in the occult and early gothic music such as Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Tones on Tail, and the like. In the occult I thought I had found something tangible. In the music I had found a release, kindred spirits as it were. I spent a lot of time in Hollywood, and a lot of time chasing after women, well, teenage girls actually. I thought I was having fun, but no matter how much I went out, no matter how much I dated or how many women I had, I still felt empty. I had many “friends”, many “girlfriends”, and many events I went to. I met a lot of people, and within that lifestyle, I could pretty much do anything I wanted. I’m not trying to boast at all, because the fact is it was all meaningless. Nothing was filling the void in my life, and meanwhile, I was hurting people who held expectations over me.
Three things happened when I was nineteen which set the stage for what was to follow.
The first was my “stoner” cousin had accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. My cousin really didn’t say much to me, but he didn’t have to. The difference was obvious.
The second was rather mundane, but it struck me to my core. Like many today, I viewed life as shades of gray, and void of absolutes. Morality was fairly abstract, as my beliefs were heavily influenced by the occult and New Age thought. I was sitting in my room writing while listening to “Ocean Rain” by Echo and the Bunnymen. The song “Yo-Yo Man” contains the lyric “...You know when heaven and hell collide, There are no in-betweens.” It jumped out and floored me, and I just pondered it over and over, but where is heaven, and where do I go? Which of the worlds religions is right?
The third was pretty amazing for me. Again, I was in my room, thinking about everything in my life, and the things that had happened. After my cousin, you’d think that Christianity would have been the automatic answer to the questions above, but I really was put off by the idea of it, and I didn’t believe it was possible that I could be a Christian. In the question of who was right, I saw it as being between Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha. And as I thought about it, questions came into my head. “Who alone rose from the dead?” “Who alone is the SON of God?” “Who alone promises eternal life by faith?” and then “Follow me!”
I went to my knees, and I told Jesus that I had no idea where He would be found, so He would have to come and get me, but I knew then and there!
About a month passed, and nothing. I could not understand what was going on, but nothing was happening. No one was coming, and I encountered no Christians during that time. Then some of my friends told me about this guy who was doing a Bible study. They wanted me to go talk with him and shred him after the study. The guy was Michael Guido, and I went to the study. Afterward, I went with my friends over to his house where he gave us several Stryper items (he played a big role with Stryper, but that is neither here nor there, as it didn’t impress me, I wasn't exactly metal), and he and I talked until 4 am. I was there, he answered my questions, he was real, he didn’t judge me or ridicule me, but rather told me I was close, but not where I needed to be. It was time to go, and nothing. No invitation to prayer or acceptance (I fully believe this was God’s plan). I was not leaving without Christ. I told him that very thing, and on June 18th, 1985, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I passed from death to life, and even today, I am overcome by it! Thank you so much Jesus!!! I love you Lord!
BREATHE
This is the air I breathe This is the air I breathe Your holy presence Living in me
This is my daily bread This is my daily bread Your very word Spoken to me
And I, I'm desperate for you And I, I'm lost with out you
We are called to love one another. We are called to love as Jesus did, and He clearly demonstrated His love for us in the cross, but what exactly does that love mean? I fear that we have redefined love into something that it isn't, and something that is not what Jesus has for us. Love today for whatever reason means that we are not to risk offending or to point out certain things. We are to be "nice" and in so doing we are being loving. I don't see that that is Jesus' example for us, and interestingly enough most of those who say that Christians don't love like Jesus really know virtually nothing about Jesus and fail to understand that we CAN'T love like Jesus, but I digress. He said that faith in Him would turn people against one another, and that people would hate us as they hated Him. He also called us to follow Him. His example is clearly seen in the incident with the woman at the well. He didn't apologize to her, or make excuses for the Bible or its translation, nor did He back away on any level from the truth of this woman's position as a sinner and need for Him. In so many ways that is not what is promoted as love, or as what we are called to do. People believe we are to be tolerant and supportive (while falsely defining these terms), and never should we judge (the most twisted verse in Scripture).
Consider this through; if someone you love has a loaded gun to their head, is it ever loving to say "It's fine, you can pull the trigger if you want."? Not only is it not loving, but if we did that we would be culpable in that person's death just as sure as if we pulled the trigger. Yet is this not exactly what many people (both secular and within the church) want us to do? Is this not what people claim is loving, to tolerate that gun and their head, to support them in their decision? I'm sorry, there is nothing loving about that, nor is it on any level what Jesus calls us to do!
Because we love, we proclaim to all, and as we love, we do so imperfectly, but we love with the love of Christ who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! He alone is salvation, and if I said there was another way, I'd be telling you to pull the trigger. We are called to love, but love without truth is a lie.
I am truly blessed to be married to my best friend for fourteen years, and yes, my only marriage. I intend to keep it that way. It is a tremendous blessing, but also a ministry, and as such, it does require sacrifice and commitment.
I am father to five beautiful children. I don't need to tell any of you who are parents what a blessing parenthood is, but honestly, I am so grateful for each of them. Ethan, my oldest is twelve, and he is my athlete. Jordan is the next son, and he has a passion for science and for the Bible. Matthew is seven, and he is the bravest kid I have ever seen. He doesn't even cry when he gets shots! Elijah is my youngest son at four, and he is just a true snuggler who loves to be held but hates to be kissed. Hannah, our youngest, and our first daughter, is two, and she is such a princess! I can't even say how much I love them all. My oldest three have all made decisions for Christ. Parenthood is a tremendous blessing, but also a ministry. It absolutely requires sacrifice and commitment.
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I'm twelve units shy of my degree, and I desire so much to go on to Talbot and to eventually go into ministry. For some time this was a point of frustration for me, and I prayed so long and hard for the Lord to show me my ministry, what He wants me to do. It was during this time that I felt the Lord show me the ministries hat I am already in, that of father and husband, and that those were where I absolutely need(ed) to be. Initially, it was a bit frustrating for me, but then I thought about it. These things do remain my first ministries, regardless of what else He calls me to, and if this is all He has called me to, isn't it truly incredible on its own? Of course the desire is there to do great things, but then I forget sometimes what great things are. Did Hannah not do great things in prayer and in offering her son? In church history, the story of Augustine's mom, who prayed for her son and remained a Christian witness, eventually seeing him come to Christ, and in so doing, Augustine's impact on Christianity remains to this day. To raise righteous kids is a tremendous ministry and blessing!!! It is so much more than we, or at least I in the past, had ever considered. The roles of spouse and parent remain the first ministry for so many of us, yet it is often overlooked or neglected. I am called to be head of this household, it is my ministry, and for now part of that ministry is driving a bus in Orange County, and living somewhere I'd rather not be. I strive to be content in that which God has called me to, and when I get frustrated, I remind myself that no matter what, what I really want is to be where He wants me to be, and in these ministries, I am MORE than BLESSED!!!
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Thank you Jesus for all you have given all of us, and help us to remember that anywhere is fine so long as it is with you!
A BIG thank you to everyone who has come by and who has posted comments, recommended, and added me. I am really enjoying your comments and your blogs! Thank you!!!
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