hmmm...i realize that this journal is a waste of my time. I'm sticking to livejournal.

i also realize that the internet is a lonely place...i can't be happy here. the only thing that makes me happy is to be with actual people. especially with tim. he is everything to me. he knows what to say, he knows how to playfully push my buttons. he knows what to do with me.

he knows how to make me smile when i'm in a bad mood. no one else can do that.

he's the only reason why i'm here...the only reason for me to move on to actually do something with my life. to make a future for both of us.

i have no friends on here. i thought i did, but i guess it was wishful thinking.

a friend from my school is doing his best to get me a good graphics card so we can play ffxi together. that's what i'm sticking with from now on.

i'm going to change my AIM sn. for irl friends only. since the current people on my list hadn't spoken to me in a long time, i'm guessing they won't miss me.

and yes i do get dumped by internet friends...all the time..everyday...

meh, I canceled my ffxi account.

I dunno if i'll be back on it either. Because right now I don't have constant access to a computer. All I have is Tim's laptop, and he needs it too sometime. Like this week I only had it for only 24 hours altogether. So I hardly had any playtime.

So my solution is to find a good video card for my computer. But I have no money to buy one. So it'll be awhile until I get one, and install it and be able to play the game on my computer.

Another thing is that I can't play with my friends anymore. I tried on other servers but it screwed up the laptop for some odd reason. Even if I did get on their server, I'll be too low leveled, and it's not like anyone's gonna wait for me, heh. Same goes for the friends on the same server as me. They have more levels than me, and there is no way I can catch up. And I don't seem to be online the same time as they are anyways, so what's the point in wasting my money on a game I can't have access to 24/7, or have no one to play with? So yeah, here are my reasons.

Maybe by some miracle, someone might actually GIVE me a graphics card, which I doubt. I prolly won't be able to get one until after the holidays. So until then, laters~

I'm going to play some Halo.

bleh, the comment thingy is not working so i'll just post here. muffin, i'm not mad at you. i have either been busy with ffxi, school, tim, or just not at the computer. In fact, I haven't spoken to anyone lately, so don't feel that you're the only one left out of the group. I don't even think there is one anymore...unless i have been kicked out too...

sorry for not updating...i have been...busy...with...a little game...i like to call...ffxi...heh. Tim is letting me use his laptop unitl i can get a card for my computer. So sweet of him. But geezus this weekend has been awful. Ever since Thursday night, me and Tim have been fighting on a regular basis. Really been on an emotional rollercoaster. But by Sunday night, everything was good. But geez, it was the most fighting we had. It was like a whole 10 months worth. We hardly fight, seriously. Our anniversary is in less than a month...I have no clue what to get him. Ah wells. I'm waiting for servers to be up. I might just clean or something heh. laters~

fuck people...

why in the hell be on AIM if you're not even there? Yeah everyone have fun on their precious ffxi while everyone laughs at my stupidity. I would really enjoy that.