Dear Friends,

Today is the last day of my summer, and tomorrow, I head back to college for the new semester . . . I look forward to seeing all of you who I shall see soon, and I will miss all of you who I'll be leaving behind. I would greatly appreciate your prayers, and rest assured; you have mine.

I know this blog has been entirely pathetic this summer, sort of like the Primordial Earth in prehistoric days, with long ages of mindless nothingness punctuated by occasional dissapointing evolutions. Hopefully, man will learn to walk upright at some time in the course of this blog's evolution, or the species may just become extinct one of these days. But for now, for all of you kind people who have dutifully spent your summers clicking the "refresh" button as you sit glued to your computer screen, waiting for me to post something, I shall now make a VERY LONG post, and hopefully, it will be so long, it will take you all the rest of this year to read it.

So, here's a short story I've written. I think it's the first short story I've ever composed (except for a few rediculous parodies I once wrote :-p) So I have no clue what to make of it. Short stories were never my thing, so be kind, I  haven't bothered to rewrite or edit it much; it's pretty much still in primitive form. So, either enjoy it or despise, or remain indifferent it as you will, I simply don't care. :-p

I love all you people; and all those of you who are my friends, I appreciate you so much. I leave you with the words from Les Miserables, which have always meant so much to me:

One day more,

Another day, another destiny,

This never ending road to Calvary;

These men who seem to know my crime

Will surely come a second time,

One day more...

Tomorrow we'll be far away,

Tomorrow is the judgement day

Tomorrow we'll discover

What our God in Heaven has in store!

One more dawn

One more day

One day more!

Your friend in Christ,

Jordan J. Estrada

************

Copyright (c) 2004 Jordan J. Estrada

Somewhere along the path of life there was a portion of the road walled on one side by a great and tall and thick stone wall. It towered far above every head, and no hollowness could be sounded anywhere along its span. There was no stair or ladder to climb it, and because it stretched across a gap between two treacherous and unassailable mountains, there was no way to go around it, for the way was blocked by thorns and crags and dangers of all kinds.

Now in the path one afternoon, there were two men. One stood straight and proud, watching the younger, who was kneeling in the dust. He was tightly fastening the laces of his boots, and listening to the other man’s talk, but only with one ear.

“But brother,” the one standing was saying. “It is impossible! Human flesh is no match for stone that has withstood the ages of wind and water!”

“Yes, yes,” the young man said, eagerly and impatiently. “But a man once told me that even the weakest force can destroy the greatest obstacle, if only it is steadily applied.”

“Bah! Whatever effort you think you can make is so paltry, so weak; why it might take years, and still nothing. Why even bother?”

“Because I believe that it is better to go beyond the wall then to be trapped inside, and worth it to see the world with no wall to stand in the way.”

“Oh, but you will have to give up in the end,” the onlooker scoffed. “Even with the proper tools, it would take any man decades to make a breach!”

 “Then I will commit my entire life to this task.”

A grunt of shock and disbelief. “You plan to stay here, and beat on this wall, forever?”

The man kneeling looked up, and his fierce eyes met and locked with the eyes of the scoffer. “Every day, from sunset to sunrise, I will come here to batter on this wall. I will kick at it until I cannot kick; and then I will strike it with my hands until they are too bruised; and then I shall have to run and ram my body against it with all the force I can muster. I will spend myself on these stones; and one day, they shall fall.”

They stared at each other for a long second, while each read the other’s eyes.

“Fool, boy. A great fool you are.” And the elder man turned with a scuffle of gravel and continued on the highway.

As he walked away, the young man stood and called after him. “And if anyone should ask of me, tell them! Tell them that Trillion is beating on a solid wall.”

But the man did not turn at his call, and pretty soon, Trillion was alone.

 For a few moments, he stood there thinking, contemplating what his fellow had said, and what he was about to do. Finally, he sighed, and turning his back to the wall, took a few steps away from it before turning back to face it.

He looked up and down its vastness; from the thick roots of its dust covered foundations, to the high crest towering over his head, glittering in the sunlight.

“Here begins,” he muttered. And suddenly leaping forwards, Trillion jumped into the air and kicked hard against the wall. A loud smack of leather on rock resounded, and he bounced off, regaining his footing.

“One.”

Turning, he repeated the same exact motions once again, with the same result.

“Two.”

He turned and renewed his attack.

“Three.”

Beads of perspiration began to form on his forehead.

“Four . . . five . . .thirty . . . seventy. . .”

People walking by that evening did not bother the man. What business of theirs was it what a body chose to do for entertainment? Yet, perhaps the fact that he chose it so often changed that; for when, the next day, and the day after that, the man was still there, people began to wonder.

Three days later, “Ho there, sirrah, what are you doing?”

“I am beating down this wall!” came the breathless reply. The man who questioned laughed and passed him by.

Later that day a woman paused and watched him keenly. “They say you think you’re going to batter down this wall,” she queried. “But you don’t think that; you’re not doing that, right?”

“But I am,” Trillion replied between sallies. “And I swear, I will.” A triumphant look flashed across his face. “I’ve made two thousand, four hundred and two.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Trillion did not reply, charging the wall once more. “Two thousand four hundred and three!”

“You really are daft, aren’t you?” she asked after a pause.”

He shook his sweaty head. “Not at all. For I must go beyond the wall, but I have no tools, and no skills to make them. This is the only way.”

“But it’s. . .it’s simply idiotic. You’ll never be through, young man.”

“Oh yes I will . . . for even the weakest force can bring down the strongest obstacle, if steadily applied, with determination.”

“Oh, I don’t believe that. And what’s more, I don’t think you do, either! You can’t really be intending to do this.

Trillion grinned. “Watch me.”

“No thank you! Suit yourself.” She tossed her head and stalked off. Trillion turned back to the wall.

So it went on four days; and soon it had been two weeks since Trillion had begun his endeavor. Many people who passed on had incredulous comments for him when they found out what he doing, and cynical retorts if they already knew. Yet, like a dutiful worker, he showed up at that place every morning and hammered the gigantic dyke all day; only resting when he was too tired to stand.

It was during one of these rests that a few folk from the nearby village stopped by to talk to him. They tried to hide it, but it was obvious that they were some sort of committee, elected for the purpose of confronting him. As if to show that they meant no harm, and they really were his neighbors, they sat down in the dust next to him to talk.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” Trillion said, looking from one to the other. “What gives?”

“My name is Wright,” said the leader of the group, “And these are my neighbors, Bailey and Bland.”

Trillion nodded to them. “I’m Trillion.”

“Yes . . . we; we know that,” Wright said, as if addressing an embarrassing situation with great delicacy. “About that.”

“What about it?”

Wright turned uncomfortably to Bailey, who’s dark, menacing eyes had not ceased to glare at Trillion.

“Enough is enough!” Bailey gruffly snorted. “Work should not be wasted. You have no right to squander all your time here, and we’ve come to put a stop to it.”

Trillion stood. “Well, then; I’m sorry, gentlemen, but that’s not happening, by any means.”

The three stood as well.

“Aren’t you tired of this?” asked Bland.

“You will be tired,” Wright put in.

“Simple neighbors,” Trillion replied. You’ve only come to tell me what everyone else has told me? That it is impossible, and I should stop . . .  right?”

Heads nodded. “And that you must stop,” Bailey cut in.

“Why? What’s it to you? Did I ask for your permissions? Did I ask for your advice? Excuse me, sirs, but who are you to me?”

“Don’t you see!” argued Bland. “It’s the way the world works. If a man is honest and good and takes up reasonable works, and seeks peace with all men, and all nature, and all things, he is accepted and left alone. But when the fish decides to live on land, the school must bring him back. It’s really very simple. Everyone has to fit in somewhere. You have chosen to fit in nowhere. And that’s wrong; you don’t fit in!”

“I know that,” Trillion retorted. “And I am content with that. Maybe it is better not to fit.”

“But we all fit!”

“Then in all honesty, I must admit that I am glad I am not you.”

The three men shuffled and murmured a few angry words at this affront.

“And what’s more,” Trillion went on, “Look.” He pointed back to the wall, his fingers indicating a small depression where the rock was ever so slightly worn in. “There . . . you see? It can happen! It can!”

“That’s all?” Bailey exploded.

“And you expect us to be impressed with a little smoothed rock?” Wright chuckled.

Bland ran his hand over it. “Can’t feel a thing. I suspect all you’ve done is clean off a bit of dust and dirt.”

“Now there’s a task for a young man – and fit to his stature!” Wright smirked cruelly. “Don’t break it, clean it! I’m sure that that would be a Trillion-sized job, brothers.”

They laughed their agreement.

Trillion’s face flushed and he glared at them. “Go away and leave me. I am determined.”

“Come on, brothers, he’s quite pig headed about this all.” So with a few more sharp words, the three stalked off, and Trillion, mustering some bravado called after them. “Tell whoever sent you that Trillion will bring break a way through.”

Bailey turned sharply, viciously hurling a jagged pebble at Trillion. It whistled just by his ear. “Insolent boy! And mark me; that won’t be the last thing a clear-headed traveler doesn’t skip at your thick skull.”

So they wandered off. Trillion sighed, resting one hand against the wall, staring at the faint depression. He ran his hand slowly across it. Then he jerked back his arm and swung hard, hitting with the firm edge of his palm.

“Fifteen thousand and one.”

 In the time that followed, the words Bailey had spoken proved true. His were not the last insults; and the taunting only continued. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and Trillion learned to ignore them. He rarely spoke to travelers now, but slowly and steadily kept up his assault.

Two hundred thousand, at last.

“Hey, you, freak!”

Trillion turned at the voice, just in time to catch a sharp stone on his forehead, hurled by another onlooker. He saw a spatter of red and felt sharp pain drill into his head. His teeth ground hard.

“Yeah, you! You want some broken rock, eh? Well take this!” And the man flung a heavy handful of gravel and mud and broken glass scooped up from the wayside with a strong swing of his brawny arm.

Trillion jumped back, shielding his face with his arms, but the bitter salvo spattered all over him.

With a harsh laugh, his assailant took to his heels and raced away.

Trillion cupped his hand to his face, feeling the warm blood drip over his fingers. He reeled slightly, but he caught himself and turned back to his wall. His worn fingers scraped over the rock, and a small shiver splintered off, dropping to the ground, leaving a tiny dent in its place.

Trillion rammed his shoulder against it. “Two hundred thousand and one.” But the blow was not nearly as strong as the last one.  He rested for much longer that afternoon than before, and the next day, he did not return quite so early in the morning.

Someone heard from someone who had told someone else that it seemed like Trillion was flagging. It was not surprising to many.

Weeks passed on in a monotonous pattern. 

It was the early evening of one day when a bevy of young girls came by on their way.

“Look, there’s that silly man again,” giggled one of the younger.

“All men are silly, Jana,” the eldest of the group proclaimed.

“Still, he’s not bad looking,” a third in the group piped up. “Let’s go talk to him!”

“No way! He’s freaky!”

“Oh, why not?”

“Come on, are you scared? We can run if he’s nasty.”

So giggling amongst themselves, they nudged each other forwards until they were a few feet from him.

“Hey there . . .” they tittered in an uncertain chorus.

Trillion glanced up to look at them, tiredly. It had been a few days since anyone had stopped to talk to him. “Hello.” He slammed against the wall with a loud blow.

A little scream escaped from the girl who had ventured closest to him, and she bounced back. “Whoa, that startled me!”

“I’m sorry.” Another dull impact.

“So . . . are you some kind of fool or something?” 

“Yes, I probably am. I don’t care.”

“C’mon, girls, let’s go!” the eldest impatiently urged.

“You go away, you’re dull.” Snapped the younger girl, and turned back to Trillion. “Hey, don’t you ever do anything, like, go anywhere, or have any fun or something?”

“No.”

“What do you do all day, then?”

“Nothing but this.”

A sigh of disgust. “Do you want people to think you’re a loser?”

“He is a loser! Now can we please go?”

But just then, a young man sauntered up to them. “Hey, ladies,” he said coolly, scowling at Trillion.

The girls instantly changed their attitude when he appeared, and a shy round of “Hey, Chad,” greeted him, as they clustered around him with flirtatious looks.

Chad pretended not to notice. “Hey, you!” This was directed at Trillion. “You stay away from these girls, hear? No messing around with them!”

Trillion spun around, anger in his eyes at this provocation. But he bit back a response, and the anger faded, and he said calmly. “No fear; I mean no one any harm.”

“Well that’s good!” Chad retorted. He took a step toward him. “And you know what else? You have got to be the biggest sucker this side of the road!”

Trillion levelly caught his eye. “Think what you want. I don’t care.”

“You don’t care, eh?” Chad suddenly exploded. And up came his thickly muscled arm in a powerful punch.

“Oh my goodness!” screamed one of the girls as Trillion tumbled to the ground, felled by the unexpected blow.

Chad turned back to them, grinning from ear to ear. “Come on, babes; let’s get a move on things.” And putting his arms around two of their waists, he lead the girls quickly off, and they followed him willingly.

Groaning, Trillion rolled over in the dust and forced himself into a sitting position, leaning up against the wall. Blood dribbled out of the corner of his mouth, and from the side of his head where he had fallen onto the harsh gravel. The world was making strange rotations before his eyes.

“How many was it?” he mumbled to himself. “Three hundred thousand and . . . Three hundred thousand and . . . something. I think I’ll just sit here for a while . . .”

            Some time later, he heard footsteps. A young woman was coming down the road. She quickened her pace when she saw him and was there in a second.

            “Sir?”

            No response.

            “Sir, please get up! You don’t seem well . . . ”

            “Go away.”

            She tugged on his arm. “You’re hurt; you need help!”

            Trillion did not move. “Yes, I know that.” He looked up at her. “What are you after?”

            She seemed taken back by this. “I – ”

            “If I look hurt, its because everyone who’s come by this way lately seems to think it their business to punish me for going about my business! But I’m not punished, and I’m not hurt, and I need to be here!” His voice sounded desperate.

            The girl was silent for a second. Then, with a sympathetic sigh, she knelt down next to him, touching the side of his face. “You’re bleeding, let me help you.”

            “Why should you help me?” Trillion asked grudgingly; but he did not resist as she gently dabbed his wound with her handkerchief. “Why do you want to help me? Go ahead, make your speech, mock me.”

            “Why should I mock you? I don’t even know who you are, or what’s happened to you!”

            “You will mock me, then.”

            “I promise, I won’t,” she softly responded.

            Trillion glanced up, reading her eyes, and she did not look away. “I’ve been here for almost a year. People mock me for it, because they don’t approve of what it is I do.”

            “But what are you doing?”

            He spoke earnestly now. “There’s nothing along this road for me! My only hope in life is to go beyond this cruel wall. If I don’t, any future I might have had is lost. but the only way through this wall is to breach it,  and I have no tools, and no skill to make any. So I use myself, and batter on this wall endlessly, hoping against hope that in time, I’ll weaken it one pebble at a time, until it has to fall. . .”

            She tilted her head, starring at him for a second. “No . . . truly?”

            Trillion nodded, and suddenly, his face colored with shame. “It’s horribly absurd, isn’t it.”

            “No, no!” she quickly retorted. “It’s amazing! I’ve never heard anything so extraordinary!”

            She shot her a disbelieving glance. “Am I not a fool, though?”

She shrugged. “You don’t seem idiotic. You have something that most people don’t have. You haven an idea, a plan, and it is a worthwhile one.”

            “But it’s impossible!”

 “Did you think it was impossible when you started?”

“Well . . . no.”

“Why didn’t you think it was impossible then?”

Trillion thought for a moment. “Someone once told me that even the weakest force can lay low even the strongest obstacle, if it is only applied steadily, with determination. I guess I believed it then.”

“But you should believe it now!” Suddenly, the girl was very eager. “Not only is it not impossible, it has even been done before!”

She had finished cleaning the blood off his face, and she sat down next to him, with her back against the wall, hugging her knees, speaking in a thoughtful tone. “Have you ever seen ivy growing on a stone wall? It may take years, but eventually, even the ivy will break through. Year by year, as it grips the stones with its gentle fingers, eventually, the rock must yield. And have you ever seen water, dripping endlessly on stone? Water is soft, and slow to work, but in time, the water overcomes the rock.” A pause. “What’s your name, sir?”

He had been listening to her, very intently. “My name is Trillion.”

“Well, Trillion; you may not be the biggest and strongest thing I’ve ever seen, but – ” and here, she lightly punched his shoulder “ – you’re definitely stronger than water, or vines, and a great many other things. So this wall can’t resist your efforts forever. I know it can’t. You just have to keep at it, for as long as it takes.”

“I know . . . I have no other choice. I must, now.”

“And you will!”

“It just seems so difficult, and so long away, though. But that must not change my determination, must it?”

“No. And all the determination in the world doesn’t mean that you can’t use things to your advantage. You might try using a rock as a tool, you know.”

Trillion bit his lip and looked away. “I – I hadn’t thought of that. I’m sure it would have occurred to me, eventually.”

“I’m sure you would have thought of it,” she reassured. “Just remember. This wall is an enemy that can be fought in any way imaginable. And you will win out!”

Trillion turned back to her, gratefulness in his eyes. “What is your name?”

“I’m Crystal.”

“Crystal . . . I thank you. Your words are rare, and I needed them. But . . . why? Why even pity me, or bother to help me?”

A quiet smile crossed her face. “Not everything is so difficult to break through to. There are some barriers that will smash like glass. I can’t shut people out, Trillion. I have to break down walls, too. Same as you, it’s my hope, so I press on. But I have to be willing to shatter my own walls on other people’s behalf . . . and I try.”

“And you succeed . . . I can see it.”

“And I know you will, too.”

Trillion stood slowly. “Well, then . . . I guess there’s no time to waste.”

She stood as well, and squeezed his hand in parting. “Hope, Trillion. Nothing impossible has ever yet stood up against hope.”

“Fare well . . .and thank you! I will not forget your kindness.” And Trillion smiled, and it was a genuine smile, for the first time in a long time.

So she bade him farewell, and took up the path once again, and in a little while had disappeared along the way.

            Trillion stared at the great wall, and as he did, a kind of euphoric fierceness rose up in him. “We are enemies then, the two of us, aren’t we? How we must hate each other by now! But if your stones could hate, they can fear; and you will fear me before the end!”

            He paused in thought. “It was three hundred fifty thousand and four, was it not? Yes, that’s right.” And scooping up a nice round rock from the ground, he lunged at the wall, and slammed his new weapon into its side with all the strength of both his arms.

            “Three hundred fifty thousand and five!”

            Trillion could see a tiny hairline crack, snaking away from the place where his blow had landed. And had the wall shuddered?

            It would soon.