Hey, friends . . . :::smiles::: Well, it's been a long time. :-p For those of you who still check around often enough to read this, I thank you for your kindess. For those of you who stopped checking back, and thus can't possibly be reading this, remember that Job waited 20 years for Eliaphaz to post on his blog, and kept checking back every day out of those years, and God commended him for his patience. (This fact, though not recorded in the Bible can be found on google, just type in Job+Blogwriter, and as surely as the rain falls from an azure sky, you will find it.)

I'd love to leave personal messages for you all, but I simply don't know who you all are. :-p So contact me . . . the usual places. jordan.estrada@students.phc.edu, or Aroekano Nenova (It's pronounced ArROW-ka-know NE-nova for the curious among us. ) I'll be glad to talk to you. Or if you want to see the REAL Jordan, come visit me at PHC, I'm staying there over the summer. If you have cookies to send me, send them to Jordan Estrada, One Patrick Henry Circle Box 161, Patrick Henry College, Purcellville, VA, 20132.

Ahhh . . . so what can I tell you? Life has been good . . . growing up has been good. I have gone into trials, as well as had them come to me. My heart has been and is full of many things . . . but that's good, too. In all my travels, I have four things I've brought back for you; a praise, a parable, a peeve, a perspective, and challange. (Hahaha, you were so sure the last one was gonna begin with P, too! Tricked you!!! Again!!!! )

First . . . my praise. I searched for God with all my heart, and I found Him. And now I never wanna stop searching for Him again. I feel like, when I was saved, that was when God found me. But then He invited me to search out Him, to run with Him, to run towards Him. And I did, and now I'm basking in His awesome, awesome glory. 'Course, the closer I got to God, the worse of a person I became, funny how that happens. :-p That's why we like the dark. We can be like "yo, dude, look at me, I'm suave." and everyone's like "sho'nuff, dude, yo suave." But then . . .we get pushed out into the light, and, oh, man, we're wretched rotting, un-dead cursed pirates that turn into skeletons in the moonlight. :-p The more I've run to the light, and the closer I've drawn to Christ, the less respect I have for myself . . . but that's okay. My sin, oh the bliss of the wonderous cross; my sin, not in part, but the whole . . . is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, praise the LORD, it is well, with my soul! Now everything's about Him. I'm no longer trying to sanctify myself so I can look good. I'm doing it so I can be more like Him, because the more I'm like Him, the closer we are as brothers. And that's what I want. And that's what I've found. For the first time in my life, I can say, I can sing, that I HAVE A FRIEND IN JESUS!!!!!

Then there's my parable. You know the running machines? The treadmills, that you get on, and pretend to be exercising on, when you really should be out running (unless you're like my dear dad, who lives on a hill made of sharp rocks, so running on hills isn't really productive, better use the treadmill  . . . but all the rest of you. :-p). Well, imagine life as a treadmill. And you're running. And you slip. And all of a sudden, you're down on this speeding piece of rubber, and it's pulling you down, and you're out of control, and its going too fast for your feet, and you're gonna get dumped out on the rug. . . and then, suddenly, there's this big red flappy thing right before your eyes that says "IN EMERGENCY PULL TO STOP." And you, wise man or woman of the world that you are look at it, and scream, "AHHH, I can't DEAL with another decision, can't you see I'm in trouble? How can you expect me to deal with a little red flappy thing when I'm falling off my treadmill?" Well, that's what we do to God . . .what I do to God. We're facing trials in life, and God mercifully tells us, "Trust me, and it'll be okay." And we say we can't deal with it. I mean, how many of us, in time of trial haven't neglected our devotions, cuz we were too busy? But those devotions were the thing that would have made all the difference. We chose to fight our own battle, and neglected the help from on High. Don't do that, people. Put your troubles on hold. Even the urgent ones. Go to God first. You need Him more than your troubles need you.

Then, my peeve. Ahhhh, the fun part. Now I get to complain. Yes, this is a peeve, yay, even a pet peeve. :-p Here goes. I wish that if people wanted me to go away, they'd say so, and if they wanted me to stay, they'd make it clear. What are you supposed to do when someone's holding you out at arms length? It's impossible, because if you try to get nearer, they push you away, and if you pull back, they blame you for breaking away. But worst of all, you cannot relate to them in any way.. Give me a relationship, good or ill, and I will be happy. Make us enemies or friends, and I am content. I can relate to a hug, or a fist . . . but relating to a cold shoulder; that I have not yet learned. If people were upset with me, I wish they'd say something! I can deal with that. I can read minds, yes, but not everyone's all at once. :-p So if you don't tell me you're hurt by something I'm doing, chances are I won't know, and won't respond the way you want me too! So simple solution. :-p If you're frustrated with me, even if it's a little-itty-bitty-teeny-tiny-einsy-weinsy-too-small-to-fit-on-the-head-of-a-pin frustration . . . .? Tell me. We can talk it through. There's always a solution when two people are willing to talk about something. It bothers me, because there are all these people in the world, who are mad at me, and I don't know! Like I'll be talking to X friend, and they'll say, "Jordan, you know, K friend is hurt by the way you treated them." And I'll be like, "Oh, duh, when were they going to tell me?"  So seriously (and this goes for anyone, really, it's just a generally good rule), if you're cross with me, or if you feel like our friendship isn't what you want it to be, come talk to me. I don't bite. Why use my teeth when I have so many knives around? Heheh . .. I save my knives for when I have problems with people. AND if all other negotiations have failed. :-p And I've never quite been at that point. :-p Yet. :-p Okay, so is that clear? I don't wanna have to repeat this. Next time, it won't be a nice happy post on my blog. Next time, I shall pace in front of you and do my little "I'm not happy Bob. NOT happy. Ask me why I'm not happy, Bob." song and dance routine. OOOh, scary, you don't want that, right? Right? Okay, cool, we're cool, then.

And then, my perspective. I've gone through a lot of hard times with friends. I've been rejected a lot, I've been betrayed, mistrusted, scorned. I've given everything to friends and had them hurt me in return. And it's been painful. But recently, an astonishing revalation came to me. All those times, I've had people mistrust me, spurn me, turn away from me, use me and then lose me . . . .:::whispers::: that's what I did to God. That's exactly how I've treated Jesus EVERY SINGLE time I had a friend who hurt me, they were just doing something I had done to Jesus, over, and over again. I've rejected God. Forgotten Him. Mistrusted Him. Turned to other things, instead of Him. Expected benefits from Him, but refused to commit to Him. Took from Him and gave nothing in return. Failed to love and thank Him. And the pain I've felt when people did these things to me, that's how I made Jesus Christ feel. . And yet, while I've been so tempted to be bitter, Jesus loved me ALL the more, even when I did these things to me, and continued to shower blessing on me, that I neglected even to be thankful for! Oh the sheer horror and wonder of it all! Can you grasp what I mean? Have you ever been hurt by a friend? That's how Jesus felt! That's how Jesus felt at the cross, multiplied a BILLION times over! And yet, He loves us . . . he loves us . . . He smiles fondly upon us, and blesses us with His hands. :::tears well up in eyes::: That's too much, people . . .too much. What do you say to something like that? When I realized this, I was stunned . . . my body sagged. I think I may have even fallen to my knees. And the only thing I can think is, My God, my God, why have I forsaken you? Father, forgive me, for I know now what I do. :::quietly::: And He did. What do you say to that?

So, that bring me to my challenge. . . Love God, people. Love Him with all your heart. Seek Him, every moment of the day. Seek him, relentlessly. Demolish anything that comes between you and Christ. Pursue Him. He found you first . . . now he wants you to find Him. You don't know Him like you ought. You don't love Him, as you ought. So hit the ground and don't stop running. Tear through the chains, the blinders, the thorns. Wipe away your tears and look up, for He is coming. NEVER, ever stop, until you come into the Kingdom. Every day you are not running towards God is a day you're running away from Him, just like Jonah ran to Tarshish. If your life feels good, even though you know you're not right with the Lord, then you're sleeping peacefully through your storm, like Jonah. Don't do it. I plead with you, make your life ALL about Christ. This song I love says it best:

All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this

Knowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, Lord

Now my heart's desire is to know you more
To be found in you and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All-surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh, to know the power of your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like you in your death, my Lord
So with you to live and never die

There's the truth people. Go, and make it so . . . That's what I'm doing. There's nothing else more worth doing it. Don't settle for a life where Jesus is one option out of many. Make Jesus your life -- your whole life. Seek Christ RELENTLESSLY. 

:::takes a deep breath::: Well, that's all I have to say . . . all I can say for now. Bet it was enough words to keep you busy for a while. :::grin::: Hey . . . I love all you people. Stay in touch. Know that, even if I can't talk to you a lot cuz of all I have to do, I want to, and I think of you.

May God bless each one of you richly.

Your brother,

Jordan